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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked for £160 from a single mum on income support

539 replies

lucindia · 03/03/2017 19:54

I'm a childminder. I looked after a child for a single mum on income support. She was doing the 15 hours free hours. She phoned to tell me she would be sending her daughter to the local school in 4 weeks time.

So I contacted the funding department to explain that I would no longer be having the child and the date that would start.

They got back to me and said they would only be able to pay the first week of the notice period and the rest would have to be paid for by the parent.

Even though the mum had given me a months notice, I didn't actually have her child at all during that month. The day she text to say she would be going to school in a months time, was the day she stopped coming to me as the Mum was visiting family for a month.

But I was still entitled to be paid for that month. It was also a compulsory notice period.

So I sent a very polite message to the Mum explaining that she would have a balance of £160 to pay as the funding department could only pay 1 weeks notice.

She said that was fine but would need to wait until her income support payment came in the next day and would then send me that. She would send the £60 the following week from her child tax credit.

I thought nothing of it.

I mentioned it in passing to my mother in law (who I get on very well with) and she said she couldn't believe I made her pay £160 when I never even looked after her child for that notice period month and that seeing as my husband and I have a joint income of 40k we could have easily afford to let her off with the £160 which was a lot for a single mum on income support.

I never considered I was doing anything wrong. I'm entitled to be paid for that month and there's a notice period for a reason.

I really like the girls mum and we always had a great relationship when her daughter was with me. She's been with me from before she was 1 as her mum was finishing university.

What do you think. Was I unreasonable to ask for the money?

She's on benefits but qualified in a professional job and job hunting. So does have options.

OP posts:
cathf · 03/03/2017 21:16

I wonder how many people who have said they would not have asked for the money run their own business?
Or would be perfectly fine with having their pay docked by £160 one month?
And as for the pp who said it would be good for the op's reputation to waive the fee - words fail me!

Broccolirevolution · 03/03/2017 21:18

I wouldn't have taken her money - not unless I really needed it.

angeldelightedme · 03/03/2017 21:18

I don't understand.If the child has to give you a months notice, why didn't you give the funder the same finish date?

TitaniasCloset · 03/03/2017 21:19

Well I wouldn't have taken it, but your business your choice.

ohtheholidays · 03/03/2017 21:20

If it was me and I needed the money then I'd have said she could pay me £10 a week,if I didn't need the money then I would have waived the fee.

I was a single Mum and I could feed my DC and pay the bills but I couldn't afford to feed myself properly a jar of supermarket coffee for under £1 was a real treat for me for back then.

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:22

Who do people suggest pay the ops bills that month when she's down £160?

Kickingkat · 03/03/2017 21:22

Nope I wouldn't have taken the money.

You didn't lose out on anything. You didn't have the child. The notice period is neither here nor there.

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:23

Oh the holidays do you do that at your current job - if you decide you don't desperately need the money that month you tell them not to bother?

Kickingkat · 03/03/2017 21:23

Stealth, she already said they wouldn't notice the money.

I would have given a different answer if she was short herself

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:24

what way has she not lost out

gillybeanz · 03/03/2017 21:24

It's business, so no YANBU to ask for the money.

I think you should brush up on data protection though and make sure you aren't mentioning any more of your past or present clients to anyone else.

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:24

Do you apply that logic in your own job?
I can afford to be paid £200 less this month so please just dock it from my wages.

EyeStye · 03/03/2017 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angeldelightedme · 03/03/2017 21:28

Please can someone explain because I am not sure I understand? If the parent has to give the OP 4 weeks notice, then surely the place belongs to the child for the whole of that 4 week period, she could have turned up any day during that notice period. So why did the OP not give the funder a finishing date to coincide with the end of the notice period.Am I missing something?

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:29

Well the 15 hours is only in term time isn't it? Not sure how she hadn't come across that before or which holiday the op means, maybe I'm just confiding it further

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:31

Ah does the op mean the child started preschool?

stella23 · 03/03/2017 21:40

So how did you come to the amout of £160? Did you work it out from your funded rate by breaking it down to hourly, or is this your normal daily rate.

I would want the years team to confirm in writing that they are suggesting that mum pays as would be worried you are charging a top up fee. Have a look in your provider agreement there might be more Info there

OopsDearyMe · 03/03/2017 21:42

Its strange that the funding doesn't cover the full period as they must know that she would be charged for the remaining monies. Hmm I think as she's OK with paying that its fine. She might take it as charity and be offended. People offend don't invite me to things because they think I can't afford it on benefits and as a single person. But I manage my money well and am more financially able at certain times of the month/ year than you might expect.

There are all sorts of issues here. Clearly you are entitled and legally yes you have every right to the money.
I would not feel happy charging for services I had not provided, but that was herb choice to stop when she did, she could have given notice earlier and stopped when the period was up.

I think that anyone's income is irrelevant, you might want to do her a favour but its not fair on others who have better incomes, that's coming from a single parent on benefits myself. If she's a good friend, she will understand and as you have said, you have already knocked off a few bits and allowed her to pay in installments. I think that's fair enough

TreeTop7 · 03/03/2017 21:44

You're a business owner so you can't be too sentimental. Offering to accept £15 per week for 4 weeks might be a decent compromise and she might be more inclined to recommend your business.

hookiewookie29 · 03/03/2017 21:47

I'm a childminder. I would have taken the money. She chose not to use the space although it was there to use. We run a business, and the fees pay our bills (no matter how much your husband earns).
I really don't understand people on here who think you are being unreasonable,or should only have charged half. If a nursery or pre-school charged the 160, nobody would bat an eyelid.

Lumpylumperson · 03/03/2017 21:47

You were entitled to that money so from a business sense YANBU.

You could afford to take the hit, she will struggle and you didn't actually work so I wouldn't have taken the money. Life must be pretty tough for her, little one, single mum, job hunting on a low income. I'd have given her a break and let her off paying.

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:50

Tree top bur that's only £60

StealthPolarBear · 03/03/2017 21:51

Genuine question, do other self employed people let clients off bills?

GloriaGaynor · 03/03/2017 21:52

I wouldn't charge it personally.

GloriaGaynor · 03/03/2017 21:54

Yes (answer to stealthpolarbear) I know how tight life is on income support.

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