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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked for £160 from a single mum on income support

539 replies

lucindia · 03/03/2017 19:54

I'm a childminder. I looked after a child for a single mum on income support. She was doing the 15 hours free hours. She phoned to tell me she would be sending her daughter to the local school in 4 weeks time.

So I contacted the funding department to explain that I would no longer be having the child and the date that would start.

They got back to me and said they would only be able to pay the first week of the notice period and the rest would have to be paid for by the parent.

Even though the mum had given me a months notice, I didn't actually have her child at all during that month. The day she text to say she would be going to school in a months time, was the day she stopped coming to me as the Mum was visiting family for a month.

But I was still entitled to be paid for that month. It was also a compulsory notice period.

So I sent a very polite message to the Mum explaining that she would have a balance of £160 to pay as the funding department could only pay 1 weeks notice.

She said that was fine but would need to wait until her income support payment came in the next day and would then send me that. She would send the £60 the following week from her child tax credit.

I thought nothing of it.

I mentioned it in passing to my mother in law (who I get on very well with) and she said she couldn't believe I made her pay £160 when I never even looked after her child for that notice period month and that seeing as my husband and I have a joint income of 40k we could have easily afford to let her off with the £160 which was a lot for a single mum on income support.

I never considered I was doing anything wrong. I'm entitled to be paid for that month and there's a notice period for a reason.

I really like the girls mum and we always had a great relationship when her daughter was with me. She's been with me from before she was 1 as her mum was finishing university.

What do you think. Was I unreasonable to ask for the money?

She's on benefits but qualified in a professional job and job hunting. So does have options.

OP posts:
mycatwantstokillme1 · 03/03/2017 20:14

Up to you - but in your finacial position I don't think I would have asked her for the money.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 03/03/2017 20:14

I think YANBU, business wise.
But I wouldn't have taken that money off her, especially as you didn't even have the child.

UserReuser · 03/03/2017 20:15

It depends on if you filled the space, if you were unable to do so in the notice people to replace earnings I think asking for the money is fine. I think if you didn't try to fill the space ASAP it was a bit off as the purpose of the notice is to protect earnings

Notso · 03/03/2017 20:16

I think I might have been tempted to arrange payment over a longer term to lessen the impact for her but obviously that depends on how much you needed the money.

longdiling · 03/03/2017 20:17

I'm a childminder but a terrible business woman and I wouldn't have taken the money if I hadn't had the child - not in those circumstances.

longdiling · 03/03/2017 20:18

I'm not sure which if us is right though to be honest. Also I have tons of enquiries all the time and a waiting list so I could have filled the space immediately. Which obviously makes it easy for me to write off the notice money

Shurleyshummishtake · 03/03/2017 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alltouchedout · 03/03/2017 20:21

I suppose you were technically absolutely right, but i dont think you were kind. Running a business is not about kindness of course and you're certainly entitled to prioritise being businesslike above being kind.

Bluntness100 · 03/03/2017 20:21

Clearly you're not being unreasonable, it's your right and it's the contract in place. But no, I would not have done it, not in this scenario, to a single parent on income support when I didn't even take care of the child nor was I in need of the money. However it's your right, you've done it and you have already taken the money from her.😒

NapQueen · 03/03/2017 20:24

Did you or her look.into what the funding periods notice policy is? If it was able to be established that they only pay one weeks notice then you could have contacted them 3 weeks into the notice period and notified them then.

Dreadfulidea · 03/03/2017 20:28

I couldn't take money off someone for doing absolutely nothing especially if I knew they couldn't afford it. And I actually don't, being in a similar position.

But I don't think YABU as you are a business

BanginChoons · 03/03/2017 20:31

What Nap Queen said. Why didn't you give the school start date as your finish date? Wasn't this the end of the notice period given by the parent?

AgentProvocateur · 03/03/2017 20:32

You're not unreasonable as you're ruining a business. Having said that, unless I was desperate, I wouldn't have taken the money from her. She'll have made sacrificies to pay you.

Benedikte2 · 03/03/2017 20:37

most businesses could not survive if they charged only what they felt their clients could afford! If the mother had cried poverty then you could have chosen to reconsider but she clearly didn't quibble so don't know why your mil is voicing her opinion to make you feel guilty.
The reason you and your DH have a good income is because you are working, surely? Is mil jealous you have a good income?
You are nbu

StatisticallyChallenged · 03/03/2017 20:38

No yanbu at all. Unfortunately my experience with childcare business is that people will have no qualms about taking the piss and that word gets around so you have to be ultra professional

ShimmyOhoh · 03/03/2017 20:39

Sorry but I think it was really mean of you to take the money. I'd give it back to her, personally.

BlackMirror · 03/03/2017 20:43

I'm a LP on income support and that would cripple me at the moment but maybe that woman has savings and didn't mind.

If you didn't have the child I probably wouldn't have asked for it personally

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/03/2017 20:45

YABU. With the greatest respect to say you're a child minder. You can't care much about the child's welfare to take £160 off their mother. I hope mums got enough to put gas electricity in the meter,: and food on the table.
Yes absolutely to defend you. You're running a business not a charity, but. You could have taken the money In installments.

StatisticallyChallenged · 03/03/2017 20:47

This is ops job. It's how she makes a living. The mother has, I presume, signed a contract with a one month notice period. Op probably can't fill the space straight away, it takes time.

Childminding is a business not a charity. Op has done nothing wrong

SumThucker · 03/03/2017 20:49

I wouldn't have, but you were entitled to I suppose.

lucindia · 03/03/2017 20:50

i told the school last week that the child would be leaving and gave thedate she starts school. They would only pay one week of that month.

It made no difference what date I rang.

OP posts:
lucindia · 03/03/2017 20:52

Yes I'd have lost a months earnings without asking her for the money as I wasn't able to fill the space. Still haven't found anyone to take it. That's why there's a notice period to cover the childminder to find a child to take the place.

OP posts:
lucindia · 03/03/2017 20:53

I would have been happy with instalments. The mum offered the money the way she ended up paying for it.

OP posts:
BigGreenOlives · 03/03/2017 20:54

The fact that you & your husband work & have a good living is irrelevant, you had a contract with the mother & she did not query the terms. Your MIL is shit-stirring.

BoomBoomsCousin · 03/03/2017 20:54

Why does the funding department only pay one week's notice? Was it because she wasn't actually sending her DC to you anymore? So If she'd given notice 3 weeks earlier, while she was still using you, the funding department would have covered until the end of the full notice period, because the child would have been there for 3 of the weeks and then there's a week "grace" period that they cover? If so, YANBU since she could have given the appropriate notice and not been charged anything.

If it's more that everyone using the free 15 hours is always going to have that out of pocket expense because your contract is at odds with what the funding department will pay for, then YABU.