Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

I would put a photograph of the two of you from when you were younger in the frame, maybe she would realise what a major fuck up she's made when she opened it

£400 each?!?
There's three of us. £1200 plus outfits

I cannot even begin to imagine charging people to come and celebrate with you, nor even expect gifts. The point of a wedding is to legalise your relationship with your partner and it's wonderful to share it with friends and family. It's your day, and if you want people to join you, then pay for them to do so!
'Live within your means' also includes weddings and parties!
The fact is, your guests are your friends. What sort of person uses their friends as a bank account?

MalletsMallets

What no gift?

Bet there was a tacky poem to say, 'In addition to paying £400 to attend our wedding, we would like some cash for our honeymoon, you know, as a gift.' How many people actually stumped up £400 each? I can't believe anyone would, excepting maybe the bride and groom's parents. I can easily find plenty of stately homes that offer weekend breaks for less than £400 each and that even includes some spa treatments!

We had to do it for our guests and asked them for £400 each including all their meals for the weekend in a stately home.

No, you didn't have to at all. You wanted to get married and you wanted to do it somewhere you couldn't afford.
It's like buying a car you can't afford and then charging people £50 a lift.
No one made you get married there. I'm not surprised people got 'funny' about it.
I don't like the idea of being told that I've got to spend £800 before clothes and travel on a weekend somewhere I don't want to go and be bored while I'm doing it. (All weddings are boring, fact). I'd rather spend the £1k (after travel and clothes) on a nice holiday rather than subbing someone else's dream wedding.

With the stately home thing, you ask anyone if they want to stay and the price is 400 quid, if not they are welcome to stay elsewhere. Sounds like the poster expected people to stay when they couldn't afford it and that's not ok. Ever.

waterfall are you joking? Oh dear, have you just realised you made a bit of a mistake?

The whole "hire a stately home for 2 nights and guests have to stay package" are for people who are able and prepared to cover the whole costs. It should have been free for your guests! The most you could ask and still be polite would be a contribution to the night before the wedding dinner (as long as you were happy for people to only turn up on the Saturday morning)

You couldn't afford your wedding plans so charged your guests.

'No one made you get married there. I'm not surprised people got 'funny' about it.
I don't like the idea of being told that I've got to spend £800 before clothes and travel on a weekend somewhere I don't want to go and be bored while I'm doing it. (All weddings are boring, fact).'

Oh, I'd have found it hilarious and would have told anyone who would listen about it so we could all laugh at the utter cheek of it. I agree, weddings are boring.

Lol at asking for £400 but being 'shocked' at £540 😄

Waterfall
I wouldn't have been nasty just gobsmacked at the arrogance of someone thinking I would fork out £400 to watch someone get married. Basically you wanted a big stately home wedding you couldn't afford and wanted other people to pay for it for you. And the was thing is you don't even see how bloody greedy that is. Who the hell has £400 to spend for basically an hours ceremony somewhere miles away. Factor in travel, outfits, drinks and it's a lot more. Give your head a wobble nobody is that self important surely?

What the hell happened to your wedding you pay for it?

When I arranged to be married at a similar sounding stately home thing, I paid for all my guests to stay gull board two nights. I would not have expected them to pay especially as they had a long drive to venue (300+ miles for most of them). I also stipulated no gifts (but they brought us gifts anyway ).

I am shocked that waterfall placed such a burden on her guests and hope she now understands why she was unreasonable.

When I had looked at booking a Stately home at £20k it never entered my mind to charge guests. I had factored in paying for the rooms completely. In the end though I went abroad to get married, much less of a faff.

What I don't get about having a wedding in a stately home, such as waterfall had, is that if you have to hire it specially because you don't live in a house like that, or have one in the family, why pretend that you do?

Particularly if you can't actually afford it, and have to then charge your guests to attend. It's weird to be so mercenary for what should be about anything but the money .

So I suppose it's just pretentious and vulgar show. But fake. I just don't understand why anyone would pretend they're something that they're not, on your wedding day, of all days.

Wow who knew there was a wedding mafia forcing people to have weddings they can't afford and then charging the guests to cover the difference!!! I think we need to unite and help this poor victims!!

When I got married we didn't have money so we got married in a hotel with close family only, had a late 4 course lunch there with them afterwards, with a wedding cake from Waitrose, a few glasses of Prosecco and then some fireworks MIL had bought from Aldi set off from the hotel balcony. MIL did the flowers which was her hobby anyway. They all went home & we stayed the night in the hotel. We paid for everything & it all came to under £1000. We wouldn't have dreamt of asking ANYONE to contribute, even though they were family!

One of my guests turned up in exactly the same dress as my brides maids. I'd bought them from monsoon so the chances were high, and I didn't give a hoot. She looked beautiful, my bridesmaids looked beautiful and we all had a really super day.

She's being precious. Tell her to stick it.

I can't believe people expect their 'guests' to contribute to their wedding costs.
We saved up beforehand and had the wedding which fitted our budget.
Some people asked me before if their outfits were ok - I just replied ' sounds lovely' everytime.

Definitely wear the dress.

Also,try to be in as many photos as possible on the day looking fabulous in it.

The bride sounds like a nightmare.

SHES NOT GOING

Shit the bed, what a bridezilla! Good for you OP for sticking to your guns. Your cousin's snobbery is astounding, and they are def ripping their guests off! Put the cash towards a nice holiday you can actually enjoy instead 😎

'I can't believe people expect their 'guests' to contribute to their wedding costs'

It's an extension of the 'cover your plate' mentality. It got to be where B&G expected guests to compensate them for the cost of their meal at first and now hey, why not get them to pay for your entire wedding and your honeymoon, too? After all, it's a privilege they deigned to ask you to watch you get married.

I have a sister-in-law who's so venal and grasping that nobody int he family cares to talk to her any longer. Everything's money money money, profit and loss, it's not worth my time.

Yet even SHE, when she hired a house for people to stay in for her wedding, didn't charge guest a penny!!