Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

OP - you have made the right decision but I imagine you still feel uncomfortable about the damaged family relationships at the moment.

Unfortunately in families where 'keeping the peace' is valued over 'keeping it real' they do tend to unravel at particular times. Really acknowledging that others are being unreasonable/selfish/unkind and not making excuses for them is HARD! Trying not to take their behaviour personally (when it sometimes comes as a shock) is HARD.

I hope you are able to come to the realisation that 'peace' at any cost is not worth having. Better to be rid of people who will never value you for yourself than keep trying to make the relationship into something it's not - not your decision / their loss and all that...

Omg she's monstrous 😮

I hope you don't give in to some misplaced guilt OP. This is shameful behaviour on your cousins part and your mum should just keep her nose out of it

She sounds completely bat shit. Indeed, is she in glue? I'm so pleased you're not going, now to remember to stick to your guns when your mum tries to entice you back into the mental.

Just. Say. No.

Firstly, your dress is amazing! £19?! Pleeeeeeeease can you tell me where it's from

And

Secondly, she's a lunatic. You're well out of this OP

Oh I've just read, it's ASOS

Well done for getting out of it - fingers crossed you can stay well away. Sure the Gluezilla will pull a few more tricks and your mum will lay on the guilt.. but it's easier to stay out than get sucked back in and feel even worse about it. Brilliant that she's deleted you on Facebook, makes her look like the psycho she is!

So! Where are you going on holiday as a family now? Hope you get a nice night out with your DH to wear the dress, as it really is lovely!

Well done OP, hope the flurry of accusatory/guilt tripping phone calls has died down. Have you spoken to your mum since?

Fucking OK magazine has a lot to answer for. And the dimwits who read it and think that a glossy photo in a beautiful setting = happiness want their heads testing.

madwoman

You missed the 3 day event to include lawn games
So addition annual leave required
Also it's a 5 hours car journey away so petrol money

From the original thread - there aren't any local B&Bs - so min 2 nights due to travel

Also from original - roughly - they were quoted £150 a night - them some people dropped out so Glue informed guests of the price rise to £180 - per night for 3 nights

OP is worried re another price hike for remaining guests or Flue will expect DM to stump up the diffferent

Also Glie refers to the wedding as a 'family gathering' because her event is bringing the family together

I think that covers it

I would be very tempted to tell this Bridezilla to stuff it. If I remember rightly were you not invited in the first place but then got the invite because others have dropped out, or am I getting confused?

If so, then she's been given the brush off by braver souls but still can't see her behaviour for what it is - completely unreasonable and controlling.

I think I'd decline with very strong words and I wouldn't consider myself to be particularly brave BUT you're being walked over. Keeping schtum to keep the peace is just plain wrong.

She's not going, morning. Read back a few pages & you'll see the updates.

The charging rooms thing is a nightmare. Some venues make you pay for the rooms up front and then charge them back to the guests and it's a nasty business. We had to do it for our guests and asked them for £400 each including all their meals for the weekend in a stately home. We said if anyone couldn't pay we'd stand the difference, and then of course most people felt they couldn't pay and were offering £50 and being nasty about it. By the end I just wished none of them would turn up. But £540 is even worse! And the nude dress thing is just outrageous. Wearing white is a big nono but nude? The trouble is the wedding industry puts so much pressure on brides and they get into this very tense emotional space. And some go on massive ego trips... I would have a bit of a stern talk with her.

I've gone back quite a few pages and am glad to see that you're not going now. Please, please keep to this and don't back down.

You don't need to hide away either.
The bride's behaviour is shameful and she should be hiding and hanging her head in shame.
And think of smart, pithy answers if your mum still tries to pressurise you. Stick up for yourself.

I'd cancel the whole thing and go on holiday. Stuff what people think. She sounds like a diva. Stay well clear.

We had to do it for our guests and asked them for £400 each including all their meals for the weekend in a stately home

No you didn't have to! You could've had a local wedding and evening reception - what made you think asking guests for £400 plus travel plus food and gift, new outfit was acceptable? It was your choice not theirs.

£400 each... as in £400 per guest....as in £800.00 per couple before they have even factored in babysitting, travel outfits and guests?

We are financially solvent but there is no way we would have paid that, I am sorry to say.

that was gifts not guests.

Cool jazz 😂😂 bang on!!

In my opinion if you want to get married - you pay for it! If you can't afford a lavish bash - don't have one. You can't expect everyone else (i.e. Your guests) to pick up the bill.
If people are honest - I doubt most even want to spend 2 or 3 days at somebody's else's wedding.

'and then of course most people felt they couldn't pay and were offering £50 and being nasty about it. By the end I just wished none of them would turn up.'

I sure as fuck wouldn't have.

I think you're well out of it, OP. Let them get on with ripping everyone one else off and pissing them all off to boot.

Friends of ours are getting married later this year. We've been sent details of the venue and nearby places to stay. We've been asked whether there are any food allergies/requirements to be aware of.
DD is to be a bridesmaid. So far we've not been told what she can and can't go - we're dress shopping in a couple of weeks. We've not been asked to contribute. The bride and groom didn't even put a poem in the invitation asking for money. What's wrong with them?! :)

"Some venues make you pay for the rooms up front "

And??

It isn't a nasty business-you didn't have to ask guests to pay anything!

When a wedding is at an exclusive venue, it's normal to expect to pay your own hotel bill. That said, sensibly, it would be best if the venue wasn't say more than 40 miles away from the majority of your guests. That way, they have a choice to stay over or drive home. Expecting each guest for fork out £400 a piece because your wedding is in the middle of nowhere is just too much. You really were sucked in by the fantasy waterfall and your guests understandably reacted like op. I would have been disgusted too. On top of travel and clothes, your wedding will have cost a childless couple over £1k before even thinking about a gift .

Another saying waterfall you really did do what we're all saying (well one of) the main problems with this bride is, do you not see that?