Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

I remember reading the first thread from you cousinswedding and am so pleased that you've decided not to participate in their crowdfunded wedding. Shame you won't be wearing the dress... But perhaps you can spend some of the £500+ that you've saved on a lovely luxury weekend break for yourselves and wear the dress then?!

I certainly wouldn't bother to send a cheque with the picture frame if I were you, though.

PS Jaxhog I often wear (some) black to a wedding as my best and most comfortable shoes are black, as are most of my hats. Wore black and white animal print a few years ago and felt wonderful! In fact actually wore a black hat with a veil to an ex's wedding, very glamorous. (Once also wore a white cotton nightie, but that is another story).

F*ck her. If she didn't want guests to wear particular colours, she should've said so. Honestly, making you pay for 3 nights accommodation as well, she sounds like a bitch from hell. I'm just amazed you're actually putting up with it.

You are not teenagers going clubbing. Us, adult females do not, pop over to see what each other is wearing, we respect each other's judgement to wear the correct thing for the occasion. Marriage is not about a fairy tale day and expecting others to fork out for it, I doubt the woman even loves the guy but just wants a stupid dress. (sorry, I experienced a woman like this who married my brother, she was 50 she wanted to wear a meringue again, it lasted 3 months. His friends and family did warn him!). I work and understand money. I would never expect or want my friends to go without a family holiday, to cause stress, lie and make them pay for what sounds like a hellish experience of an unpleasant wedding and a struggle to pay for it. Please decline the invitation, if they cannot understand the strain and sacrifice, they are not worthy friends and give your family a great holiday somewhere else. They sound pretty selfish anyway and the strain they are putting on others will make people fall out, so it would not matter much, if you decline.

What is it about weddings that turns women into a cross between Maggie Thatcher and Hitler?

In my experience, sorry to be a cynic, but the more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage and vice versa.

One of the strongest marriages I know of is of two old friends who had their reception in the church hall, helium balloons tied to the backs of the chairs for decoration and a simple chicken meal for the wedding breakfast.

They now have two amazing teenage daughters.

She sounds an absolute nightmare. However, I wouldn't have chosen a nude dress as it does seem a bit close to what a bride or bridesmaids might wear. Can you add colour with accessories- a wrap/cardi/jacket/scarf/jewellery?

Sorry- just seen that you're not going. Well done. Have a holiday and wear the dress then!

I'd happily give money to a couple rather than an unwanted gift

So would I, moany ... but then for me, it's not so much about what guests choose to give; it's about couples who don't wait to be asked and instead dictate "cash gifts only", "no boxed gifts" and the like

The irony, of course, is that it isn't even necessary as most guests unsure of what to give will probably opt for cash anyway

Cousinswedding - my 1p worth is that she is beyod unreasonable! I know it's family but jeepers! This is 1 expensive outing .. In my humble opinion she can have her 3 day extravaganza but I would only attend the wedding it self or make my excuses and rather spend all that money elsewhere .. tbh the cheek of her now asking you to chamge your outfit would be the nail in the coffin for me .. good luck on whatever YOU choose to do .. I would feel very uncomfortable expecting people to fork out so much just for my wedding .. but that is just me ..

I've never heard of a Bride charging her guests MORE than the rack rate for a room.
Most venues give a discount to wedding guests...

OP i would gladly forward your cousin this thread via email if you PM me her email address. What an absolute entitled bitchy cheeky shit stirring whinging CUNT

I've missed a trick here.

We booked the whole hotel as a package when we married, and gave the rooms to our guests for free.

And we paid for all the food and drinks, including the bar, and we had no presents or a list

And one of my mates turned up in jeans coz he read the invite wrong, and I thought it was funny.

I'm an idiot

I truthfully wouldn't go. DP's cousin got married in Lake District. Rather than stay in the hotel loads of us put money together and rented a massive house. She didn't need to know what we were wearing. It was a lovely weekend. You see where I'm going with this?

Shes a lunatic.... the only thing near close to bridezillas are first time 'no one else has done this' pregnant mothers.

Tell me she already has kids and that isn't another storm on the horizon

Get that family holiday booked before you relent and / or are hassled into attending afterall.

I've just my first official Mumsnet jaw drop along with a sharp intake of breath when I read the comment about your dress, so much so my niece turned and said 'WHAT!!!?'

Unfuckingbelieveable!

cancel your room at the castle , book into a cheap B&B ,and wear your dress with a lovely contrasting wrap .

Is your aunt, cousins mum, the matriarch of the family?
I'm wondering if cousin is lining herself up for the role. Making this a 'whole family together again' thing.

Please, please go for dinner wearing your new dress tonight /tomorrow night (you e just saved £500, you can pay for a babysitter and a nice meal!), get a waiter to take a photo of you and DH together, post on FB and tag DH - prime a friend to comment "gorgeous dress!" It'll piss the bride right off that you aren't sat miserable missing the event of the year...

You don't happen to have access to a wedding dress you could wear do you? I'd be pitching up in that and telling her you'd be aswell getting married yourself for the price

Oh, and I love the people who clearly haven't read the thread.

I think 'cancel the hotel and book into a Travel Lodge' is going to become the new 'cancel the cheque'.

I remember the previous thread. I can't believe your cousin. She's got more front than Blackpool! You've done the right thing and I hope that your mum doesn't give her a penny

I've never heard of a Bride charging her guests MORE than the rack rate for a room.
Most venues give a discount to wedding guests...

A couple of the more expensive exclusive hire venues we looked had different tiers of pricing depending on how much the bride and groom wanted to make from guests. We were horrified when we were told and it put us off them. What's more BIL and his wife got married in a venue we looked at and charged the top rate claiming it was discounted.

We looked at venues recently and one of them wanted £15k plus all the wedding costs and extras over the weekend, etc. Even worse as the evening part had to be in a marquee which was an extra £8k and you had to get your own caterers, florist and others on top. I think it could had added up to £35-40k in total.
They never mentioned how to rip off your guests to make it more affordable though!

Life was so much simpler years ago when people just got married in their local church or registry office and the only people who had to fork out for accommodation were far flung family and friends.