Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

Not Bajoran weddings....it is Betazoids that get married naked in Star Trek.

I'm not giving money as a gift I already have a silver photo frame wrapped up

Unwrap it. Put a photo of yourself wearing this controversial dress in it before handing it over.

A mutual friend ... said she is worried about costs going up!

I can't sy I blame her; at this rate,settling the national debt may well work out cheaper for the remaining guests

Also don't blame you for trying to dissuade your DM from making up any shortfall, but to be honest I really wouldn't worry too much; if she really wants to support this kind of madness I guess that's her look out in the end ...

Giving them the middle finger.

be prepared for your mum saying she'll pay for you to go, as in she'll pay for your room, in the hope of keeping up the happy families pretence

Wow this bride is shocking!!!

I reallllllly hope your mum doesn't pay your share.

As you've already allowed her to browbeat you into paying an exorbitant amount for accommodation you didn't want, to go to a wedding you don't really want to go to, why not offer to lay down at the floor of the wedding venue for them all to walk over you as they enter?

Llangenith she isn't going.

OP, I would sneakily call the Castle/venue and pretend u are thinking of booking the place up for ur upcoming wedding next year (roughly around the same time of yr as cousin's wedding). Ask for an idea of cost in terms of how much whole venue would cost for a 3 day event and cost of wedding.

By the sound of things, and doing calculations, she's pretty much asking for over 20k. My guess you are all having to pay for the whole wedding cost! Not just the price of the rooms. And what a cheek to expect presents after!

Very happy to see u r standing up for yourself! What a load of nonsense and how rude of people to think they can pull this kind of shit! If people keep going to such type of weddings where u are asked to pay so much for someone's idea of their dream wedding, no wonder bridezillas r getting out of control! As too many people r enabling their behaviour!!!

Plz don't back down! Don't go and spend the money on your own family!

I am dying of shame over here, FreeNiki.

You seem to have a problem saying no to people.

Now would be a great time to start. Cancel the booking and decline the invite.

If your mum want yo to go so much, let her pay for it.

Should add, I'm not convinced she isn't going. She wasn't going at the end of the last thread either.......

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer

Don't worry!

"sounds like she's more invested in the wedding than the marriage"

THIS with (wedding) bells on!!

IF the wedding goes ahead, I think 6 months of marriage would be amazing!

"And your mother should have stood up for you. That was quite some betrayal from her and I d be telling her that" absolutely right!

I really hope you don't back down. Sounds like she's trying to get 'guests' paying attendees to pay not just for the venue but everything else including honeymoon!!

I confess I have some major feelings of glee at the OPs update.

Mainly because I let myself be a doormat for years over my DM's desires for playing 'happy families' and I am getting a vicarious thrill at the OP standing up for herself.

Go OP!

As you've already allowed her to browbeat you into paying an exorbitant amount for accommodation you didn't want

To be fair it was the OPs mother who browbeat her into accepting otherwise she was just going to decline. The OP should never have accepted the invitation.

Why is your mum so keen for you to be treated so badly by these people?!

Fantastic result - well done OP Hope you enjoy wearing your fab new dress on holiday.

To be fair it was the OPs mother who browbeat her into accepting otherwise she was just going to decline. The OP should never have accepted the invitation

Exactly - which is why I'm expecting that mum will pay the costs and OP will go to keep everyone happy

I also wonder why OP is so reluctant to tell her DH ...

Why is you mum so invested - I would bet good money that mum's sister (cousin's mum) is the golden child of this family.

So mum has had a lifetime of making sure sister is happy - what she means by family's being close is actually doing things to make her sister happy.

Cousin is therefore simply a product of golden child mum.

If you had had a similar wedding, all aunt's side would have complained bitterly about costs and your mum would have told you to pack it in and do something more sensible. Being close, in this family, is likely not a reciprocal arrangement.

I'm not giving money as a gift I already have a silver photo frame wrapped up

Unwrap it. Put a photo of yourself wearing this controversial dress in it before handing it over.

Oh that makes my passive aggressive tendencies tingle at the thought! Love it.

Sorry. I haven't read the thread.

i was asked to pay an extortionate amount for my hotel room - direct to the bride - and I objected and said I would pay the hotel direct. Basically, they were going to cream the excess to help pay for their rooms and other wedding costs.

Have you already paid for the rooms? I would ask for a refund and say you have booked in at the local travel lodge for £40 a night and it's either that, or you don't come.

I have bought really expensive dresses and really cheap dresses and I can honestly say some of the cheap ones look much nicer than the dearer ones. That dress is lovely and I hope you get to wear it elsewhere and someone who says that to you doesn't deserve to have you at their wedding so stay strong and have a nice holiday with the money you have saved.

Unwrap it. Put a photo of yourself wearing this controversial dress in it before handing it over.

What Scottish says - except that I would make sure that the picture was taken on holiday with the money you saved by dodging the wedding even if I had to apologise for the present being a bit late .

The dress is lovely. I hope you get another opportunity to wear it somewhere nice.

As for your mum, tell her if she's so keen on throwing her money away to pay for your share then then she can give it you directly instead and you'll add it to your holiday money for you- her actual daughter and grandchildren, rather than subsidising a spoilt brat of a niece who doesn't deserve or appreciate anything.