Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

Unfortunately, your cousin still can't see how this whole mess is of her own making.

I'm not at all surprised that she is arguing with her fiancé about the wedding plans. Maybe he's not happy to apply the same demands to his own family & friends?

TBH, it sounds very much as though the bride & groom can't actually afford their wedding and had been expecting people to pay over the odds for rooms in order to reduce their bill to what they could afford.

Strangely, that's not how weddings work. If you can only afford a cheap wedding, you have a cheap wedding. If you want a full weekend in a castle - great - but don't expect your guests to pay for it.

sounds like she's more invested in the wedding than the marriage

Right choice Op she's gone in to some dream land were everything revolves around her!!! 'she's putting on a nice event???' That everyone else is paying for 🙄🙄 She's thinks she can control what people spend on an outfit?? I'm gonna have to say it

Is she on glue????

Great, take the money you saved and book a lovely holiday with it. Bonus points if you book it for a time period overlapping the wedding to really hammer the point home.

Please tell me that I'm not the only who just cheered

Don't feel bad about it-you can't afford it really can you & it should have been a no from the outset imo.

If you hire a place like that you should be prepared to pay for the whole thing less any rooms hired at at the "going rate".

Only being able to afford a place if X amount is paid for by guests is ridiculous.

Is she on glue???

😂😂

Sounds like she hasn't realised that even though you can stage manage the venue, food, bridal party, flowers, favours etc to create your picture perfect wedding, your guests are not a part of your bloody personal pinterest board. You don't get to dictate that they turn up in your definition of finery!

My niece wore a shiny lycra micro dress to my wedding. I do still remember it because dh's family are way posher than mine and I had hardly any family there so she sort of stood out. But it was nothing to do with me what she wore, just like it's nothing to do with your cousin what you wear.

Your dress is lovely btw but I'm just saying that even if your cousin things it's the ugliest thing ever and clashes with her vibe then tough cheese.

She sounds nuts

It's a difficult situation but you've 100% done the right thing OP.

Also op if you haven't already I would make it clear in writing text/email whatever works that you won't be paying for the room anymore as you are no longer going/welcome. She sounds like the type to present you will a bill regardless!!

I think you've behaved impeccably throughout the whole affair. Your cousin has been unreasonable and getting married is not license to behave horribly to people you supposedly care about.

She sounds like a very selfish person and I don't want to criticise your mum or seem harsh, but she is wrong here - you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. Honestly - think about it - could you ever imagine treating someone like that?

Totallly agree you've done the right thing.

Yeah it's all about a nice family party, except that she's being fucking bitchy about 'cheap' dresses. Fuck her.

Your mum and cousin are wrong

Well done you!!!

Do not feel guilty.
Cancel. Do not go.
She's being a complete bitch.
It's a shame your mother isn't sticking up for you more.

She'll regret those words now she's going to have to cover your room cost, her fault entirely, daft woman.

I went to a neices wedding last year in a RC cathedral of all places and one of the guests (friend of the bride) wore a shiny backless hotpant jumpsuit and long boots ! ( and it was December) We 'old' aunts and especially the uncles-- tried not to stare too much..
I am afraid I almost laughed me fascinator off but you had to hand it to her, she did have the figure for it ..

fuck me op no way would I spend that much on anyones wedding let alone a cousin. She's a freaking nightmare and sounds unhinged.

And 3 days!' How fucking boring. You dodged a bullet op.

Situations like this are what the phrase "Suck it up, Buttercup" are for. Not you, her. Wear your pale peach dress.

The only colour you're not supposed to wear to weddings is white.

She sounds like a cow.

BTW I do hope your mum wont cough up 'your share' anyway

You have don't the right thing. You were a bit of a doormat at first, but she has pushed you and pushed you and pushed you, and now you have rightly snapped, but politely and retaining your dignity.

We'll.done

No way would I go to her wedding. I'd also send a text saying why I wasn't coming. Life is too short for this.

Well done.

I cant believe you put up with so much !

I give the marriage a year.

None of this is your fault, OP.

Your cousin sounds batshit and very very rude - it may be wedding stress but it is so ridiculously ill-mannered of her to even expect to comment on what your are wearing, let alone all the rest of it, that she's come across appallingly.

Your mum sounds pretty unsupportive too, and I'd be really cross with her as well.

Either a) your presence is really wanted at the wedding, on which case allowances for cash flow etc and acceptable compromises should be made

Or b) you're only wanted to make up numbers & pay for the bash to make her look good

A wedding invitation is just that - an invitation, not a chance to dictate terms of your guests.

Poor you, OP.

God, read the rest of the thread. What abitch she is. That £19 dress comment was below the belt. Maybe you'd have had more money to spend if you hadn't been dropping best part of a grand on room/travel/meals.

We hired a small castle for our wedding. Everyone stayed for free. A few people paid for a room in a wee hotel locally- but only if they were staying for the evening of the wedding only (£80). Everyone else got a room for free. We paid for dinner the evening before out at a local restaurant, stocked the larder and fridge so everyone could eat whatever breakfast they wanted both mornings and took people out for lunch at a local,cafe/golf club on the day of the wedding. Plus free cocktail,bar and unlimited booze cupboard.

Cow.