Does anyone remember the bride in Wales charging £££ for hotel rooms?

[cousinswedding]

I don't know of any of you will remember me. I posted months ago when my cousin was planning her wedding in a Welsh castle hundreds of miles away from where we all live. Her wedding is a three day event starting on a Thursday and she asked us to pay to stay in the rooms (£160 per night). When other pulled out she contacted us and said the rooms had gone up so were now £180 so at least £360 for accommodation but more likely three nights so £540. Just for accommodation. My mum is pressuring me to go and we have booked it and waved goodbye to the prospect of a family holiday.

Anyway- cousin and I (used to be close she's been a nightmare in all this) got together today as she wanted to come over and see my outfit for the wedding (in two weeks). She got really frosty with me as my dress is a nude colour- is this a thing?? She's asking me to change it and wear something else. The dress is new and was bought specifically for this occasion and I do have an old green one I could wear but I have worn it to another family wedding and I don't like it that much. The dress I've bought is not cream, more like a pale peach. The bride is wearing white.

I'm loathe to waste more money (can't take it back took the tags off) and resent being ordered around like this. Is nude ok for a wedding or AIBU?

I'll never understand why people enable this type of shite behaviour. I mean, no family holiday so you can go to this shindig? What message does that send to your kids? To roll over and let people walk all over you. 'Add a colourful wrap' my arse. Fuck her off for once in your life.

Who the hell does she think she is?! That's outrageous.

What happens to some of these brides ? Its like they are directing a film set

Yes, exactly this.

I can't get over someone hiring a venue for exclusive use and then splitting the entire cost per room amongst all the overall guests. So, if more people drop out the cost rises £200 per night, £225 who knows where it'll end. Not only that, but they're profiteering on the actual charges and on top of that they want hard cash to pay for cars, cake, booze.

As for what you wear, I think I'd have said OK, I'll dig something out of the wardrobe, but have worn the new dress anyway.

I am raging on your behalf OP. Your reply was very restrained!

I made my post assuming you can't get your money back from the venue and don't feel you can back out due to family pressures.

When you say "colourful wrap" you do mean "a womble-esque scarf" don't you?

Seriously though - this woman sounds vile!

So, she is supposed to be important enough to you for her to able to demand your presence for 3 nights - at considerable cost to yourselves. Plus you are important enough to require a personal visit from the bride to inspect your outfit - and are ordered to wear an outfit of her choosing (effectively, as she has vetoed your choice). Are you sure you're not a bridesmaid?

Is she being this insanely controlling with the other guests? If so, I'm shocked that there are still other guests!

You missed your chance after that last message op. You could have told her to stick it and spent the money in a family holiday instead.

Holy moly, OP. Line in the sand time. Fuck the money and just don't go.

Have you already actually physically paid for the room? Because if not...

Pro shopping OP if that dress was £19!

It's beautiful and your cousin is batshit out of her mind crazy. She's also incredibly rude, selfish and grabby.

Who is it that's dropped out of the wedding already? I can't imagine many people putting up with this even for immediate family!

Seriously, you don't have to go if you don't want to.

• But if you do, we will all be expecting pictures

Bloody hell.
"£19 and the three nights of £180, plus petrol, that is. Suddenly you're making me think cancelling our summer holiday so we could afford your wedding was a waste of effort. Let me know if you'd prefer we didn't attend because my dress didn't cost enough. "

I'm a bitch but I hope she has a miserable day with a huge bill to pay at the end of the 3 days

What a cunt.

Id just text back

"You know what? Ive tried. Im out. Have a nice day"

If you really feel you have to go (though God knows why) then yes to the Travelodge idea or a local B & B for one night only. Tell bride that you you aren't willing or able to pay that much for accomodation so you will stay locally for one night and are looking forward to celebrating her day (not three days) with her. Hopefully a few of the other guests will have the same idea then she can pay for her own venue. I find this crowdfunding idea incredibly rude and they should just plan a wedding that they can actually afford. I'm angry on your behalf !

The dress is beautiful it is in no way bridal or even bridesmaids like! She's a complete knob and obviously worried you will out shine her or the bridesmaids!! If you look back I'm guessing she has form for this? I know people can go crazy with weddings but I don't believe they completely do a 180 from lovely to psycho!!! I would have told them to get lost with the room issue but as you haven't and I'm doubtful you will be able to get refund 2 weeks before please don't give in on this too stay strong and if your mum starts badgering tell her as her daughter you would appreciate her support for once!!!

I would definitely not bother going. Spend the money on a nice family holiday. And make DH take you out somewhere in your new dress.

I would tell her to ram her wedding where the sun doesnt shine what an absolute arse shes being.

She really does think she is a princess doesn't she? Even down to getting married in a castle.

I would be telling her to fuck the fuck off.

The outfit vetting alone is nuts. My bridesmaids will be slimmer, more attractive than me and have knockout dresses to wear. I also have several younger cousins and nieces who are particularly blessed in the looks department and I'm sure they won't be wearing sacks either. I also have a child and about a million years worth of sleep debt that none of them have so yeah, I will definitely be the only person looking bridal on the day but objectively I won't be the most beautiful person in the room. Just the most bridal.
But I would be pretty fucking offended by suggestions that other women, my friends and family who I love, might be "upstaging" me, and it wouldn't enter my mind to tell them to dress down so that I shine. It's also misogynistic as hell- can you imagine young male guests basically being told "could you just tone down your handsomeness for the day so that the groom looks the best?"

Absolutely vile behaviour! I you must go at all, wear your dress and limit the number of nights!
Hope you come up with a plan with your Mum!

I showed this to a friend, a sister in independent cranky old bat-hood, and this was one of her comments:

'Holy fuck! If anyone tried that on us we'd have clubbed together to buy them a prezzie - a one-way banana boat ticket to a desert island and a big roll of barbed wire to keep them there!'

I remember your original post about this nightmare of a cousin and her wedding. I'm stunned that you've agreed to go, tbh.

This should really be the final nail in the coffin. Please cancel your booking and go on holiday with your family instead.

Tell your mum you will not discuss this with her, end of. Then follow through. Cut her off/hang up/tell her you're leaving if she tries to engage.

Tell your cousin she's brought this on herself and you feel sorry for her future husband with the way she's behaving. That should make her not want you there anyway. And who cares what she says about you ... everyone will know what she's like anyway, right?

Act like the grown up you are . You're married with a family of your own. Full fledged grow up. Grow a spine and tell her to bog off. You're not spending money on her ridiculously outrageous day.

Am desperately hoping the OP comes back to say that she showed this thread to her mum to show how unreasonable her cousin is being and that the latest text has made her decide to cancel completely and she's texted her cousin to say just that. Fingers crossed!