To not want to use the gift.

[Mumtobe12]

Now I don't want to sound ungrateful but MIL is very excited about new arrival which is lovely. But the other day she brought us a Moses basket with out us seeing first and well it so not what I envisioned. It silk and covered in lace looks like something straight out of queen Victoria's nursery.
I don't know what to do DH doesn't want to hurt MIL feelings and has already told her how pretty it is and how much we like it. But I really don't and know he is not a big fan either,
I do appreciate the kindness of the gift but I'm a bit upset I didn't get to pick this out myself.
I have attached picture so you can see for yourself.
What can I do? I can't not use it now?

So just take the covers off. Or don't use it at all. But you can still say "thanks MIL, that was lovely of you".

She did! FFS doesn't anyone read the thread?

There is nothing wrong with a harmless rant/giggle/boggle at gifts as long as it's not to someone's face.

Yeah but a lot of the other people posting wouldn't say that. Some are meaning horrible about the MIL, just for giving a gift.

nerr just been on the sids website and couldn't see anywhere that said fitted Moses basket covers are dangerous?

Patricia its advised that bedding for children under 1 not be quilted, and that cot bumpers and the like not be used until they're older too. Quite apart from the fact that the OP doesn't like the aesthetic of the frilly shit, it's not actually safe either.

Have only skim-read the thread so apologies if someone has already said this, but I would be concerned if MIL is buying similar stuff for the baby to be in when at her house. So, if she is going to have the baby on any overnights you don't want him / her to be sleeping in something that doesn't comply with SIDS guidelines. She needs educating on this.

It's not a cot bumper. It's a fitted lining so no chance of being. Caught up in it. And unless op is going to stand it onfront of an open fire or gas heater I doubt if it will burst into flames. Obviously no one uses the mattress and buys a 'safe' mattress and suitable covers.
I understand it is purely an aesthetics thing but people are being unkind.

Well I don't know if it's unkind but that's one heck of a horrid Moses basket. Sorry, it really is. The mind boggles.

My mum refurbished my old Moses basket when I was expecting DS.

She had woven it herself while pregnant - it was vast, very deep & oval with a solid hardboard base - she replaced the old mattress with thick foam cut to size

She also hand-quilted a beautiful cathedral-window-patchwork silk lining & drapes for it. It really was beautiful, but so, so unsuitable like a death trap really

She was very offended when I declined it. Later I found some pictures of DS in it that she'd taken while looking after him at her house.

I couldn't have declined that, I would have accepted it, taken some pictures in it, and then used a different one. Or you could have accepted it and then said that the HV told you not to use it or something.
There are ways not to use unsuitable products without hurting the feelings of the giver.

Its unkind to buy such a hugely personal style of gift without knowing if its to the taste of the person you give it to. It really puts them in an awkward position, its a waste of money, and is self centered to expect them to just meekly deal with it.
Its like buying someone a huge African mask or a piece of taxidermy. Then complaining you feel hurt when they say they dont like it.

I don't think its ever unkind to give some a gift. Unwanted maybe. Un-needed, not to their taste, not up to standards, all kinds of things but unkind? A mother buying a moses basket for her grandchild unkind? No, I don't think thats fair at all.

I like it

I think it would like nice in yellow.

Even more

God that's ugly - maybe you could buy some new bedding / lining / hood for it and switch it over if MIL asks about it say there was a stain / mark you washed it the covers and they fell apart in the washing machine!

Worked for me a few times when MIL has presented us with some hideous gifts. 

Otherwise you'll either have to fess up that you hate it or live with it!

Oh dear OP it is hideous! I think I would have said I'd already bought one ..

DD slept (screaming) in moses basket for one day. I built the cot the next day. - just saying.

Whatever you do, DO NOT let her buy your car seat......

Patricia it's barely fitted at all. If you look at it the satin is practically billowing about. The coverlet is quilted satin too. It really is the most preposterously useless waste of money going.

I love a good Moses basket, but one that has safe trimmings is best.

I wouldn't have been mean if this had been bought for me, but I wouldn't have accepted it and I would have explained why.

The word fugly is appropriate here.

diamond 😂😂 NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A CAR SEAT!!

TBH, it's not even whether it's hideous or not. It's the fact that she's been out and bought it without thinking to ask OP and her DH what they would like for their pfb's first bed. I know she's excited and probably had lots of fun choosing it but that has meant the actual parents didn't get to choose.

As OP said, I do appreciate the kindness of the gift but I'm a bit upset I didn't get to pick this out myself.

It's like when Grannies buy things like special occasion outfits, presumably not thinking the parents might want to choose. My mum presented me with pfb's first winter coat a few days before I was planning a trip to choose one for him - I was secretly gutted :( I'd go a bit more assertive by the time I had DD, so when she turned up with a swimsuit for her, before we'd even thought about taking her swimming I had to say something, so I thanked her and said it was lovely but I'd like to choose her next one - mum was a bit surprised and it probably did hurt her feelings a bit but, if I'd not said anything, I would never have had the chance to choose one for her myself - mum would have just kept buying them in the next size up until DD was old enough to chose her own! I know it's something I will be very aware of if I become a Granny. There are lots of lovely things Grannies can indulge their shopping urges with, but leave the 'firsts' and 'special occasions' to the parents.

but leave the 'firsts' and 'special occasions' to the parents

I imagine it doesn't occur to them that buying a coat is some kind of special first ritual saved for the mother. It certainly wouldn't occur to me, and frankly I think its a bizarre attitude.