To have taken back my walnut whips?!

[Idontevenlikewalnuts]

I've NC'd as this is a bit embarrassing. I rarely shop in M&S as I can't afford to but went in this lunchtime as they often have a few reduced items. I spotted two single packet walnut whips on the end of an unused conveyor belt - they had various reduced things on there. I picked them up and had a look at them, saw they were 30p which is fab! I love the 'whippy' bit and their chocolate is amazing IMO.

My phone rang and I put them back down on the end of the checkout (it's hard to explain the logistics), but so they were close to me. It was an important call so I couldn't really rush the person off the phone as I saw this happen - a couple aged about 60ish who had been looking at said reduced items nearby took the walnut whips and put them in their basket. I was so pissed off, as this couple were near me when I was looking at the whips and I only put them down to get to my phone. They were right next to me so I thought it was obvious I'd 'claimed' them.

Ok I'm a bit ashamed but I subtly followed them and when the phone call finally ended and they were busy sifting through some pasta products I took the walnut whips out of their basket and didn't look back!
Quickly got to self checkout and paid for them then half-ran out of the store and to a shop a few doors down.

I feel really guilty and can't bring myself to eat them, am I a horrible person?!

Ha , Nice one OP

I have not had a walnut whip for years . Not since, shortly after an operation and felt all sorry for myself, my mum bought me one . . and it promptly pulled out a crown . I too liked the chocolate on them.

That was a very mean thing to do!

Put them in your own basket if you want them, don't leave and reclaim!

Do not eat them. Donate them to me (and don't do that again!)

I can see this being picked up by the Daily Mail. I really can.
I can see the headlines now...
" Help us find the Wicked Walnut Whirl Woman Cheat!" ( with picture below of sad looking elderly frail couple outside their home, which is worth -walnuts- peanuts)

oops-got that wrong. I'm new to mumsnet and 'walnuts' was supposed to have been struck through on my previous post!

with picture below of sad looking elderly frail couple outside their home

Oooooh! Yes - we need a photo of the elderly couple - she has a bandage on her leg and is wearing his Boer war medals. They are looking very sad and pointing to a shopping basket which is conspicuous for its LACK OF WALNUT WHIPS!

(I bet their cat is poorly, too)

*He is wearing his medals

fecking autocorrect!

I'm shocked, but laughing!

Hurray for you is what I say!

Poor old Malcom and Doreen, you ruined their carefully planned afternoon delight.
Doreen had brought new undies in eager anticipation.
To be fair, it was Malcolm's idea for Doreen to pop one in each bra cup so that he could nibble them.
Whilst you were rummaging in their trolley did you notice the extra strength fixodent, Poor Malcom had to satisfy himself... by ripping her undies off and no walnut whips, after all that effort.

Just checking in to see you haven't been arrested for permanently depriving two people from their walnut whips yet OP

Everyone is saying that they would get home and realise the whips were missing but wouldn't they realise when checking out? Maybe they had a big argument right there in the queue about who had put the whips back / caused them to fall out of the basket / not picked them up in the first place.

Mister - "Marjorie, what happened to those walnut whips?"
Missus - "What do you mean 'what happened', Harold?"
Mister - "They're not on the belt and not in the basket. What did you do with them?"
Missus - "They're not here, how very odd. Harold what did you do with them? You ate them didn't you, you greedy old fart"
Mister - "I didn't eat them, YOU must have dropped them, Marjorie, you careless old cow"
Missus - "I most certainly did not. And don't call me a cow, you fat greedy horse's arse!"

Cashier looking from one to the other, and other customers in the queue getting v edgy as voices are raised.

Manager sees something kicking off and comes over to see what is happening.

Harold - GET your FAT NOSE out of our private business and go find me some more walnut whips!!!
Marjorie - Harold, we've spoken about your rudeness in public before.
Manager - Ah, um, let's keep our voices down, folks.
Harold - I will not have an idiot like you coming over here and upsetting my wife. Now get me my discounted walnut whips you useless piece of crap.

Marjorie and Harold have been banned for life from their local M&S. They are very embarrassed and are having to make up stories for their children and friends as to why they can't pop in and have to go to the Spar instead.

I've been feeling low today and this has seriously cheered me up.

The image of you half-running out of M&S.

YANBU at all.

I look back fondly on the time when I bought what was supposed to be a single M&S walnut whip, but when I opened it there were TWO inside, kind of 69ing.

Scoffed them both. Best day ever.

This thread was amazing when I read it yesterday. But today it changed my life. I bought a salted caramel whip in our local M&S petrol station today. It made my day. Whatever karma points you lost for reclaiming from the elderly must be offset by bringing such chocolate joy into my life.

I bet you had your head down and you scuttled to the till, neither looking left nor right in your desperation to get out out of there before the expected "oi you thief" came bellowing behind you.

I like your style.

I think this is hilarious, I can just picture it. I haven't read all the thread so don't know if you have eaten them yet but hope you enjoy them. Btw you might have done them a favour, Dorren is probably on a diet and Malcolm might have high cholesterol!

Eat them and enjoy them! You will probably run off the calories - the sneaky pair probably sit and watch afternoon TV, but they won't be doing it with a walnut whip today, will they? Good for you!

I am so impressed with the sheer audacity of your WW reclaim. Wonder if the old 'uns are mid row thinking that the other secretly ate them?I have no sympathy with them, thieving bastards. Hope you enjoyed every last crumb OP. And all because OP loves a reduced WW...grin]

ha ha ha pmsl, I love this, I admire your nerve!

"what was supposed to be a single walnut whip but there were two inside, kind of 69'ing"

Just spat out my mouthful of tea.

And now I have to go to M&S tomorrow to buy salted caramel & cappuccino walnut whips. And it's a 28 mile round trip.

Just nearly woke DD laughing at the bit where you nicked them back

You have really cheered me up and made my day 😂😂 I have actually done something similar you go ahead and eat them and enjoy. And thank you so much for making me laugh after an awful upsetting day x

Just checking in to see you haven't been arrested for permanently depriving two people from their walnut whips yet OP

Not yet...but there is still time. Outside Aldi earlier there were a couple of police officers and I was sure they were coming to arrest me, I think they just 'knew' what I'd done, the guilt was all over my face I'm sure my head looks walnut shaped today (bad hair day )

*Mister - "Marjorie, what happened to those walnut whips?"
Missus - "What do you mean 'what happened', Harold?"
Mister - "They're not on the belt and not in the basket. What did you do with them?"
Missus - "They're not here, how very odd. Harold what did you do with them? You ate them didn't you, you greedy old fart"
Mister - "I didn't eat them, YOU must have dropped them, Marjorie, you careless old cow"
Missus - "I most certainly did not. And don't call me a cow, you fat greedy horse's arse!"

Cashier looking from one to the other, and other customers in the queue getting v edgy as voices are raised.

Manager sees something kicking off and comes over to see what is happening.

Harold - GET your FAT NOSE out of our private business and go find me some more walnut whips!!!
Marjorie - Harold, we've spoken about your rudeness in public before.
Manager - Ah, um, let's keep our voices down, folks.
Harold - I will not have an idiot like you coming over here and upsetting my wife. Now get me my discounted walnut whips you useless piece of crap.

Marjorie and Harold have been banned for life from their local M&S. They are very embarrassed and are having to make up stories for their children and friends as to why they can't pop in and have to go to the Spar instead.*

This is absolutely brilliant!!! :) :) :) they did look like a Marjorie and Harold, he reminded me of Harold from neighbours a bit actually!!

The thought of a walnut whip 69'ing is the most surreal thing I've ever heard but it sounds incredible and I wish they made the "69er Special Edition" in M&S.

To the posters who have said it has cheered them up, I know it's sad but that actually makes me feel happy and touched, as I know what it's like when things are shit around you and something lighthearted can take you away from it for a moment and make you smile.

To those I've offended and who think bad of me, all I can say is what I've said already|: I do feel bad about it and have had a niggly feeling since it that it was wrong and will never do that again. The panic of half running out of there and wondering if anyone was watching was not worth it! And I don't think I can go back in that branch for a long time now!!!

Also, some will be happy to read I've had karma of sorts today, went into Tesco for something I'd forgotten at Aldi on my way home from work and used self checkout for the things including a bar of chocolate. Got home and it wasn't there :( I must have left it on the till or dropped it when packing or something. It's on the receipt so paid for but no idea where it is and I'm not feeling too well so not going back out now to ask at Tesco. So I have learnt my lesson

Chocolate caramel karma OP!

I want chocolate now. But it's not even dinner time yet here!