Cheating the system

[AngryNameChanger]

I have a friend, a very good friend in fact, that I want to report for benefit fraud. I feel as unhappy as anything that I feel this way, but I do, and short of cutting all contact with her I will continue to feel very annoyed towards her.
In all honesty, even if I cut all ties, I would still feel very pissed off!

She is a lone parent to 2 primary age kids but she receives a large amount each month in benefits. So much in fact that she manages to save around 500 each month and book holidays, expensive days out and never has to go without anything. It's not on credit, she's very open about it all and will happily tell everyone exactly how much she gets and what it's spent on.

Part of what makes up her huge payments every month is a disability payment for one of the dc, but they are not actually effected by their disability iyswim, and friend has mentioned a few times that she really shouldn't get this payment but when check ups happen they lay it on thickly! I don't want to elaborate more as it could be very outing along with all the other info!

The disability payment, while annoying (her child is as able in everything as other children in every way, but because of a very small thing she gets the payment) isn't the issue, if the powers that be say she is entitled then she's entitled.

I've put this in to show that she's not hard up and stuggling to make ends meet in any way.

My problem is that on top of everything, she's also earning money on the side! Quite a lot of money too, at least £100 per week. Sometimes more.

This is really pissing me off and I'm struggling to remain civil With her when she's talking about money (all the time!)

I feel very strongly that what she's doing is crossing a big line. I don't think it's based on jealousy either, even if that's what's coming across. She is my friend and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I don't think she should be able to just carry on milking the system for every penny while also earning on the side.

I also don't want to put her in a position of struggling because I've said something, although i do feel that if she wasn't doing it then she wouldn't be in the position of getting in trouble.

In all honesty I don't think I can remain friends either way after putting all this down. It has really clarified It all for me.

So my aibu is, aibu to report her?

To be fair . Op is saying she openly brags about fiddling the system, whether op has all the facts or not if she's openly bragging she's not entitled and puts it on like op says then she's clearly not entitled.
But again if I was a friend I would just ask her not to tell me because it made me uncomfortable.

She'll get caught if she's taking the piss. She really doesn't need a 'friend' to shop her and put all her private info on mumsnet.

I believe the OP, there is a possibility that her friend could be 'laying it on thick' with the child's disability. Yeah this does happen no matter how difficult it may be to get. If anything it often seems that the honest ones are the ones that struggle to get DLA or PIP etc. because thy are just that, honest. The people who are cheating the system are the ones who know exactly how to play the game when it comes to filling in forms and attending assessments.
Some people will have only read about these kind of people in the papers so don't believe it really happens (especially when it's The Sun reporting as nobody really believes anything they write), but it honestly does happen.
I could reel off at least half a dozen people I know personally, who are cheating the system to receive DLA/ a mobility car/ tax credits/ housing and council tax benefits etc. Just one of these people alone owns a pair of crutches that he uses when he has these assessments or is ever called in for whatever reason, and he will use them to walk 30 minutes to his appointment, I even asked once why he walked and didn't just get the bus and he said 'you can never be too paranoid, this gives more people the chance to see me needing the crutches', the same person also receives a separate payment each week for him to spend on alcohol as he is classed as alcohol dependent. I can promise you these things are not the case, he doesn't actually drink often as he says now he's over 40 his body can't handle the hangover so not worth drinking it, he also regularly goes to a weight gym to train and box just as he has always done, definitely not in need of either of the benefits he's claiming

To the person who asked how much are these huge benefit payments. DLA for a child (its only PIP for adults) can bring in a large amount of money. Here is an example. A child who receives the Higher rate of DLA is entitled to £82.30 a week = £4280 year + the disability premiums in tax credits £4415 year = £724 month: This is on top of ordinary child tax credits and before the parent claims Carers Allowance of £62.10 a week. In addition only a tiny proportion of this income is included when calculating housing and council tax benefit.
As for laying it on thick, (OPs choice of words not mine) examples include epilepsy where the parent reports more absences than actually occur to the consultants, therefore the evidence supports greater need. Eczema where the parent reports using creams and bandages to keep the skin clear, again the medical evidence suggests greater need.
Now I am not saying that these children are not entitled to DLA I am only giving examples where parents can exaggerate the claim.

toffeelatteplease take that big chip off your shoulder. The benefit system should not be providing the kind of lifestyle described in the OP. It's there to help people who need help to live and get by to a decent standard but it should not be providing someone with holidays, expensive days out all the time, savings in the bank and luxuries that other people can't afford. And it should be there for genuine cases which you sound like, not people who want to milk the system.

I'm sorry you have a disabled child, I have a disabled husband so I do know how difficult life can be. But that doesn't change how I feel about the benefit system.

"I believe, and so does she, that she's doing something wrong. She's said it herself."

What, OP? What is it that you and your 'friend' think (your 'friend' is doing) that is wrong?

Which benefit is she in receipt of that is affected by earnings of £100 per week?

I have an uncomfortable benefits situation myself. my niece claims as a sp of 1, when in fact she lives with her child's father they both work cash in hand, her part time and him full time and declare none of it her bf also claims out of work benefits from his parents address. Their benefits include full rent, 80% council tax, jsa for him, esa for her, child benefit, child tax credits, plus free childcare they would not be entitled to if they declared their earnings.
I feel guilty knowing about it but I could never report as she's my family and I do love her, I just don't agree with what she's doing and have told her this. It's theft end of story and people who are stealing from the system this way are part of the reason our benefits system is collapsing.

If you are on benefits too OP why have you turned down the opportunity to work? Your friend sounds like she is claiming benefits she is entitled to plus working and earning up to the threshold for carers allowance. You are not her friend. You sound full of jealousy and spite. Jeezo, life is hard enough for a single parent let alone a single parent with a disabled child. Oh and stop reading tabloid shit and educate yourself

The child doesn't get Dla or pip, nanna50. Op has said that. The mother gets extra tax credits for the child's disability without getting Dla, which of course isn't possible.
This thread is full of holes.

Nanna Please note that the bulk of Carer's allowance is removed from other benefits and for tax credit purposes counts as taxable income.

Apart from which, this story has more holes than a colander.

vq the benefits system doesn't support that lifestyle, but don't let your prejudices about the system get in the way, will you.

You do realise that you can work whilst receiving DLA or PIP don't you?

And if she's receiving Tax Credits then they won't be giving her ANY benefits beside DLA as you cannot claim both! My friend receives the Disabled workers element of tax credits and it is a lot of money but it is LEGITIMATE! She earns £100 a week, gets £500 housing benefit and her income is £28k but she is genuinely disabled and has to have a doc with her for her assessments!

It sounds like your friend is legitimate also but pretending she is playing the system as she thinks it makes her look 'cool?'

I agree Navy

That's right, spikey. But OP calls it 'DLA' in one of her earlier posts then later says child isn't getting it

Let me guess, you voted 'out'

You keep saying 'full benefits' then you say she gets the added disability payment through tax credits (which is the Disabled worker's element) which means she is receiving Working tax credits. And therefore is NOT getting 'full benefit' as you put it. As you cannot receive any benefit besides child benefit (£20 per week!) and DLA/PIP. You can work as many hours as you like and earn as much as you like whilst on tax credits!

Oh, and the £20 earnings threshold for ESA is ONLY if you are in the 'Work Related Activity Group' if you are rd diving the 'Support' element of ESA you can earn £120 per week legitimately 👍🏻

OP, give her an ultimatum, if you feel so strongly about it?!

I wouldn't be reporting her on the issue of the DLA payment (or whatever they call it these days), that's none of your business and afaik the assessments are pretty comprehensive, they don't give DLA willy nilly.
A friend of mine did - stress-related. She deserved it originally but then, once she was better, found that it was quite nice being given money without working. Told me quite happily that she ramped it up whenever she was assessed.
Report her. It's money that could be used to help someone who actually needs it.

If someone is claiming carers allowance, earning over the allowed threshold and not declaring it I would report them. Chances are they are also not declaring their true income / earnings to tax credits either!

*I genuinely can't believe some of the responses here.

It's disgusting of her, you should definitely report and remove her from your life. What a horrible grabby woman with no morals.

I know lots of people like this. I'll have nothing to do with them, they're killing this country.*

Agree.

Either you're entitled or you're not.

I've reported before. Why should me and my DH work, pay taxes, mortgage and get our pants pulled down every which way while others coast the system because they can.

Oh and £35k jointly between us and two adults at uni to support and bugger all left at the end of the month.

In defence of the OP I work in job that sometimes means I help people fill in forms.

Helped a DLA claim for autistic child. Child had to hold parents hand by road as no road safety awareness - this is a stock phrase used in these claims btw - fair enough. Wrote it on form etc. Following week I drive past the mum and child in busy road - child is 50ft ahead of mum and mum is texting on phone watching child. Went past again in way back, same.

Boils my blood - lying to me and to DWP and because so many of my genuine cases get turned down!

So yes, people can 'lay it on thick' OP. But still if you were a real friend you'd talk to her about this and give her a chance to do something about it if she is being dodgy!

*not watching child

For context, I've been offered cash in hand work and I haven't taken it. I could also be earning lots of extra cash. I've chosen not to because it's illegal.

Morally, you're not much better than her then surely. You could earn, by your own admission, but choose to scrounge off the state instead. That's how it reads to me but feel free to explain if I misunderstand.