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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheating the system

436 replies

AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 14:19

I have a friend, a very good friend in fact, that I want to report for benefit fraud. I feel as unhappy as anything that I feel this way, but I do, and short of cutting all contact with her I will continue to feel very annoyed towards her.
In all honesty, even if I cut all ties, I would still feel very pissed off!

She is a lone parent to 2 primary age kids but she receives a large amount each month in benefits. So much in fact that she manages to save around 500 each month and book holidays, expensive days out and never has to go without anything. It's not on credit, she's very open about it all and will happily tell everyone exactly how much she gets and what it's spent on.

Part of what makes up her huge payments every month is a disability payment for one of the dc, but they are not actually effected by their disability iyswim, and friend has mentioned a few times that she really shouldn't get this payment but when check ups happen they lay it on thickly! I don't want to elaborate more as it could be very outing along with all the other info!

The disability payment, while annoying (her child is as able in everything as other children in every way, but because of a very small thing she gets the payment) isn't the issue, if the powers that be say she is entitled then she's entitled.

I've put this in to show that she's not hard up and stuggling to make ends meet in any way.

My problem is that on top of everything, she's also earning money on the side! Quite a lot of money too, at least £100 per week. Sometimes more.

This is really pissing me off and I'm struggling to remain civil With her when she's talking about money (all the time!)

I feel very strongly that what she's doing is crossing a big line. I don't think it's based on jealousy either, even if that's what's coming across. She is my friend and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I don't think she should be able to just carry on milking the system for every penny while also earning on the side.

I also don't want to put her in a position of struggling because I've said something, although i do feel that if she wasn't doing it then she wouldn't be in the position of getting in trouble.

In all honesty I don't think I can remain friends either way after putting all this down. It has really clarified It all for me.

So my aibu is, aibu to report her?

OP posts:
AwaywiththePixies27 · 26/02/2017 19:46

Do you want that on your conscience? A criminal record that will affect her future earning ability so she can reduce the benefits she receives.

She's running the risk of prison anyway. Regardless of whether OP reports her.

Alfieisnoisy · 26/02/2017 19:46

If that's the case vq then even more reason why you cannot extrapolate for an entire population. And if your "tiny population" people ARE taking the piss then report them and get over it....or is the fact you don't report it because you actually are not sure?

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 19:50

vq I tend to go for peer reviewed evidence, it is in general fairly accurate, more so that anecdata.

Alfieisnoisy · 26/02/2017 19:52

vq I tend to go for peer reviewed evidence, it is in general fairly accurate, more so that anecdata.

^this^

With bells on

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 20:02

vq The DWP's figures fraud with regard to disability benefits is 0.04%. That's enormous, isn't it! Hmm

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 20:02

(for) fraud. Apologies.

JamDonutsRule · 26/02/2017 20:05

the same person also receives a separate payment each week for him to spend on alcohol as he is classed as alcohol dependent.

Hmmyes, sure they do PP, along with the free crack and Rolex they hand out...... I think someone reads too much Daily Mail!

Bahh · 26/02/2017 20:09

Honestly the attitudes on this thread are enough to make anyone vote Tory. Very enlightening.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 26/02/2017 20:12

Bahh that's the second time today you've made me laugh out loud. This time I even snorted a bit. You're a card I'll give you that!

ilovesooty · 26/02/2017 20:15

I must ask some of my clients struggling with alcohol misuse how much their alcohol dependence payments are. Hmm

myoriginal3 · 26/02/2017 20:18

Where do I sign up for the wino payment?

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 20:27

Where do I sign up for the wino payment?
I keep looking, but buggered if I can find it! Grin

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 20:28

Honestly the attitudes on this thread are enough to make anyone vote Tory. Very enlightening.
I might try it next time, will I get more benefits, and a holiday and free alcohol?

PortiaCastis · 26/02/2017 20:29

Don't forget Sky tv dawndonna

Alfieisnoisy · 26/02/2017 20:30

Alcohol benefit, my god where do I sign up lol?

FillySucker · 26/02/2017 20:32

Op I'm sorry you're getting such a beating on here. To those of you accusing those of us who are fed up with watching SOME benefit claimants living the life of Riley, while we work all week for less money - its not necessary to read the daily mail - some of us just have to watch our family live the high life on ther benefits.

I have a close family member who gets £23k per year in benefits - they have one child. They pay NO INCOME TAX OR NI on this amount, although anyone who earned the same figure would have to do so.

It pisses me off to see my DH work 60 hours plus a week (office based job, salaried, doesn't get paid overtime) and find we can't afford the lifestyle they have.

Benefits started out as a safety net and it's high bloody time it returned to that ethos

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 20:39

I have a close family member who gets £23k per year in benefits - they have one child. They pay NO INCOME TAX OR NI on this amount, although anyone who earned the same figure would have to do so.
Benefits are taxed.
So, you're including housing benefit and council tax reductions in that figure?

reuset · 26/02/2017 20:42

Thank you, Fillysucko. I've almost completed my benefits bingo card.
Much obliged.

OP still making dinner? Must be a big pot she's stirring Grin

reuset · 26/02/2017 20:44

Roaring at the alcohol payments. You couldn't make this up.

FillySucker · 26/02/2017 20:48

Dawndonnaagain yes the £23k includes rent etc, why shouldn't it? it's a benefit and enables them to live a life that far exceeds what should be available on benefits. My family member outright says they wont go to work because they cant earn what they get on benefits and will have to pay their own rent and council tax....why trhe fuck should they have a choice?

PortiaCastis · 26/02/2017 20:52

Isn't the benefit cap £20,000

GoLiveInTheHouseOfDavid · 26/02/2017 21:00

I'm not commenting on the op but I know for certain that my biological dad (when he's not in prison that is ) has had weekly payments in the past for alcohol dependency . He gets PIP now but he used to get DLA plus a weekly allowance for alcohol . I'm not sure if he still does but he definitely used to , it is a real thing .

TheFairyCaravan · 26/02/2017 21:02

Fucking Hell! Who opened the floodgates and let all the Daily Mail readers in? Shock Angry

There's more bollocks on this thread than in a room of 500 blokes. Honest to god, if you're going to spout off about something, try and do a little bit of research before hand.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 26/02/2017 21:04

If your DH is working 60hrs a week and not coming out with that.

His employer is taking the piss. Not the few benefit claimants you know of.

IAmNotAUserNumber · 26/02/2017 21:06

She earns £100 to £200 per week and you think she could easily live on that amount alone? Hmm