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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Urgent advice needed -AIBU to go ahead with Birthday party today ?

152 replies

Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 08:03

Middle DS is 7 today , party booked for 1130 , cake made etc etc. youngest DS (3) has developed chicken pox yesterday morning and obviously is in quarantine. So it is highly likely birthday boy is incubating it. AIBU to go ahead with his party in a soft play area knowing this is the case ? On one hand, children need to have it ideally , on the other by keeping schtum I am taking away the choice from the other childrens' families ....what if and are immunocompromised? Elderly? Pregnant ? Advice please - I don't want to disappoint DS but ...!Confused

OP posts:
Inneedofaholiday2017 · 26/02/2017 09:34

Cost...

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 09:35
Sad
Guitargirl · 26/02/2017 09:35

20 quid a head? Did you say it was soft play? Shock

monkeysox · 26/02/2017 09:37

My dc got cpox when eldest was 2,5 so baby was 6 ish months. She was still bf, she started with it the day he went back to playgroup (2weeks) it was full on. She was covered in them. Was awful.

Always best to share info. You did the right thing.

welshweasel · 26/02/2017 09:38

Yep money. The WHO actually recommend CP vaccination so it's strange that the NHS disagree, they usually go with WHO advice on such things. However now the MMRV vaccine is in widespread use (and doesn't seem much more expensive than MMR) I suspect the NHS will come on board reasonably soon.

We've just vaccinated DS (£85) FWIW. Hope you still have enough attendees to have a good party OP.

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 09:40

welshweasel is the CP vax available in the UK? I didn't realise that.

Do the NHS disagree on cost or reliability?

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 09:41

To be clear, I mean do they publicly say that they disagree with the CP vax or do they just say that it would be too expensive?

Inneedofaholiday2017 · 26/02/2017 09:41

We also paid for a private vaccine for dd1. Baby isn't allowed it until a year I think.

Verb... yes normally mild for a baby that doesn't have health issues - mine does so at increased risk of complications and she's already sick with other things. Yes she could catch from anywhere - should we just not ever go out?! No we have to be sensible and also rely on friends doing the right thing like the op and letting us know when there is an increased risk of contracting something.

PinguForPresident · 26/02/2017 09:42

Don't even think of cancelling!

It's a massive over-reaction on the part of the person who has declined to come. Presumably they'll also be keeping their child off school tomorrow so they don't catch germs that probably aren't even there from your well child.

welshweasel · 26/02/2017 09:43

Yes they say it isn't cost effective. DS had it at the GP at the same time as MMR. Will need to go back for a booster in 6 weeks.

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 09:48

Thank you welshweasel I'll look into it.

Sorry to hijack your thread, OP. Hope your DS has a lovely day Cake

MsJuniper · 26/02/2017 10:01

This happened to a friend, she texted us all in the morning to say her dc2 had come down with cp so wouldn't be coming to dc1's party but it was up to us if we came or not. I think one person dropped out and everyone else came.

Verbena37 · 26/02/2017 10:03

pingu....it's not a massive overreaction...perhaps the child is immuno compromised or the mum is pregnant and hasn't had CP and therefore doesn't want to risk her baby being born blind etc.

INeedNewShoes · 26/02/2017 10:09

If I had a young child that was immunocompromised I don't think I would take them to soft play anyway. They are a playground for germs. I can't see how these places can clean the equipment thoroughly really and young children are fabulous for both leaving saliva/snot on things and for putting hands in their mouths etc.

As an immunocompromised adult I've been to soft play (with friends' children) but then I know to wash my hands before touching my face etc.

I would expect soft play to be full of germs so I don't think the OP should avoid the soft play just because one of her DC might be incubating CP.

womaninatightspot · 26/02/2017 10:11

I'd have the party but just do a round robin text beforehand. Chickenpox has been rife at our school/ nursery for a couple of months. It would be crazy to keep your DS off school for weeks and weeks. I always think softplay are breeding grounds for a variety of horrid diseases anyway, we might be unlucky with our local place but kids often seem to catch a tummy bug/ horrid cold. I avoid it with the exception of parties.

Letseatgrandma · 26/02/2017 10:12

I had to cancel a holiday when my son caught chicken pox from the childminders children.

But how could this have been avoided? Would you have found alternative childcare for 3 weeks?

pingu....it's not a massive overreaction...perhaps the child is immuno compromised or the mum is pregnant and hasn't had CP and therefore doesn't want to risk her baby being born blind etc.

So, will they be keeping their child off school tomorrow just in case?

yellowfrog · 26/02/2017 10:14

if you hadn't had CP as child the adult version is shingles

This is absolutely not the case. The first time you get the virus, at whatever age, it's chicken pox. The virus then stays dormant in your nerves for the rest of your life. It can re-activate at any future point (usually when your immune system is low) at which time it manifests as shingles.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 10:34

Glossolalia - I don't mind it is an interesting point- to pay for vaccine privately or not ? I personally wouldnt but no judgement here . For the record - we are going ahead with party minus the one. Guitargirl - It's 20 quid a head because it's laser tag and soft play. 8 is the minI mum for numbers /teams. That's why I could not afford more than 8 !!! X am taking eldest ds (14) to make numbers up !

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 26/02/2017 10:51

I would take some antibacterial hand wipes and alcohol hand gel and clean DS's hands regularly, just to minimise the risk of him contaminating anything, but that's me

What do you think antibacterial handwipes are going to do against a virus?

Leaving aside the fact that the DS cannot infect anyone by touch alone.

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 10:55

Curtains77 glad to hear the party is going ahead. Hope your youngest is better soon.

dementedpixie · 26/02/2017 10:57

Chicken pox is airborne so antibacterial wipes would not help. The OPs other child would not be contagious yet anyway

Witchend · 26/02/2017 11:21

There are still questions about the Chickenpox vaccine that haven't been answered. For example, it appears at present that if you've had the jab you are more likely to have recurrent shingles. And the current thought is as a general rule that is worse than the risks from chickenpox.
That's why the NHS is not offering it routinely.

My ds thinks we should go back to quarantine regulations after reading Winter Holiday (Quarantine from mumps). He's just interested in missing school.

My dsis had chickenpox and didn't give it to me or my brother. Instead I caught it at 20yo when no one else I knew had it Confused

OneLumpOrSeven · 26/02/2017 11:22

If I kept my child off school every time there was notice up about chicken pox he would never go.

IamFriedSpam · 26/02/2017 11:26

I would let people know (in case anyone has a particular reason to want to avoid it like the plague - e.g. one of my friends has never had it so is desperate to avoid her DS catching it until she's got round to vaccinating him) but I would imagine most people would still want to come. Chicken pox isn't usually too bad in kids.

jazzmin · 26/02/2017 12:48

My childminder took a poorly boy off school as a favour to his mum. She didn't tell me until afterwards, so it could have been avoided as I would have objected with it being so close to our holiday. We stayed friends, she was sorry.