Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Urgent advice needed -AIBU to go ahead with Birthday party today ?

152 replies

Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 08:03

Middle DS is 7 today , party booked for 1130 , cake made etc etc. youngest DS (3) has developed chicken pox yesterday morning and obviously is in quarantine. So it is highly likely birthday boy is incubating it. AIBU to go ahead with his party in a soft play area knowing this is the case ? On one hand, children need to have it ideally , on the other by keeping schtum I am taking away the choice from the other childrens' families ....what if and are immunocompromised? Elderly? Pregnant ? Advice please - I don't want to disappoint DS but ...!Confused

OP posts:
TheFirstMrsDV · 26/02/2017 08:50

I suspect that GP was being less than honest to avoid any inconvenience to themselves.

All of my five have had CP at least once. I have seen several rashes that look like they might be CP but don't develop into it but I have never seen a CP rash and not known it was CP.

Glowbug59 · 26/02/2017 08:53

Absolutely have the party, have a great time and hope your younger DS doesn't suffer too badly. My DD3 is just getting over it and her brother (8) has continued life as normal.

Screwinthetuna · 26/02/2017 08:54

Of course go ahead, your DS probably isn't even infectious for a week or two

MrsRhubarb · 26/02/2017 08:55

I think you should let parents know so they can decide if they still come. Presumably if no spots he will be at school with most of them tomorrow anyway which they have no choice about.

WeAreEternal · 26/02/2017 08:55

Chances are your child is not yet infected or contagious, but as long as you give the parents the choice you'll be fine.

I would take some antibacterial hand wipes and alcohol hand gel and clean DS's hands regularly, just to minimise the risk of him contaminating anything, but that's me.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 08:58

Ok update - one has cancelled , one is still coming and still waiting to hear from other 5 .... x great idea weareeternal - going to do that too !

OP posts:
chaplin1409 · 26/02/2017 08:58

Hope your son has a great party. As many have said he may not even get it and it could be a while before spots develop.
When mine got chicken pox I still had to carry on doing the school run and food shopping so had to take them out into the public.

Marcipex · 26/02/2017 08:58

MrsDV I don't think that was the case.
I don't know why he would say it if it wasn't true, but it wasn't because we were asking him to keep his child off nursery. A younger child was at home (very close by) with the nanny anyway.

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 09:01

Glad you have given the other parents the choice, OP.

londonrach · 26/02/2017 09:02

Have a great party. Happy birthday op ds x

Guitargirl · 26/02/2017 09:03

A similar thing happened to us a few years ago. Except that our party was at home and DS who was the chicken poxy child was actually going to be at the party - not just his non poxy sibling. DS was well with it but very spotty.

I phoned all the parents of the 7 children beforehand and they all decided to send their children anyway - mainly because they'd all already had it. One hadn't, came to the party but didn't catch it (although DD got it 2 weeks later).

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 09:03

When mine got chicken pox I still had to carry on doing the school run and food shopping so had to take them out into the public.

Couldn't you have done the food shop online?

sandgrown · 26/02/2017 09:04

My son developed chicken pox just days before his sister's wedding. All family and close friends attending wedding so nobody really to leave him with. We notified everybody but the only person who was pregnant was the hairdresser who went to the hospital to get her immunity checked and was fine. We later found out about someone else who had been pregnant but took the risk rather than reveal the pregnancy. Everything was fine . I would say just warn everyone then go ahead with the party

Verbena37 · 26/02/2017 09:11

inneedofaholiday but babies in the Uk aren't regularly vaxxed for chicken pox Hmm so your baby could catch it anywhere, at any time. Yes not ideal for very tiny newborn but a baby of a few months would generally be ok. In fact, if they're being breastfed, it's unlikely to be full on anyway. My DS has chicken pox twice....once as a breastfed baby, when dd (3) had it but very very pale spots and only a couple and then again as an older toddler, when he caught it properly from preschool.

Ineke · 26/02/2017 09:19

You seem to have a good plan in hand. Bring loads of anti bac. But also think of adults and what about yourself? If you hadn't had CP as a child the adult version is Shingles which is quite awful and debilitating and takes a long long time to recover from.

OneLumpOrSeven · 26/02/2017 09:20

Do people really keep the well siblings of ill children off school?

No. It can take up to three weeks to appear. Would you keep your child off for three weeks on the basis they might come out in spots?

DS still went to school when my other dc had chicken pox. Don't cancel.

OneLumpOrSeven · 26/02/2017 09:24

If you hadn't had CP as a child the adult version is Shingles which is quite awful

No it isn't. Shingles is the dormant chicken pox virus reactivating itself in the form of shingles which you can only have if you've had chicken pox already.

You can catch the pox from shingles but you can't catch shingles.

Guitargirl · 26/02/2017 09:26

if you hadn't had CP as child the adult version is shingles - I don't think that's right

allowlsthinkalot · 26/02/2017 09:27

As long as you don't take the sibling. People don't keep children home when a sibling is ill just in case they're infectious. You'd send him to school?

Allthewaves · 26/02/2017 09:27

Go for it. iv three kids and they never caught it off each other - all three had it months and months apart

TheFirstMrsDV · 26/02/2017 09:30

Of course people HAVE to come on and start minimising CP.
yeah fine, a newborn with CP, it'll be grand probably

Fingers crossed though, just in case.

Bovneydazzlers · 26/02/2017 09:30

He is very unlikely to be infectious yet.

You'll be sending him to school tomorrow and mingling with children there so what's different for a party.

Just go ahead!

Original poster
Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 09:32

allowlsthinkalot - exactly. And Allthewaves - good point - I am assuming he is incubating it when actually he may well not be! Part of the plan of texting is that the parents can decide on the risk for themselves. Such helpful advice from all. Still haven not heard back from the other 5 . Am hoping the venue are kind enought to not charge for missing ones as I could only afford the minimum numbers anyway - at 20 quid a head ! That's why only 7 are invited !

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 26/02/2017 09:33

You can only get shingles if you have had chicken pox in the past. My ds had chicken pox at 6 months and shingles age 3

Glossolalia · 26/02/2017 09:33

Does anyone know why we (as in the UK) do not vax against CP?