Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Urgent advice needed -AIBU to go ahead with Birthday party today ?

152 replies

Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 08:03

Middle DS is 7 today , party booked for 1130 , cake made etc etc. youngest DS (3) has developed chicken pox yesterday morning and obviously is in quarantine. So it is highly likely birthday boy is incubating it. AIBU to go ahead with his party in a soft play area knowing this is the case ? On one hand, children need to have it ideally , on the other by keeping schtum I am taking away the choice from the other childrens' families ....what if and are immunocompromised? Elderly? Pregnant ? Advice please - I don't want to disappoint DS but ...!Confused

OP posts:
TheFirstMrsDV · 26/02/2017 08:26

I nearly always turn up on CP threads because of personal experience.
I have very, very strong opinions on taking infectious children out, chickenpox parties etc.

But in your case I don't think you need to cancel the party.
You absolutely DO need to let people know the situation.

Well done for keeping your little one at home. Thank you.

Can you do a text to let people know that you have CP in the house, DS isn't ill but you thought they would want to know he has been in contact with CP.

If I would be happy with that I am will to bet most people would.
I am the sort of person who would tell someone with a CPy child to leave a public place.

Unapologetically.

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 26/02/2017 08:26

I'd go ahead.

I was told by HCP to carry on as normal until child shows symptoms. This was after my ds had been closely exposed to a child who came out with CP 12hours later. My ds did not catch it.

Fast forward a few years, I took ds swimming one day and then for lunch with group of friends with their dc. My ds came out in CP that eve. Not one of the children he'd been playing with 6-8 hours earlier caught it.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 08:27

Yes mrspeely - I am a bit of an overthinker. Never been in this situation before but when you think about the risks - it makes your head burn !!!

OP posts:
Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 26/02/2017 08:27

The NHS says
The symptoms of chickenpox start one to three weeks after becoming infected.

Which fits in with your little ones nursery. You SHOULD tell everyone before they arrive at the very least.

NataliaOsipova · 26/02/2017 08:28

Just text round the other parents and say "Just to let you know - DS3 came down with chicken pox yesterday. He obviously won't be at the party, but thought I should let you know." Job done. Anyone worried can google/look at the NHS website. But I think school will take a dim view of keeping DS2 off because his brother is ill - and potentially you'd have to keep him off for 3 weeks to be sure he hadn't caught it - so the other families are likely to be exposed that way in any case....

Original poster
Curtains77 · 26/02/2017 08:29

Thanks everyone for your honest opinions and taking time to write I really appreciate it x going off to text now but will return and let u know what happens. X

OP posts:
SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 26/02/2017 08:29

Yep, go ahead but tell them up front. I think that's absolutely fine.

DS was exposed to chicken pox loads of times while at nursery but didn't catch it until he was about 7yo. DD caught it at 10mo, no idea where from. You can't predict when they'll catch it.

Marcipex · 26/02/2017 08:30

Fwiw I work in a nursery and recently asked a parent who is a GP if his child had had chicken pox.
He replied that he wasn't sure as so many viruses look like chicken pox anyway.

So how can anyone be sure what the rash is? I don't know the answer.

Surely anyone who is immunocomprised would keep away from soft play.

Whatsername17 · 26/02/2017 08:30

I think you have to give people the choice to stay away.

dailystuck71 · 26/02/2017 08:32

Hi OP. I'd go ahead but agree that you've done the best thing my texting other parents first.

My DS is vaccinated after spending younger years in Australia.

SofiaAmes · 26/02/2017 08:33

Marcipex, seriously? Wouldn't want that gp looking after my child. Chicken Pox is quite distinctive and if the gp can't tell the difference....very worrying.

Inneedofaholiday2017 · 26/02/2017 08:34

'Anyone who is immunocompronused would keep away from soft play'

Er right - so my baby has health issues - does that mean my 3 year should never get to go to a birthday party!

No, people who are ILL should keep away from soft play and all public places. Someone took their child to a public place knowing they were ill and my baby caught the illnesses and suffered a serious illness which saw her on life support for a week. It makes my blood boil how selfish people can be taking sick children out about just so they can have a coffee with their friends.

TheFirstMrsDV · 26/02/2017 08:34

It depends on the level of vulnerability Marcipex

If you had zero neutrophils you would stay in/keep your child in.
If you had a chronic vulnerability you would not want to keep your child or yourself under house arrest.
Which is why the general public need to take their heads out of their arses wrt to infectious conditions.

MrsPeelyWaly · 26/02/2017 08:35

Yes mrspeely - I am a bit of an overthinker. Never been in this situation before but when you think about the risks - it makes your head burn !!!

I understand. Really. Please just try to relax a wee bit and enjoy the day.

Pleasestoplickingthetv · 26/02/2017 08:36

Curtains
Hope I wasn't too harsh, it just hits a bit of a nerve with me when people say they are best to get it now etc.
Whatever you do, hope your DS has a lovely day.

JugglingMuggle · 26/02/2017 08:36

I would go ahead. Your son is not contagious yet. But I would text everyone with all information so they have the choice anyway.

TheFirstMrsDV · 26/02/2017 08:37

YY to CP being distinctive.
It might not be in the first few hours but once it comes up its obvious.
What other common illness has a raised rash with pus?

GirlElephant · 26/02/2017 08:38

OP I hope some/all of the kids are presents & the party goes well Smile. Also wishing a quick recovery to your other child

Marcipex · 26/02/2017 08:38

SofiaAmes yes, that is definitely what he said.
I thought the blister rash was distinctively Chicken Pox but apparently it's not.

Neolara · 26/02/2017 08:41

We were on holiday for a week with my neice who developed chicken pox on day 1. Neither on my dcs caught it. They were in contact with chicken poxy friends on at least three other occasions without getting it. When the finally caught it, I had no idea where the infection came from. Putting your kids into quarantine every time your dcs come into contact with CP is just not practical.

dementedpixie · 26/02/2017 08:41

Keep poxy child at home. Let your other ds have his party but message other parents to let them know. It was 15 days between dd and ds getting it

BillyButtfuck · 26/02/2017 08:42

I agree with above, given a text and let them each make an informed decision.

NataliaOsipova · 26/02/2017 08:44

No, people who are ILL should keep away from soft play and all public places.

Absolutely- no arguments from me on that one. But the OP's DS2 (the birthday boy) isn't ill. The child who is is being kept at home.

A lot of things are passed on before the carriers know they are actually ill. It's a fact of life. So, very sadly, if you are immunocompromised it probably does mean that you/your child has to stay away from soft play. Just the way kids are when they play together means that germs get spread - there's no way around it with schools, but soft play must be about the worst!

Marcipex · 26/02/2017 08:45

MrsDV according to this GP, other viral rashes look the same.

I don't know which/who is correct. But the general public can't find out what they should do, if they ask their GP but still get wrong information.
'I asked the doctor' is what they will say.

londonrach · 26/02/2017 08:48

Have the party BUT tell the parents before

Swipe left for the next trending thread