AIBU to not tell the parents that he's been putting a bit of pressure on her?

[ShallITellThem]

Friends of 14yo DD. They've been 'going out' for some months. Very innocent, afaik. Girl is 13 (and a half), very innocent. Boy is just 15. He's a lovely lad.

DD told me that their texting had ramped up a bit and he asked a couple of inappropriate questions (which she didn't answer), one of which being had she ever 'sent a picture to anyone of her in her underwear?'. The girl felt very uncomfortable. They then were doing a text message 'truth or dare' and the girl felt that the boy was trying to coaxe her into a 'dare' situation whereby she disclosed quite intimate details about herself.

Girl is very uncomfortable, but insistent that she doesn't want to tell parents (which is what DD advised). DD pointed out that she should be able to firmly draw boundaries about what she's comfortable with. Girl said she didn't want to be 'not polite'.

I've given advice to DD, and feel that if I interfered by telling either mum (both of whom I know well), I might do more harm than good, regarding trust of my DD to confide in me, and girl's trust in DD to keep a confidence. I'd rather she told me this stuff so I knew what was going on.

AIBU?

My DD is the same age. I wouldn't expect anyone to tell me if she were dating someone - presumably if they were meeting up outside of school I'd know. If they're only seeing each other in school it wouldn't matter too much.

But I would want to know the moment things crossed a line (getting too serious, any pressure etc) so I think you chose the right moment to step in.

It's probably much clearer to an impartial stranger who's outside of the situation, OP....when you're entangled in it and want to consider your child's privacy and so on, I can see why it wouldn't look so clear cut.

You've absolutely done the right thing, it's a serious issue that needs to be nipped in the bud. If a boy is ready to want to look at naked girls, he's ready to learn about consent and legality and be firmly corrected if he's not getting it. Especially if he's even trying to hide the existence of the relationship from the grown ups. He's sounding less and less like a "lovely lad", I'm afraid.

If a bunch of hysterics want to screech about that being misandrist or unbecoming for the mother of a son, or whatever the fuck else bollocks I've heard on this thread, so be it. Child sexual safety is paramount.

Its not a matter of normalising it, it is what happens in secondary schools!

This is normalising it!