Transing a 4 year old

[ShadowChancellor]

On Monday, all the children at my kids school were taught about being transgender because the parent of a reception kid have decided that X is actually Y and are now sending their kid in as the opposite sex and have changed their name.

According to my kid they were shown a video that was all about how if you were a boy and liked girl things and girl clothes you were a girl and it was all very positive.

No parents were told before this happened. We only found out when the kids came out of school on Monday and told us.

AIBU to a) think that transing a kid at 4 years old is more to do with the parents not liking the fact that their kid prefers girls toys to boys toys and b) that the other parents should've been told before they showed our kids this film and promoted it all in school.

Its caused a lot of confusion with the younger kids who think you can change whether you are a boy or girl just by wishing it and didn't mention at all all of the problems that it can cause.

Form the 'video' (slideshow): "boys toys such as cars, trucks, trains"

I call BULLSHIT

I agree with pp about law suits. We need to sue when schools and LAs promote sexist ideology.

Since when are cars boys toys then? The logical next argument is that women shouldn't drive cars because motor vehicles are men's stuff?

Gender stereotyping not only suits big pharma but also companies selling stuff tat. Toys marketed at girls are generally more expensive. Is it all a social experiment? Research for AI? We need to question why this trend is taking hold. It's sinister.

Regarding twins having (or not) identical brains, do people realise that homosexuality is only 60% common between identical twins?

So if you take this as evidence that you aren't 'born' trans, then it is also evidence that you aren't 'born' homo- or hetero- sexual.

FWIW I believe the science on both these, you aren't born trans and you aren't born with a specified sexuality. You end up with one due to a combination of nature and nurture.

link between autism and trans is interesting. can anyone pint to reliable research?

Form the 'video' (slideshow): "boys toys such as cars, trucks, trains"

I don't care what the message of the video is, but any video shown to children that says this is rampant sexist bullshit.

I would sidestep the whole trans issue and be down the school like a shot asking why they are perpetuating sexist myths and stereotyping to children.

Morphene FFS! Just go and take a running jump you insulting pillock!

Homosexuality is the truthful lived experience of being sexually orientated towards the same sex. There is no sense of needing to chqnge oneself in order to become homosexual. Gender is a social construct and therefore 'transgender' is predicated upon this social construct and therefore not an innate characteristic- in fact not a 'thing' at all

Omg that poor child! To think a parent is that desperate for attention they are doing this to their innocent four year old. So sick... :(

It isn't the schools fault.

They have to do this now.

If you are going to target anyone it needs to be higher up.

My child has happily been using accessible facilities for years. The school are now pushing for my child to use facilities of the sex they present as so they can tick the 'inclusive' box on their forms.

It really isn't down to the individual schools anymore.

Can anyone explain why, when faced with someone who says they are the wrong sex and are in the body, why that person is indulged (for want of a better word) as opposed to it being seen as a type of body dysmorphia and offered help and treatment for body dysmorphia?

In the wrong body, that should say

Can anyone explain why, when faced with someone who says they are the wrong sex and are in the body, why that person is indulged (for want of a better word) as opposed to it being seen as a type of body dysmorphia and offered help and treatment for body dysmorphia?

I firmly believe my child has body dysmorphia. I have tried and tried to get help. The help we were offered was blockers. I refused them hoping for an approach towards my child's mental health instead. I was more or less told that blockers are the 'cure' my child had their quota of mental health help and there was nothing more they can do for us since we refused the 'cure'.

It's bloody hard being a parent in this position and I fully understand how easy it is to go down the road of blockers etc when any other sort of help is being denied and your child is distressed.

Thank you Fish I appreciate you explaining that to me. Though I'm deeply shocked by the 'help' you e been offered 😖

It sounds unbelievably tough

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers you sound like an amazing person. Best of luck.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a letter to my kids school, explaining why I choose for my children to opt out of any discussions which discuss this ideology of gender, and transgender as fact.

I included lots of links to the relevant sources, I was kind.

I have yet to hear back, but I believe I have a right to do this. They may have me down as a massive TERF, but I don't care. My kids are too important to me to have them brainwashed by this gender stereotype/identity trend.

I apologise for not reading full thread.

I have a couple of things to add.

Firstly, the only person I have known who has wanted to transition was a child I worked with, with asd.

At age 8 he was utterly convinced he needed to be a girl and had heard you could change.

He refused to do football till I showed him the women's football team. He was obsessed with Hannah Montana, pink things and long hair.

As a teen he decided (as far as I can tell with specialist support) he was happy to be a boy, might be gay and definitely wanted to be a fashion designer.

In the I am lily video, I did notice the age 2 pictures were very 'male' in dress etc.

Gender division is the issue, not the child!

Secondly, as I child, we played ruth a boy who loved the home corner. One day, he was sobbing as boys or someone had said he couldn't as he was a boy. He wanted to be a girl. I gave him a big kiss and told him I couldn't do that if he was a boy and not to be so silly - we needed a daddy in the home corner!

This has not been properly looked at or weighed up. Showing children this video is appalling but sadly I fear is going to become the norm in schools.

This charity is fantastic though I fear will begin to lead the trans children wave due to this book.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2017/jan/02/book-explaining-gender-diversity-to-primary-school-children-sparks-furore

To add - child in home corner was delighted and got in with playing in the home corner.

joystir wtf? I am just telling you the science, that identical twins only share sexual orientation 60% of the time. I'm not saying anything else, or comparing trans gender to sexual orientation.

Ragamuffin - I would just say, for god's sake don't go anywhere near Mermaids.

There are many more differences between individuals than there are between men and women.

Brains are shaped through hormonal changes ( biology )and by experience.

There is no 'lady brain.' There are individuals shaped by hormones, biology and experience.

Transitioning a four year old is nuts and telling children they can choose whether they are a girl or boy is just magical thinking.

It's horrifying that schools are pushing this - it's taking equality back by miles and making gender stereotypes rigidly embedded. I would be furious if my kids were shown that video.

I thought it was pretty much widely accepted that monosexualism is not an entirely innate behaviour?

As I've heard it, the reason the "born that way" theory ran away with itself was to oppose the American right.

@lifeissweet

• I have encountered lots of gender-stereotype non-conformist 4 year olds in my time. It is normal - and actually a really valuable teaching point. 'Yes. This boy, x, likes to wear the fairy dress from the dressing up box every day (he used the tantrum at the end of the day when he had to take it off) and that's great, isn't it? Great that he likes something so much - and boys can like whatever they want and wear whatever they like, just like girls can. All we need to do is be kind and enjoy how different we all are.'

And then on with phonics.

Oh - and, that boy is now at secondary school. He is gay. Not a girl. Just gay. And that worries me too - why are gay young people losing out on the message that they can love whoever they like, be whoever they like and enjoy whatever they like - but are instead convinced that they have to be a woman instead? It's backwards.*

Ah, yes similar scenario to my experience.

OP - Please consider sending a formal letter to the school, at the very least. Maybe get a couple of parents to sign it with you. Someone needs to start pushing back, if only a little.

I would write it along the lines of:

Following the video you showed our 4-year-old children where a young boy was said to be a girl because he likes princesses and dressing up, we are deeply concerned that your administration appears to believe that it is acceptable to present shockingly age-inappropriate, sexist, and scientifically dubious concepts to our children.

We are concerned that the school we trust our children with is teaching them sexist ideas that boys must be interested in "boy toys" like trucks and any child interested in princesses must be a girl. We hereby request a meeting to discuss the implications of the above, with a view to establish the boundaries of acceptable guidance by your administration on these issues to our 4-year-old children, especially without any warning to or consent from parents.

Though I'm deeply shocked by the 'help' you e been offered

Yes, it's appalling that Fish is only entitled to any more help if she puts her child on puberty blockers, which are far from harmless/risk free and reversible as pointed out.

Beyond I think that the LBG community had to trump up and over hype all the genetic angles to be accepted, rather than blamed or 'cured'. I think we are mostly grown up enough now to say there is significant impact of nurture and even some choice going on in there.

The transactivists seem to be attempting the same road by implying people can be born thinking they are a girl when they are physiologically male. I don't think there is any evidence whatsoever that this is true though.

I have no problem whatsoever with someone living as the opposite gender (whatever that means to them), but it should be admitted that this is a nature/nurture/choice issue, and not a purely genetic one.