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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Parking, assaulted. AIBU to report to police?

410 replies

newnamenew · 23/02/2017 17:33

Car parked in disabled spot. Only disabled bay on site. I politely pull up alongside and down my window. Person does same. I ask if they are disabled, they reply no, I ask if she would please move as I use a wheelchair and really need the spit.

I'm to,d I'm arrogant and she was refusing to move due to my attitude. So I park alongside. She'd parked, if you imagine an inverse T shape, she would be the I part. She had a car parker behind her but room behind. So I parked I. The T of the inverse T. I got my wheelchair out and displayed my disabled badge. Person 2 comes and asks me what the fuck I'm doing and to move my fucking car. Goes into my car and takes my disabled badge saying I wasn't disabled anymore and goes to their car. I start wheeling to the shop, comes up behind me, drags me back towards my car by the back of the seat. It tilts, back at my car, chair still tilted hits me in the back, tries to get in my car again, puts finger in my face saying I give disabled people a bad name.

I go into shop, came out to find badge on back of car wiper thingy and they'd gone. Should I go to the police? Was I bring unreasonable not to move my car to give them move room to exit the disabled spot (mind they exited the spot anyway)?

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/02/2017 21:40

Of course you're entitled to your own opinions Jeep. One thing you're not entitled to are your own facts.

RedSauce · 23/02/2017 21:41

"I never once called anyone names buddy"

....

"No this isn't a playground little boy"

Oddly enough I don't think PoorYorick actually called you a name at any point. Hmm

PoorYorick · 23/02/2017 21:43

In case anyone's got a slow connection:

Parking, assaulted. AIBU to report to police?
winewolfhowls · 23/02/2017 21:44

Hope your nerves have settled op and I do hope your confidence is not too battered. Your dd is very quick thinking to get a photo of the plate, well done that gal!

wowfudge · 23/02/2017 21:46

I am aghast that a pp thinks physical abuse is never okay. What about other types of abuse? No abuse is ever okay. OP I hope you have reported these thugs to the police and that there is CCTV evidence against them.

wowfudge · 23/02/2017 21:47

Thinks only physical abuse is never okay

PoorYorick · 23/02/2017 21:49

If someone states that physical abuse isn't ok, I don't read that as implying that other types are.

MNHQ
CarolineMumsnet · 23/02/2017 22:02

Hi there. Thanks for all the reports. We understand why this topic might cause emotions to run high. If you are feeling het up, please feel free to step away from the thread for a while. Otherwise, please can we ask that you keep in mind peace, love and talk guidelines when posting here.

clickershed · 23/02/2017 22:11

OP I hope that karma plays a part in this. Who do some people think they are?

RandomMess · 23/02/2017 22:12

I can't believe there is such outrage from some people that op asked if they were disabled Shock

I will sometimes wait (ie not park) in a disabled space if there are no other free fully ready to move if someone needs the spot, how is it unreasonable or offensive to merely ask if you can have the spot you are entitled to use! As for their physical attack on the op, regardless of whether she started an argument or not it is just utterly awful. Talk about picking on someone who was defenceless!

Original poster
newnamenew · 23/02/2017 22:12

Wow I step away for a while and come back to a few posters saying I'm embellishing, not giving the full story and am a liar. Really?

You're not getting certain salient points as it would identify me.

In my daily life it's hard enough functioning as is, I have nothing to gain from abusive conversations. I asked a simple, polite question. The woman was sat in the car, with the engine off. Her partner was in the shop. I don't see what is wrong with asking a polite question - a reply of yes I'm disabled would have seen me say thank you and going home. Instead she, not I, inflamed the situation but saying no I'm not with a grin on her face, and saying she would not move due to my attitude.

I get into my wheelchair by my passenger taking it out of the boot and brining it to the drivers side so I can transfer. Not sure why this is relevant.

I didn't block her in, a point proven by them leaving whilst I was on the way to store reception to detail the assault and question CCTV.

It's almost as though some think I deserved the shit the woman gave me and the aggressive approach the man took. You do realise that disablist attacks are on the rise, right? These aren't edge-cases anymore.

The police are visiting tomorrow. I hope there's enough to charge and I fully intend to push this to court level.

Thank you for all the support shown. I'm not a troll. I'm too upset, and sore, to even consider making a troll thread about something like this.

OP posts:
teresa2003 · 23/02/2017 22:12

Hi Elvis - as if l would!! He didn't say only physical abuse is unacceptable it was a stand alone statement as l read it.

PoorYorick · 23/02/2017 22:13

I assumed that OP asked if the driver was disabled because so many people who aren't do use those spaces...as in this very case.

PurpleDaisies · 23/02/2017 22:14

I will sometimes wait (ie not park) in a disabled space if there are no other free fully ready to move if someone needs the spot, how is it unreasonable or offensive to merely ask if you can have the spot you are entitled to use?

How is someone who needs a blue badge space supposed to know you're just waiting and not parked there? Confused

TinklyLittleLaugh · 23/02/2017 22:16

Random. I think waiting in the space when you don't have a badge is totally out of order actually. Many disabled people will be too intimidated to ask you to move in case you are someone like the person the OP encountered today. Don't go in the space unless you are disabled.

jollyjester · 23/02/2017 22:18

newname I hope you are ok.

Try and rest tonight and write down as many of the facts as you can before the police visit.

FlowersCakeBrew

BiscuitMillionaire · 23/02/2017 22:34

Flowers OP. I hope the police catch them.

flippinada · 23/02/2017 22:34

Take care of yourself newname. There are some awful people about and I'm sorry you had the misfortune of coming across them.

I hope you get what you're looking for from the police tomorrow. If there's any justice then they should be charged. I hope you can get some rest tonight Flowers.

RandomMess · 23/02/2017 22:43

Tinkly - I'll just block the road around the car park or drive around for 1-15 minutes in continuous circles waiting to collect child then just in case someone wants to use the university sports centre 9pm at night...

I wouldn't wait to be asked, I tend to half perch on a space - very obviously not parked and there are usually 5 disabled spaces free at the time!

PurpleDaisies · 23/02/2017 22:46

random you're still in a blue badge space without a blue badge. It's difficult to find anywhere to park or the fact that the spaces aren't all full are really poor excuses.

StarryIllusion · 23/02/2017 22:56

Make sure the police request CCTV and well done to your daughter for the photo. Nail the bastard on every charge you can. Cunt deserves to be taken out and shot.

Op do you mind if I ask you a question? Always wondered but not really ever been able to ask. If you don't have anyone with you, like say a single person living alone, how DO you get from the car into the wheelchair? And get it out, unfolded etc? I assume most people who need one wouldn't be up to manhandling it so how do they manage? Do motability cars have a special adaption of some kind?

BurningBridges · 23/02/2017 23:25

My lovely best friend was paralysed 4 years ago and was introduced to a whole new world of prejudice and hate. Her experiences of being abused in hospital, whilst trying to work, cross the road, use a bus etc were so outrageous even my DH said he didn't believe her - not surprising when you see some of the posters on here tonight. And she was a world class diffuser, she could turn any situation into a "laugh and joke" but she was beaten by it all. She wrote a book about her experiences but died recently before it could be published. After all the things that happened to her, she'd certainly believe you newname, in fact I am not sure she would have been at all surprised.

BridgeRiverTower · 23/02/2017 23:30

Oh how awful, burning. I'm so sad to hear that, so very very sad and tragic.

Sorry for your loss. Flowers

Lynnm63 · 23/02/2017 23:32

It boils my piss when able bodied people park in a disabled bay for "just a minute". The disabled bays are near the cash points at my local supermarket the entitled twats park there all the time. I'd live to be fit enough again to walk 100 yards across the car park. I'd give my blue badge back in a heartbeat for lungs that fucking work. Idk they're going to be just a minute. If there's no space I have to go home end of.

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 23/02/2017 23:35

what a vile thing to happen, I really hope they catch this arsehole and he is put away

OP I hope you manage to get a decent nights sleep

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