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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parking, assaulted. AIBU to report to police?

410 replies

newnamenew · 23/02/2017 17:33

Car parked in disabled spot. Only disabled bay on site. I politely pull up alongside and down my window. Person does same. I ask if they are disabled, they reply no, I ask if she would please move as I use a wheelchair and really need the spit.

I'm to,d I'm arrogant and she was refusing to move due to my attitude. So I park alongside. She'd parked, if you imagine an inverse T shape, she would be the I part. She had a car parker behind her but room behind. So I parked I. The T of the inverse T. I got my wheelchair out and displayed my disabled badge. Person 2 comes and asks me what the fuck I'm doing and to move my fucking car. Goes into my car and takes my disabled badge saying I wasn't disabled anymore and goes to their car. I start wheeling to the shop, comes up behind me, drags me back towards my car by the back of the seat. It tilts, back at my car, chair still tilted hits me in the back, tries to get in my car again, puts finger in my face saying I give disabled people a bad name.

I go into shop, came out to find badge on back of car wiper thingy and they'd gone. Should I go to the police? Was I bring unreasonable not to move my car to give them move room to exit the disabled spot (mind they exited the spot anyway)?

OP posts:

Dawndonnaagain · 23/02/2017 20:29

fuck me there are some arses about tonight.

OnionKnight · 23/02/2017 20:30

But OP you did say that it wasn't the type of car a disabled person would drive, I have Cerebral Palsy and I've owned s Porsche 911 in the past so I wasn't aware there was a 'type'

ALemonyPea · 23/02/2017 20:30

Sorry this has happened to you Op.

I've been pulled up a couple of times when I park in a BB at my local Tesco, as I get out the car and sprint towards the entrance. I'm getting a wheelchair for my SIL though, and the people usually apologise afterwards when they realise.

Next time, if there is one, I'd ask the person if they needed the spot, rather than if they're disabled.

RedSauce · 23/02/2017 20:31

I'm with Teresa on this one as a disabled person

How are you with Teresa? She is complaining about OP asking whether the other person was a blue badge holder, something you later admit to doing regularly ("where I've flashed my blue badge and pulled a query face")... So you're very much not with Teresa on this one.

teresa2003 · 23/02/2017 20:31

Thank you Onion even though begrudgingly l just see it that whichever way you look at you're basically asking them if they're being a selfish Twat if you ask them that
@ Elvis - thank God you turned up

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:31

OP you said that the woman said you were rude so she wasn't going to move.

Life is so much easier if you smile and be nice. As I said I've never had anyone not move, lucky me some will say.

To appear to block them in, tensions rise...

Not to excuse the physical aspect. Totally out of order.

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:35

Teresa RedSauce says we can't hold hands on the pyre. I'm feeling sad now. I flash my badge, query face, they flash badge back, all is good. I don't go on to ask 20 questions about their medical history, not my business. They have a badge, I can't say to Teresa, well it's only Cystic Fibrosis, I'm in a wheelchair. A badge is a badge, not given out quickly.

Original poster

newnamenew · 23/02/2017 20:35

Fucking hell.

Teresa, if I blocked them in, how were they able to make an exit whilst I was on the way to the shop (for a second time).

How is it inflammatory to ask someone politely if they are disabled or not? The car park was rather full, as car parks for this kind of shop often are. If she had been disabled I would have apologised for the inconvenience and gone home, as no disabled spot = no shop for me.

Elvish, I've been disabled for over a decade and in a wheelchair for 7. This is the first time I have experienced any kind of physical confrontation, although there are plenty who make verbal comments. It doesn't mean disabled people suffer an immense amount of persecution, and indeed, hate crime.

Clearly I've omitted certain details from my posts, including type of shop and full details as it would identify me. I'm actually concerned I, and the incident concerned, could be identified. I don't want to have the thread removed as I want it visible in case anyone. In the future comes across this kind of crap

OP posts:

witsender · 23/02/2017 20:36

I'm amazed that you even wondered if this was a crime, and didn't phone it in straight away...It's such an obvious crime. Especially if your daughter witnessed it and took a photo of their plate. Do you ask everyone in a disabled bay if they are disabled? It just seems a provocative question to ask if you had just arrived and had no reason to suspect that they weren't before then IYSWIM.

Dawndonnaagain · 23/02/2017 20:36

But Elvish just because the woman complained about OP's attitude, doesn't mean that OP did have an attitude or was rude. She said she asked politely.

OverthinkingSpartacus · 23/02/2017 20:37

It takes a special kind of cunt to attack a woman in a wheelchair who can't defend herself. Men like him should be locked up.

I can't imagine how scared it must have been for you OP, it being a rare thing to happen doesnt make it any less frightening or worrying. I hope your injuries heal quickly and that the police prosecute him.

Dawndonnaagain · 23/02/2017 20:37

Interesting. Elvish and Teresa have only been here ten minutes...

Welcome to Mumsnet, folks.

TheFairyCaravan · 23/02/2017 20:38

I flash my badge, query face, they flash badge back, all is good. I don't go on to ask 20 questions about their medical history, not my business*

The OP only asked if they were disabled, she didn't ask for a detailed medical history either. Unless you were there and you know something different Elvish?

Megatherium · 23/02/2017 20:39

If someone is parked in a disabled space without showing a blue badge, how on earth is it unreasonable to ask politely whether they're entitled to be in that space? It's not as if OP instantly assumed they couldn't be disabled and started hurling abuse at them.

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:40

OnionKnight you can't possibly be disabled with that car, because there isn't them adaptations that they can do to make life easier. You should know from your 'Now your disabled' book, I'm guessing your mother was given it, you have to get a total monster of a vehicle on Motability.

They definitely don't have coupés on Motability - oh wait... Was that a Mini Sport my fellow paralysed friend has. I believe it was.

OnionKnight · 23/02/2017 20:40

Pigflewpast · 23/02/2017 20:41

Elvis where the hell does OP say she asked 100 questions about there disability?! You flash a badge and pull a face, she was actually more polite than that and asked politely if they needed that space, rather than flashing a badge. Stop making up things that haven't been said. I can't understand why, when this could have just as easily happened to you when you flashed a badge, you are bring so bloody rude to the OP.

Pigflewpast · 23/02/2017 20:42

*their

Pigflewpast · 23/02/2017 20:43

*being

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 23/02/2017 20:44

Technically this is a parking thread.

Therefore a diagram is required OP!

GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 23/02/2017 20:45

Nothing inflammatory about asking someone parked Ina blue badge bay without displaying a badge "Are you disabled?". No worse than asking any driver parked in a bay "Are you leaving?" It's hardly as if she asked for details of a disability, or was sceptical about a disability.

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:47

Elvish has merely name changed.

OP I honestly feel for you, but I can hand on heart say this is a very rare occurrence. Until now I've never encountered such a situation. So I assure you it's unlikely you'll be in the same predicament. The man had no right to lay a finger on you.

At the same time I believe in making life easy for myself. So we would have done different things.

I don't believe we live in a disablist country. People quite often feel awkward, they catch your eye, they bluster at what they say. Have a laugh with them. It irks me that people get so uptight about staring and what have you. Take the stance they're staring because you're gorgeous. Makes you feel loads better.

Littleballerina · 23/02/2017 20:47

newnamenew, I hope the police are able to do something. It's shocking!

bunnylove99 · 23/02/2017 20:48

I don't think it was off for the OP to politely ask the people in the space if they were blue badge holders. They weren't and they shouldn't have been parked there. The OP is probably well used to people parking in disabled bays who shouldn't be. People do it all the time. She wasn't asking them about their condition or medical history - she was only trying to establish if they had the right to park in the only disabled bay there was.
I can't believe the nasty responses you have had on here from people who should surely have a bit more empathy and understanding.
OP I hope the police sort it out to you satisfaction

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:48

PigFlewPast that was a generic comment in relation to what Teresa said about her relation getting questioned on her disability. Glad to clear that up for you.

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