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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parking, assaulted. AIBU to report to police?

410 replies

newnamenew · 23/02/2017 17:33

Car parked in disabled spot. Only disabled bay on site. I politely pull up alongside and down my window. Person does same. I ask if they are disabled, they reply no, I ask if she would please move as I use a wheelchair and really need the spit.

I'm to,d I'm arrogant and she was refusing to move due to my attitude. So I park alongside. She'd parked, if you imagine an inverse T shape, she would be the I part. She had a car parker behind her but room behind. So I parked I. The T of the inverse T. I got my wheelchair out and displayed my disabled badge. Person 2 comes and asks me what the fuck I'm doing and to move my fucking car. Goes into my car and takes my disabled badge saying I wasn't disabled anymore and goes to their car. I start wheeling to the shop, comes up behind me, drags me back towards my car by the back of the seat. It tilts, back at my car, chair still tilted hits me in the back, tries to get in my car again, puts finger in my face saying I give disabled people a bad name.

I go into shop, came out to find badge on back of car wiper thingy and they'd gone. Should I go to the police? Was I bring unreasonable not to move my car to give them move room to exit the disabled spot (mind they exited the spot anyway)?

OP posts:
LevantineHummus · 23/02/2017 20:05

Teresa even if the OP's behaviour was inflammatory, which I don't believe it was, it doesn't excuse what happened to her.

You're missing the point totally.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 23/02/2017 20:05

teresa no one has to explain why or how they are disabled, they merely have to show a blue badge

WyldChyld · 23/02/2017 20:06

Jesus Christ, OP, I have bloody heard it all now... I am so sorry you went up against this disgusting pair! I really hope you're okay and the police get them.

WyldChyld · 23/02/2017 20:08

Teresa ODFOD. If the lady was entitled to be there she could have just gone 'oh, yes, I've got my badge'. She was a victim of hate crime. Stop blaming her.

Dawndonnaagain · 23/02/2017 20:09

teresa whichever way you look at it, you're wrong. You don't assault someone when they do something you don't like. Very simple.
As for your victim blaming, well, it's not very pleasant is it. A bit of kindness would not have gone amiss, would it.

GlassSeahorse · 23/02/2017 20:10

Oh new that's appalling. I hope they get the bastard. Best wishes Flowers.

Ignore the few twats on this thread.

TheFairyCaravan · 23/02/2017 20:11

I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP. Flowers

It's made me quite teary. I'm disabled too. Some people are such cunts they don't care about how their actions effect others. I do wish that a big, burly bloke had been walking past as that bully did that to you.

Good luck with the police. 💐

FeralBeryl · 23/02/2017 20:14

Fucking hell Shock
So sorry this happened, I'm glad you got checked over. Try to rest and not replay this over in your mind. Take it as far as humanly possible. Good on DD too! FlowersWine

GlitteryFluff · 23/02/2017 20:18

I'm glad you've reported it to the police op.
I hope you're ok Flowers

EatsShitAndLeaves · 23/02/2017 20:19

Goodness OP.

What an awful thing to happen. I don't think you did anything "wrong" or "inflammatory" at all.

Their behaviour was appalling and I have no concept as to how they think this could in any way be justified.

It was assault pure and simple and you were right to call the police.

FlowersFlowersFlowers

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:20

I'm with Teresa on this one as a disabled person.

I can't imagine a situation getting to that point solely by you parking next to them in a T.

I've actually discussed this with DH, there hasn't been a single occasion in a decade plus of disability, where I've flashed my blue badge and pulled a query face and the person hasn't moved unless they've smiled and flashed their badge, to which I mouth thank you, smile and wave.

Also if they were disabled would it have been Top Trumps to see who needed the space more?

You know this is unlikely to happen again. Its not a common occurrence unless you're one of these disabled folk who at a joke by a passerby, take offence, over smiling and having a joke with them. I love any interaction as it makes me feel like a person, not a vegetable in a wheelchair.

MrsPringles · 23/02/2017 20:20

I can't believe I'm reading this. Op I'm so sorry, some people are such arseholes, I hope the police track them down and you're on the mend soon Flowers

teresa2003 · 23/02/2017 20:22

Ah but as l say my dad is often a victim of blatant questioning of her disability or whether it's genuine or how bad it is or even demands to know what her disability is. It in turn really upsets her or really pisses her off ( depending how often it has happened that day) I have already said not exusing this mans behaviour at all. But l can see that asking a complete stranger if they are disabled and then (potentially) blocking them in is a tad provocative and l stand by that. The man took it to extremes obviously but l think it is more often than not going to at least lead to 'words' being exchanged which l'm sure the OP would like to avoid if possible.

teresa2003 · 23/02/2017 20:22

Dgd

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:23

Just to add, not victim blaming, not excusing what the man did.

I just go for a peace and harmony with man kind approach. I have to drag my wheelchair over the front passenger seat to transfer into it. So I would look for an end of the line space.

OnionKnight · 23/02/2017 20:24

I can't believe I'm typing this but apart from victim blaming Teresa does raise a good point, what would've happened if the person had a blue badge OP?

ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:24

I'm with you Teresa, can we hold hands whilst were burned in the fire to see if we're witches?

Pigflewpast · 23/02/2017 20:25

elvis just because it's never happened to you doesn't mean it can't of happened! And just because it's hopefully won't ever happen to her again doesn't mean she shouldn't report it! She has had to receive medical treatment, and she was assaulted.i really don't understand what you're saying?
OP I hope you're daughter is ok, must have been horrible for her to witness someone treat you and hurt you like this

Dawndonnaagain · 23/02/2017 20:25

Teresa a woman was attacked here. FFS get off your high horse and try a little kindness.

Dawndonnaagain · 23/02/2017 20:27

Elvish I get it all the fucking time where I live. Dd is constantly harassed because she's only 20. You're lucky. Try forwarding on some of the kindnesses you have received. Hmm

sakura06 · 23/02/2017 20:27

This is so terrible! I hope you're ok OP. Best wishes.

Original poster
newnamenew · 23/02/2017 20:27

Teresa, they weren't both sat in their car, the man was in the shop.

I fail to see what is wrong in asking? It's a very niche shop. They have one disabled spot. What is inflammatory about asking someone sat in a car with the engine off and no badge showing if they are disabled? I asked politely. It is not the type of business that attracts a huge number of disabled customers.

What would have been inflammatory is if I'd queried disability pointing to the kind of car they were driving. It was a polite question, that is all, nothing inflammatory about my request.

OP posts:
ElvishArchdruid · 23/02/2017 20:28

OnionKnight (great name) exactly, if the person was disabled would you have returned home as there was no viable option of you getting out?

How do you transfer into the wheelchair out of curiosity? I'm guessing it's an ergo job like mine with low back and handles you have to pull up for someone to push.

Wouldn't life be boring if we didn't ask questions or pose a different viewpoint. I'm guessing there's a few too scared to post as they'll end up on the same pyre as Teresa and myself.

justbeinreal · 23/02/2017 20:29

Agree with pp that It's not really ok to ask people if they are really disabled!! They might not have felt comfortable telling you or that they had any obligation to answer that question.
But nothing justifies or excuses their behaviour.
Glad you went to the police op Flowers

TheFairyCaravan · 23/02/2017 20:29

I've been asked so many times if I'm disabled. I've had notes left on my car telling me not to park in disabled spaces, despite my BB being displayed, and to leave them for genuine disabled people. My husband and kids have been told that I "don't look disabled" despite me having crutches or a wheelchair. I honestly can't see what the OP did wrong.

The woman was parked there with no badge. She's in the wrong, not the OP. If the OP had to park like she did so she could get out of her car and it inconvenienced the bullies, hard luck. They didn't give a monkey's arse who they were inconveniencing when they parked in the disabled space. Maybe when they've had their visit from the police they might think twice in the future?