Lending money with conditions

[p5oebe]

Dh has been made redundant (bloody brexit) & frantically searching for another job but its really difficult as his work is very specific. I work but low paid & we have a max mortgage that we can only afford with his salary. I also have two pre schoolers at home.

Dm has very kindly offered to tide us over if it comes to that, they are very well off & adore the grandkids & extremely generous with gifts for them etc

The only thing is she has insisted we stop shopping at Waitrose, Boden & our favourite shops basically she is a reverse snob (?) and doesnt miss an opportunity to tell me what a waste Waitrose is. I am very particular about food & what the kids eat. We dont have a freezer or microwave & i find it so much easier to shop fresh somewhere i trust. I spend approx £150 a week for the four of us.
We hardly drink & rarely buy clothes for dh & I but obviously the kids need new clothes regularly. She's basically said i don't want you to waste my money!

This is great.

What do your kids eat at school op?
Do you ever eat food that your friends have bought and prepared?
I hope your kids one day get to experience the joy of eating a cheap sausage.

Op I understand why you like Waitrose, I am partial to the Waitrose shopping experience and i agree the quality is excellent. Try shopping in the afternoon between 4 and 5. In our local Waitrose it's not unusual to pick up a trolley of reduced food for £30 the normal price would be around £150.
Try Sainsbury's for children's clothes, wait until they have a 25% off clothing event. Children grow out of clothes so quickly but soft organic? Cotton underwear is a great idea.

What are you buying that costs so much?

I think you just need to readjust and manage your expectations.

There are some great foods in all of the supermarkets, you just need to take the time to look for them. We shop at sainsburys and their chicken is lovely, as is the less than 5% fat minced beef. Monthly budget for food for 3 of us is £200.

If your mum is offering money, perhaps buy yourself a little freezer? This [http://ao.com/product/zfg06400wa-zanussi-under-counter-freezer-white-26989-35.aspx]under counter freezer] will do the trick, good quality, A rated and from a trusted brand.

You can absolutely live through this hiccup until life resumes in the way you want it to.

We buy all of DDs clothes from sainsburys and next, shop in sainsburys and asda (bulk buy cleaning products from costco).
We are clearly several scales off from where you are (our combined income is £24k and mortgage is £500pcm) but live within our means because we have to.

I don't even know what boden is

I think this is an attempt at a reverse on the poverty threads. If you can't tell the poor what to spend their benefits on why is it ok to tell us etc.

If I had the money I'd shop at Waitrose all the time, I like the way they treat staff and suppliers. I don't think their prices are necessarily more expensive but they don't sell the large economy packs of products ime. Also it's easy to get tempted in Waitrose and spend more than planned. They do online shopping so maybe try that and stick to a lower budget?

I love waitrone m&s & sainsbury... but when times are tough you've got to cut your cloth to suit.

Thing is OP, you don't have the money to be able to shop in Waitrose and Boden. In fact if you don't accept your dm's (sensible) conditions, you won't be able to eat at all. Our income was halved last year following my unexpected redundancy, I've been looking non stop now for 6 months to no avail, it's very very tough out there. We've swapped Sainsbury's for Lidl and even if I do ever manage to find another job, I will be sticking with Lidl, it's opened my eyes to how over priced Sainsbury's is.

You spend 150 quid a week on food for 2 adults 2 small children!!!
I spend that for 5 adults (often 6) but I am on a limited income and shop in ASDA for groceries. We all eat very well and healthily ie meals from scratch. I have a freezer and buy items on "yellow sticker" and freeze them.
If you don't have the funds you have to live within your means.
Have you looked at the quality of clothing sold in the big supermarkets, its quite good.
Lots of people have said how smart I always look, I would say that 70% of my wardrobe comes from George at ASDA.
You need to open your mind a little, your Mother is being extremely generous, meet her halfway at least.

Go to Aldi/Lidl - do all your fresh shop there (veg, meat, fruit, dairy) and then pick up the one or two bits you can't get there and really care about from somewhere else. You will be amazed how much you save and the fruit and veg are really good in the Lidl I go to. Much fresher than our Waitrose and things you can't get there too - mini cucumbers/peppers for lunchboxes. Honestly - whenever I've been to Waitrose (if I have parked there and run out of time to go to Lidl) I cannot believe how little shopping I have for the money. I'd have come out of Lidl laden with fruit, veg, nuts etc for what it cost for two small bags of shopping from Waitrose.

Also - your post just makes me think of this. THE WAITROSE POSH PUSH!

This link doesn't sound like chipmunks!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4248248/Thrifty-mum-reveals-feed-family-62p-head.html

here you go OP - £16 a week - thats £ 134 a week saved, and you can pay your mortgage

Oh OP, I started this thread half laughing, half in disbelief, at your snobbery. Now I just pity your ignorance. Go and look around Aldi and Lidl, pick up some food and examine the ingredients and provenance on the packet. Fair enough it may not look as pretty buy you will see it is just the same nutritional value as any equivalent from Waitrose. Or continue to shop beyond your means and deal with your own disgust if, God forbid, you end up having to use a food bank.

However, if there's something that makes my blood really boil it's ridiculous claims like it's been proven that prolonged use of microwaves causes cancer. Show me one valid study, report or experiment that has proven microwaves cause cancer. Of course, you can't! If you refuse to buy discount food, at least be honest that it's about your own snobbery rather than blaming it on some pseudoscience bullshit you've probably read in The Daily Mail. Seriously, get a grip.

I had never really heard of Boden before this thread. Anyone else? I thought it sounded like a technology type place. Who knew!

Pheobe download how to eat well for less. Actually you on that programme would be interesting and I am not saying that to be nasty.

Perhaps you had better get a payday loan instead then.

I had never really heard of Boden before this thread.

I also first heard of Boden on Mumsnet and had to Google it but a while ago 😂😂

can't remember a thread having so many posts deleted in the first few pages !

I haven't read the whole thread, because, 15 pages, y'all. But if you are so concerned about what your kids are eating, you're not feeding them any packaged or processed foods anyway. Fresh vegetables, meats, and dairy products are the same at Aldi as they are at any other store. My Aldi sells grass-fed organic ground beef for several dollars cheaper per pound than my other favorite grocery (Kroger).

Thong is, op, that when your income changes your lifestyle has to change to fit. You wouldn't hesitate to spend more/save more if your household income increased, and you have to spend less when it goes down.

That probably means that you will have to check labels more carefully, spending more time on shopping, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Learn to do it. Things can get worse, and could easily do so, so be prepared.

I had a school mate who sometimes was brought to school by a chauffeur in a rolls royce, and sometimes came on the bus depending upon how well his dad was earning at the time.

Be grateful to your mum or don't take the money at all. Stop wasting money in expensive shops.

Boden is terrible quality. Really gone downhill in the last couple of years.

Bigears, I'm so sorry that happened. OP if this is a wind up it's really cruel as people have shared their stories.

It's hard to believe that anyone can have such little grasp on reality.

I love shopping in Waitrose but that's not the only place for good quality food.

We spot discounts on key long life items and stock up - pasta, rice, beans, pulses, detergents, cleaning products etc.

If you buy brand names, these are the same in Asda (or wherever) as they are in Waitrose (just usually cheaper).

Iceland which I never used to be a fan of is actually great. I'm a recent convert, it has lots of good quality veg. A freezer will really help you store food for weeks that end up being leaner due to bills / petrol whatever.

Why can't you see that you can't expect someone else to fund your lifestyle at the same level? That's not in any way unreasonable of your DM.

Try writing down what food you prepare and cost it up at different places. Look at what items you'd be prepared to lower yourself and go to discount supermarkets (as everyone has said, a carrot is a carrot). If there's a few items you'd prefer to get where you can be sure of the provenance, go to a farmers market. Or stop eating meat. You don't need it.

If this is real, I hope that you will look back and feel embarrassed at this. Because the alternative is you don't adjust as you can't possibility lower your expectations and that could have dire consequences for your family.

This thread made me think of something my old neighbour (God bless her) said
"You'll always find a better class of cunt in Waitrose". Context of conversation was the issue of rude people in shops

Same principle for the food.

The food in 'naice' supermarkets is just better presented and packaged better.

It's still supermarket food at the end of the day.

You are being unreasonable OP. You now have to live within your means. You can't afford 150 a week in Waitrose, and your kids need food, shop elsewhere, you childrens clothes don't need to be Boden, which I find to be no softer than any others, shop only for them when they outgrow and sell the old stuff to fund your next ASDA clothes shop for them.
Stop knitting letils for five minutes and get your head out of your asre, you are coming across as a total dimwit.

Just curious, but you hint that your DH has been made redundant as a result of Brexit. Is this true? The exit plan hasn't been made formal yet.

I love Waitrose but the quality of fruit and veg in Lidl is better. Toiletries are good too. Go and have a look.

Sell the woodland behind your house.

Boden stuff sells really well on eBay, especially the kids clothes.

OMG what an absolutely entitled t**t!! You honestly think that because you paid £10 for a free range chicken from Waitrose it is any better than a £4 free range chicken from ALDI?? You are paying for the name!!
I used to shop in Waitrose because it was my local, I also quite often buy clothes from Boden but I also buy kids clothes from Asda, Tesco, Morrisons and H and M which are just as good if not better than Boden!
Oh and the difference is I can afford to and don't have to borrow money from my parents, get over yourself and stop being such a snob!