Signs you're getting old...............

[Littlebatcalledlucille]

Or turning into a aul hag..............

So today I decided the Eyebrows needed a good pluck (I've got a great little Ikea lamp that shows all the strays)

Anyway, I found 3.
THREE big curly black hairs! at an inch long! just sat, growing there (smug bastards) from my chin and neck. (Neck wtf?)
And I'm going grey!

Do you have any signs, ???

Lighthearted.

Putting on my reading glasses so I can see my dinner.

Kissing people and giving them little electric shocks from my regrown tweezered moustache. Karma. We all used to giggle that my sweet great aunty used to do that.

I've been riddled with Arthritis for 10 years so feel about 90 on a daily basis!

I've got the odd white eye brow hair, a few on my tuppence and God knows how many on my head, I never ask my colourist anymore! I'm also epically anti social and have more nice pyjamas than I do going out clothes!

I'm 44.

Live in flats...use to love heels but they hurt!

Dropping eye lids and chin line - spend more time than I care to admit in front of the mirror tugging lightly at jaw skin muttering 'only a bit of a tweek'...

And hairs! Showing up where I don't want them, and where I do they are disappearing..

I'm only in my 30's but if I'm in bed later than 10pm these days I struggle to keep awake.

I enjoy property shows.

I can't imagine anything worse than going to a nightclub.

Drinking more than a glass of wine makes me feel light-headed (may be breast-feeding and recent pregnancy-induced abstinence rather than ageing though to be fair).

I went in HMV at the weekend and I had no fucking idea what music they were playing and I didn't like it.

If I go into Topshop I hate everything they sell and all the other customers appear to be about 11.

I've realised I have more in common with my middle-aged colleagues than I do the ones in their early 20s, who frankly, I often don't know what they're talking about when they're discussing music, nights out etc; and more tellingly, I don't care.

The80s O and A levels were soooo hard. A friend of mine who is a college lecturer reckons that modern BA's/BScs are equivalent to the old A level in standard in his subject.

For lawyers it's when judges look so young you wonder if their mothers kno they're out.

A growing interest in the sort of Sunday night TV my mother liked to watch - Call the Midwife rather than SS-GB (tbf I am watching both of these but am starting to avoid things like Broadchurch or The Moorside "because they're depressing").

HMV. I can hear them sniggering as i wander about trying to look like I know who the latest 'movers and shakers ' are..

Turn the music down in shops. Please. My ears.

My knees have started to crack when I kneel down. Im 28

The highlight of the week for myself and DH is watching Top of the Pops 1983 on BBC4.

Last week it was DS's parents' evening at secondary school. When we arrived I saw a group of youngsters milling around and thought "oh, that's nice, they've got some sixth formers in to help out". They weren't. They were teachers.

Arch, i knew it! Made my day!
My o level A grade in English Literature / English is my pride and joy. I was crap at the rest of school. Total rubbish.

I choose shoes based on how comfy they look rather than how likely I am to pull in them.

I've just asked DD to name someone in the charts. She gave me a look and said something like Rag and Bone Man. Nope, never heard of them.

I found out out I'm older that Julie Andrews when she played Mary Poppins - that made me feel super old!

Stealth boast, i bought rag n bone man in HMV on saturday.
Its very good.
Rag n bone men in my day were to be avoided normally!

Oh the chin hairs! And the worst thing is that I need to have my glasses on AND use the magnifying side of the mirror to be able to see well enough to sort them.

In fact reading glasses need to live on a chain around my neck because I need them all the bloody time.

Occasional oofer.

Not only do I crochet for fun I have re-discovered the joy of jigsaws.

If I fall over I have a tendency to say I "had a fall" rather than "I fell over". (Not that it happens all that often)

Dropping something on the ground and wondering if I can pick it up/or if its worth picking up
Forgetting why I've gone upstairs and forgetting my shopping list and forgetting where shopping list is even if I remember it
Feeling cold all the time and wondering about appropriate clothing for coldness as opposed to fashion

Oooh, I've remembered another one:

Preferring Good Housekeeping to Grazia

I can relate to all of this, the sitting down and standing up noises, the chin hairs, the eyebrow issues, and yet last Friday night I was in a mosh pit, just as I'm getting too old to be standing up for hours DD has reached the age where she wants to go to gigs.

You are my people! And I never expected so many replies!

Who mentioned nose hairs? there next! poking out like they own the joint spikey shites!

Not going to a particular establishment because you don't like the toilets.

Toilets are very important as you age. The despair when they are at the top of the stairs in a shop is so disheartening
.

Stray greys 'down there'. Uuggh.

Whooo? What are the charts again?

Very irregular periods. Even smaller chance of 'accidental' baby number 3 now but I guess the greatest indicator of that is DH has been adamant he will not have anymore. Which makes me quite sad despite my age.

My 5 year old telling me I look like Nanny Plum the other day as my hair is frizzy and unless I go to the hairdressers which is rare these days, it's always tied back in a pony tail or accidental bun like the other day. That seriously has given me a bit of a kick up the backside to sort myself out. Nanny bloody Plum eww.

Slippers.

I have no idea who or what Rag n Bone Man is. Song? Singer? Band?

I love to crochet.

My son did A level history and something they studied happened in 1994! That made me feel very old. I imagine that happenings in the 70s are now classed as ancient history.