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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think thank you cards for every baby gift a bit much?

291 replies

likeacrow · 21/02/2017 08:28

I might be. Or lazy. But we've had loads of little token gifts already and baby clothes, which is so lovely and generous but do we then do a thank you card for everybody? We've done them for our respective parents who've bought big items for us but do we include every colleague who has, for instance, given a cute jumper reduced in the sale or a pair of booties on offer?
I've never expected a thank you card when I've given little token presents like baby clothes to friends and I'm not just saying that to justify me not doing it! I've just always found a verbal thank you sufficient
Especially from sleep deprived new parents.
One of my best friends however thinks I should do personalised thank you cards for everyone who's given anything. She doesn't have kids. She's made it very clear she wants a card with a photo of the baby (when born) to say thank you for the outfit she bought us plus personalised message.

We've not even had (our first) baby yet btw!
Genuinely interested in opinions and approaches here as personally I think thank you cards for every last token gift is a bit much.

OP posts:
Original poster
likeacrow · 21/02/2017 09:23

I had a baby shower recently and one friend got me baby clothes the other mum to be pampering products, smellies basically. So if I give one a thank you card surely I give both? But it seems a bit overkill as we get each other little gifts like this for birthdays, xmas etc and don't do thank you cards for one another! Does a bib deserve a thank you card but nipple cream doesn't? Grin

OP posts:
MargaretCavendish · 21/02/2017 09:24

I've never had a written thank you for a baby present. What I have had - and which I've always found lovely - is an emailed/WhatsApped photo of the baby wearing or playing with whatever I bought. Obviously these might come some time later, since the baby can't wear everything at once!

Original poster
likeacrow · 21/02/2017 09:25

LadyPW ha ha. We're just honest with one another! I didn't want her feeling she had to get me something in return either as we're both prego. No big deal.

OP posts:
Oly5 · 21/02/2017 09:25

No way. I couldn't cope, never
Mind send thank you cards.
I certainly never expect them from new parents

Wait4nothing · 21/02/2017 09:26

I sent handwritten personalised cards - I wrote a list as I opened presents and used it as chilling time (and could do it as baby slept on me while watching telly).
A friend got some printing saying thank you for all new baby's gifts and cards with a pic on - I thought this was very clever - she could hand directly to people she saw and only had to post a couple

CeCeBloomer · 21/02/2017 09:27

We did - around 70 cards for each child - it's a pain but I think the right thing to do

Original poster
likeacrow · 21/02/2017 09:27

I got your post confused ladypw.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 21/02/2017 09:27

We did them. I had a bit of a rough birth too so they took a few weeks but it was something to do when sat breastfeeding (when she was feeding on the left so I could write with my right hand!) I think your attitude to only sending them for certain gifts is a bit off to be honest.

IrregularCommentary · 21/02/2017 09:28

I didn't do any thank you cards. I thanked everyone in person and then took pictures of everything we were given and annotated with name of giver. Made sure to send a further text thank you and picture of her wearing/playing with gift as and when.

Can't think of anyone I've bought baby gifts for sending a card, and it's never crossed my mind they should.

Weddings I'd expect a card, and we sent them to everyone too.

Original poster
likeacrow · 21/02/2017 09:31

Parker231 they weren't from family and friends but from my husband's work colleagues who said they just picked up said items up as spotted them reduced. They came in a Tesco bag with the price tag on. We appreciate them and thanked them verbally.

As I have previously said, I never expected thank you cards when I've given baby clothes etc. I'm just going by my own expectations.

OP posts:
girlelephant · 21/02/2017 09:31

I kept a note of all the names of people who gave us gifts before & after DS was born. Then we ordered pre-printed thank you cards for everyone. He was about 2 weeks when I ordered the pictures & we got some spares which was good as we needed them for people who sent gifts after that.

There was space on the cards to add names so between that, attaching a stamp & writing out an envelope very quick!

mysteryfairy · 21/02/2017 09:31

I bought a big pile of stuff for my DS's friends baby recently - parents are 20 and not really at the established and ready to be parents stage so went for sainsbury clothes for quantity over quality. I've had photos via what's app of the baby in the clothes I bought on various days and have found it really quite touching and very nice to receive. They obviously have mobile phones so very easy to take and send in a few secs. Perhaps you could go with an option like that.

Original poster
likeacrow · 21/02/2017 09:33

mysteryfairy We'll def do pics and thank yous via whatsapp and/or email yeah. Much more appropriate imo.

OP posts:
fatmummy87 · 21/02/2017 09:35

It's funny what different people's preferences are. For instance I think a personal email or text possibly with a picture attached is much nicer and more thoughtful than a pre printed generic card. It seems some people would also think the opposite to me.

Aebj · 21/02/2017 09:37

Ds 1 was born 4 weeks before Christmas and spent the first week in hospital. I sent thank you notes inside Christmas cards for most people.
There were a few I did more personally.
However people weren't expecting one as we moved when ds was 9 weeks and got married when he was 11 weeks old so very busy!!
With ds 2 apart from saying thank you for a few presents we got for him we didn't send cards. He spent most of the first 6 mths in hospital and we moved when he was 3 weeks old ( it was an easy move as he was in hospital!!). It was also 7 weeks from Christmas, so as you can imagine an amazing busy stressful time. Thank cards were not an important thing on our minds at that stage.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/02/2017 09:38

I made a note of all the baby gifts and sent thank you cards. Dd is expected to write cards every Christmas and birthday and I make a note of what she receives. Yes it's a bane, but from my POV if someone takes the time to give you something, I wish to take the time to acknowledge the gift. I was never expected to do this as a child. So this is something I've decided upon myself.

Seeingadistance · 21/02/2017 09:40

Maybe a combination of printed cards, emails or FB messages with a photo of the baby would work for you?

I crocheted a baby blanket for my next door neighbours wee girl when she was born last year, even though I don't know them very well. A few weeks later I got a lovely card with photos of their daughter, and a very brief message inside.

WendlaBergmann · 21/02/2017 09:42

We did send thank you cards. Husband kept a note of who had given what as between an EMCS and DS being in NICU I wasn't completely on the ball! We sent a postcard with a picture of DS and a generic message on the other.

So actually, we didn't send cards, DH sent them Blush

EssentialHummus · 21/02/2017 09:45

Every gift should be acknowledged, though personally I don't care if I'm thanked with a four paragraph handwritten letter or one line on WhatsApp.

In practice, if you're short on time but not on money, Moonpig and Touchnote can knock out personalised postcards in under a minute, or you can plan ahead a bit now by buying blank cards and stamps.

mrsp0tts · 21/02/2017 09:45

I think thank you cards are so old fashioned.

As long as you actually thank the person, be it in person, phone, text, email, whatever, I think that's enough.

The thought someone would sit waiting for post and be annoyed at not getting a card is beyond me. Though I have only heard of it on MN!

Redpony1 · 21/02/2017 09:46

Ergh, thank you cards make me shudder. Totally pointless, much prefer the 'thank you' i get when i pass over the present, or a quick text. A card is totally wasteful & pointless to me.

Greyponcho · 21/02/2017 09:49

Sent friend a large parcel packed full of gifts for her and baby including hand made items that took an age to do.
But I chose to make those things.
An SMS photo with a 'thank you from baby' was more than enough of a thank you. FGS, she's just had a baby & doesn't have time for cards personalised with calligraphy and 6 sides of accompanying letter

Rufus27 · 21/02/2017 09:54

We made a standard card with a few photos and the words 'DS says thank you' which we printed (lots of them) then hand wrote a simple message to personalise. Really didn't take long - certainly not as long as it took people to choose and write a card, buy a present and post/deliver. I couldn't have accepted gifts without a thank you card (plus it was a good excuse to send them a picture of DS.PFA parents here!).

ClashCityRocker · 21/02/2017 09:55

Photo of baby.

Note on back. Thank you for gift, much appreciated love X, y, and baby XY.

Jobs a good'un.

Although I would be fine with a text or email.

Dh was left in charge of thank you cards after your wedding.

He cunningly combined them with Christmas cards. Ah well. Jobs done.

ClashCityRocker · 21/02/2017 09:56

After our wedding. Otherwise that would be weird.