To think thank you cards for every baby gift a bit much?

[likeacrow]

I might be. Or lazy. But we've had loads of little token gifts already and baby clothes, which is so lovely and generous but do we then do a thank you card for everybody? We've done them for our respective parents who've bought big items for us but do we include every colleague who has, for instance, given a cute jumper reduced in the sale or a pair of booties on offer?
I've never expected a thank you card when I've given little token presents like baby clothes to friends and I'm not just saying that to justify me not doing it! I've just always found a verbal thank you sufficient
Especially from sleep deprived new parents.
One of my best friends however thinks I should do personalised thank you cards for everyone who's given anything. She doesn't have kids. She's made it very clear she wants a card with a photo of the baby (when born) to say thank you for the outfit she bought us plus personalised message.

We've not even had (our first) baby yet btw!
Genuinely interested in opinions and approaches here as personally I think thank you cards for every last token gift is a bit much.

It is better to give a thank you card or note for each gift. They don't need to be expensive individual cards, a a box of postcards or notecards is fine.

Just buy a pile and write each one as you receive the gift- no more effort than popping a onesie in the trolley during the weekly shop.

A group email thank you or whatever is only really ok for a group gift (work collection etc). Even then, it should show a bit of effort- baby pics or video, listing everyone who signed the card by name.

I think in the circumstances of just having had a baby, I would only send a thank you card to those that I haven't been able to thank in person.Congratulations!

Oh! You have not had the baby yet. Then you must thank the senders. I personally don't think a card is necessary, I'm happy with a verbal. text or whatsapp!

A thank you card is lovely, and it's perfectly understandable if it's a few months late.

If you just text a thank you, make it prompt!

Had a texted thank you for hand knitted baby booties 4 months after sending the gift. Didn't exactly make me feel like the present was appreciated!

I think a verbal thankyou if you open the present in front of the person is fine, thankyou cards are only for people who give you presents e.g. by post and need to know you've received the present. Think a text is fine for a lot of people though, my Mum still expects cards but TBH I only got a thankyou card from Mum and my Aunt for the Christmas presents we sent. Whereas I wore cards to all my family members who sent us presents. DH's family don't do thankyou cards though so I stopped sending them to them a few years ago.

Bah humbug daisies. For most people that would be arriving home to a lovely pile of treats showing how many friends had been thinking of them. I think perhaps you should issue thankyou cards saying thanks for the gift I hated it so don't bother next time. Such a shame that your friends' thoughtfulness is wasted on you. They're doing something that most people appreciate, and you give every indication of appreciating with your lovely thankyou notes. How are they supposed to know you only like gifts by prior appointment?

Because I was brought up to always thank people for a gift, and also to do my utmost not to inconvenience people or put them out.

I really hope that others receive the sort of things we so desperately lacked with a newborn- the practical help, meals etc. Please please think about what the parents need, rather than inconvenience them.

It's very similar to the situation with some extremely elderly relatives we have. One distant cousin keeps showering them with gifts at birthdays and Christmas, which they neither need nor want. They are totally overwhelmed and unhappy, much like I was with a newborn baby and huge pile of stuff. They do, however, love having an occasional visit from DD (they are 100s of miles away so it is occasional) and seeing videos of her antics. Another incredibly thoughtless person thinking she knows best with her 'lovely gifts'. She has been told but won't listen...

Anyway, this is going round in circles, with half the people thinking yes thank yous, and the other half no need, and half thinking loads of gifts are overwhelming, and the other half that you should be grateful for all the lovely gifts!

It has been interesting seeing the other point of view, and think we'll have to agree to disagree, as Twobarns said.

Certainly in the future, if I'm thinking about buying a baby gift, I'll be thinking about whether the recipients would genuinely like whatever it is I'm thinking of, and whether it's my taste or theirs, and likely to be useful. And I'd definitely hand it over with a comment about no thank you being necessary. Hopefully we can help the people who like gifts get a huge pile, and the people who are overwhelmed by it all avoid that!

Daisys
-You sound fun-

I am surprised people are buying presents before the baby is even safely here. But yes all presents, even nipple cream, deserve a proper thank you.

OP I am rather astounded that you don't think a gift of less than £50 warrants a thank you note. How do you know that the bootees were on offer and were picked up "on a whim whilst out shopping"?

Anyway back in the day when mine were born it was a handwritten note to everyone, which was a bit horrendous. Nowadays with whatsapp etc it is easy to send the same generic message that appears to be personalized and it's free I remember when the printed photo messages became a thing DM was very catsbum faced that there was no handwritten or at least personalized message to go along with it.

I done thank you cards for everyone. Everyone who sent a gift (value of gift is irrelevant) got a birth announcement card I'd had printed and I wrote a personalised message on the back. I had about 40 printed with my first.

By the time I had them printed and wrote a thank you message my baby was about a month / six weeks old. Also done the same with my second dc. Cost a fortune in stamps too but to me and my dh it was worth it.

I kept a notebook listing what everyone bought and crossed off the list as the card was writtten.

I don't expect a card when I send a baby gift but when I do get them they're very gratefully received and I put the card on the mantelpiece.

Just remembered! BeBeatrix reminded me with the knitting... my OH's colleague made two baby blankets for us, one HUGE pram blanket and a smaller moses basket one. I had never even spoken to her before! I bought flowers and a thank you card.

What I said upthread was I am not arsed basically if someone doesn't give me a thank you card. It is of course a nice thing to do...

However, I think complaining about it is a bit dickish, more or less demanding a card or the expectation of one and being pissy is dickish too. It wouldn't make me reconsider giving gifts to someone.

Wow i must be horrible.... i have never done thank you cards. But a verbal thank you. But we all visit each other regularly and give gifts or a token gift if we are visiting. If we all kept writing thank you cards there wouldnt be any trees left! We did however as children for birthday christmas and easter gifts. But i feel as we are older we can show appreciation without writing things down.

I agree with ijustwannadance - thank you cards seem to me a massive waste of time and energy when a text or verbal thanks would more than suffice in my book. DP was made to do them and wants us to do them for DD when she gets presents... it's always only me that ever bloody well writes the bastard things and it takes so long to get them finished and sent out it seems utterly pointless. I would never not acknowledge a gift with thanks but the card shit is really tiresome. My DP's dad is like some evil dictator when it comes to thank you cards and will send me texts and messages telling me to send cards to relatives of his I haven't even met who live abroad. The day I arrived home after having DD he shoved a pile of cards in my hand and stood over me and told me to write them out immediately - I hadn't even opened the gifts (or slept!)!Drives me nutty - I will thank in my own way and own time!

Me too dinky. To the general attitude, I mean, not the horrifying FIL with a card fetish. It's good that cards are becoming less of a thing.