To think friends are being over-senstive?

[pomadas87]

A friend (who lives abroad) messaged me and a couple of our good mutual friends - he shared happy news of his new baby and some pics. Everyone v excited and wished him congratulations!

He then said "so who's next to have a baby - she needs a playmate!" ... me and DH are newly married and are getting the question quite a lot...! Other friend said "I'm looking at you guys" (meaning me and DH)...

I then said "not for a while I'm afraid why don't you have another one straightaway and you'll have Irish Twins - instant playmate!"

Meant it in a joking way and then they all called me a racist, xenophobe etc.... I didn't realise it was offensive and now I'm feeling shitty! Did they overreact to my (stupid) joke or am I just an idiot?!

Oh and of course my favourite thing of all is all english peole being being made out to be xenphobes by the Scottish NATIONALIST government because they (not all but just over half) voted to leave the EU. There is no mention that the Welsh also voted out.

Tbh is out offend them back. Send them this link m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/8212394

Asking people about their reproduction plans is fucking rude.

I'm Irish. I'm surprised people find it offensive. Not offensive at all in my view. Just an expression.

I'm Irish, I'd privately think you were a bit ignorant - sorry! Everyone says stupid stuff sometimes though, don't beat yourself up about it.

"you offended your friends regardless of people agreeing/disagreeing on here which means you should apologise for it"

So if you say good bye to me and I claim to be offended because I don't like the original meaning of 'god be with you' or how it sounds or whatever, you then have to apologise to me? No, not buying that.

The Irish people on this thread have been divided over whether they find it offensive or not.

I don't like Katie Hopkins any more than Scottish people like Donald Trump (who is half Scottish)

Irish Catholics don't tend to use contraception so have babies close in age

Of course the bloody do. This is why the phrase is a problem, it reinforces an untrue and negative stereotype.

Thanks for the explanation of the terms in the thread. I'm Irish,living in Ireland so I've never been on the receiving end of the abuse some of you have had to deal with. I imagine I'd feel differently if I was.

I'm Irish, I'd privately think you were a bit ignorant - sorry

This. I wouldn't be hugely offended but I would think it was an ignorant comment (I've actually never heard it in my life until now).

It's not racist, and its not offensive (to me) but it is twatty, and antiquated.

I think it's the kind of thing you can say if you are Irish, speaking to another Irish person, as you are essentially taking the piss out of yourself. But if you're not from a country and you're making dodgy jokes about it it always comes off a bit condescending, you know?

Not sure how Donald Trump made his way on to this thread...

*Irish Catholics don't tend to use contraception so have babies close in age

Of course the bloody do. This is why the phrase is a problem, it reinforces an untrue and negative stereotype.*

Yes to this. You'd have to take a time machine back a few decades for this to be true ffs, do you seriously think Irish women these days are having a child every year? I honestly think some on MN, including some of the Irish who haven't lived here for donkeys years, think we are stuck in the 50s! We're aware that abortion isn't legal yet but that doesn't mean we're too stupid or God obsessed to control our family sizes.

As regards Irish twins I've only ever heard it said by English people and while I wouldn't jump down somebody's throats as I realise many are oblivious to where that came from, it is pretty offensive.

I'd never heard the term before, but the first Google result for it says;

Noun
Irish twin (plural Irish twins)

(rare, slang, offensive) Either of a pair of siblings born less than 12 months apart, especially if born within the same calendar year or school year or born one year apart.

Etymology
Originally used (in the nineteenth century) to mock the fertility of Irish families, referencing the stereotype that they have children in quicker succession.

Based on that I would have thought it was offensive and xenophobic term. Obviously not all the Irish people in this thread find it offensive, but I think I'd steer clear of using the term as a non-Irish person.

In the circumstances, I think the OP made the right call to apologize for any offense inadvertently caused.

Is tans not an abbreviation for black and tans. The ex soldiers etc that the British sent over to Ireland to assist the Irish Police maintain order.
Many behaved unethically by attacking civilians I understand.

Yes catlady1976, that's right. So it's a hugely shitty thing for an Irish person to call an English person - ie you're a murdering scumbag. Horrible.

twatty and antiquated

This

But if it's a friend, why can't they tell you nicely if you accidentally say a twat type thing? Why is everyone so bloody rude and self righteous these days?

I never heard it used before. That is bad panda.

*Twatty thing

Well that would be putting it mildly catlady. Never heard the "tan" thing myself but I can certainly see it would be a very insulting thing to say to a person just because they're English.

Speaking of twats and being not rude when telling people what they have misguidedly said. I still remember with fondness the day my DM explained to me that twat was not just a different pronunciation of 'twit' and that calling someone a 'dildo' was also not a good thing necessarily. Bless the young me.

I think your friend was the insensitive one op! I'm Irish, and wouldn't be offended by the phrase at all.

Why is everyone so bloody rude and self righteous these days?

They aren't. Only on MN!

Ha ha ILikeBeans my dad had to have the exact same conversation with me regarding twit and twat.