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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think friends are being over-senstive?

999 replies

pomadas87 · 20/02/2017 18:51

A friend (who lives abroad) messaged me and a couple of our good mutual friends - he shared happy news of his new baby and some pics. Everyone v excited and wished him congratulations!

He then said "so who's next to have a baby - she needs a playmate!" ... me and DH are newly married and are getting the question quite a lot...! Other friend said "I'm looking at you guys" (meaning me and DH)...

I then said "not for a while I'm afraid Grin why don't you have another one straightaway and you'll have Irish Twins - instant playmate!"

Meant it in a joking way and then they all called me a racist, xenophobe etc.... I didn't realise it was offensive and now I'm feeling shitty! Did they overreact to my (stupid) joke or am I just an idiot?! Confused

OP posts:
Catlady1976 · 22/02/2017 18:35

No axe to grind with op. She accepted her faux pas and indeed her friends were being unreasonable too.

OneWithTheForce · 22/02/2017 18:38

Ha! It certainly was not just the English government that participated in Irish oppression.

Justifying behaving badly or being more repulsed by a person

Behaving badly? Who on earth has said anything about behaving badly towards English people? No-one has advocated that here.

Being more repulsed by a person? No, being more offended by what that person said.

Lima1 · 22/02/2017 18:38

It would never have entered my head to be offended by that phrase/description. I'm Irish and we use it all the time. I have never once encountered a person IRL that was offended by it.
God some people get fierce upset over nothing. OP you were right to deflect the intrusive remarks back at them.

OneWithTheForce · 22/02/2017 18:39

I don't see how it's any different to all the jokes about Scousers, Cockneys, Scots, Geordies, Southerners, Northerners, people from the countryside, etc?

Oh do you not? I wonder if there is a thread anywhere that explains it.....

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 18:39

It is neither racist or hateful for someone to be upset at a joke made at their expense about something the "joker" has never exprienced themselves but can't be bothered to see the problem that someone who has experienced it might have with the "joke" (in general, not this OP specifically)

OMGyoumustbekidding · 22/02/2017 18:41

I have said it before and I'll say it again. I don't think anyone should take the piss out of irish people. I have no problem if they like to take the piss out of themselves.

The worst and most xenophobic things I have heard about irish people are in Scotland (who are also British at present with plenty of support for the union), but I now accept for the sake of peace that you only hate the english, even if there is no hate in what has been said or it is an accident.

Everyone is capale of hate. I choose not to.

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 18:43

Although some lesbians do use the word "dyke" with pride, I still get that it wouldn't be cool as a straight person for me to start braying jokes about dykes!

Jesus. It's not hard to not be a hurtful prick!

OneWithTheForce · 22/02/2017 18:43

but I now accept for the sake of peace that you only hate the english,

Another wow! You don't want to get it. I'm done trying to explain in the face of such ridiculous accusations.

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 18:44

Nobody on this whole thread has said anything close to "hating the English". At all. Just that it's not cool for English people to make jokes at the expense of the Irish!

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 18:46

If I did suddenly decide that I did want to make jokes about "those dykes", and I upset some gay people, that doesn't mean that those gay people hate straight people Hmm. I'ld still be the hateful person, even if I "meant it as a joke". They're not being hateful by not being my gleeful audience to my jokes at their expense.

StumblyMonkey · 22/02/2017 18:47

People take the piss out of English/British people all the time too....I've never found that offensive in the least.

Are you sure you're not confusing friendly jesting with xenophobia?

I've genuinely never experienced/witnessed any xenophobia against Irish people....

OneWithTheForce · 22/02/2017 18:48

So, An Irish person Being offended by an English person using a phrase coined by English people to ridicule Irish people is now a racist, hates English people and advocates behaving badly towards English people. Right.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 22/02/2017 18:48

Thank you catlady 1976. I agree it is unacceptable from anybody except irish people. Others have said this not you so I pulled them up on it.

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 18:48

People take the piss out of English/British people all the time too....I've never found that offensive in the least

Name one non-English group of people who have systematically oppressed and discriminated against the English who now make jokes at the expense of the English and get angry at the English if they don't laugh along with them?

One. Name one.

OneWithTheForce · 22/02/2017 18:49

Lucky you stumbly

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 18:52

And while you're at it, tell me one joke about "The English" that in recent history was not a joke but a socially acceptable legitimate reason to descriminate against the English?

OMGyoumustbekidding · 22/02/2017 18:54

No but.

Taking the.piss out of another person because they are from a specific nation is wrong.

It is also wrong to be more offended by someone saying it because they are from a specific nation.

It has been suggested on the thread many times that it is ok except if.it is from an english person. I think this is wrong as that english person is not responsible for the actions of their government.

OneWithTheForce · 22/02/2017 18:56

Oh fgs. This has been explained to you over and over. You don't want to get it. Fine.

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 19:01

For a start, it wasn't just the government, more recently than Irish independance it was socially acceptable in general English society to descriminate against the Irish. People remember being treated like second class citizens by English people in general because it was common and socially acceptable to do so. You think that people are racist to not find it funny when someone from the same group of people who used these "jokes" to not rent to or hire Irish people, now say the same things/generalisations but "don't mean it with malice"?

Beeziekn33ze · 22/02/2017 19:03

Never heard the IT expression before - seen it in two separate MN threads in the last hour. Friend who has DSs born within a year is part Irish and has never used the expression.
I can see how it could be offensive but on the other hand some posters have said they are Irish and use it themselves.
Overall best avoided I guess.

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 19:07

I can see how it could be offensive but on the other hand some posters have said they are Irish and use it themselves

Yeah well, some black people use the n word, some gay people use dyke or fag. It doesn't confuse the matter for me one bit, I am not in a position to decide whether or not it's okay for me to use those words too!

StumblyMonkey · 22/02/2017 19:10

I suppose I just find this very hard to connect to as I've never seen/heard/witnessed any form of discrimination against Irish people in England?

My family are Irish - no discrimination. I consider myself English - never heard or seen any discrimination. One of my closest friends is Irish - never witnessed any discrimination against her and fairly sure she'd think this thread was nuts.

StumblyMonkey · 22/02/2017 19:13

Can those who have been discriminated against on the basis of being Irish give an example?

I'm genuinely shocked/intrigued/taken aback that it occurs...

OMGyoumustbekidding · 22/02/2017 19:17

I agree stumble monkey. I know people are PISSED off and rightly so, but I just don't think ANYONE should be shit to each other regardless of the history of our governments. A history of being oppressed is not an excuse to behave like a twat to individuals who played no part in that oppession.

TinselTwins · 22/02/2017 19:19

Well gee! I've not witnessed much LBGQT discrimination, must not happen Hmm

except it does, all around me, I just don't register lack of representation etc because it doesn't affect me (trying to though)

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