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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think friends are being over-senstive?

999 replies

pomadas87 · 20/02/2017 18:51

A friend (who lives abroad) messaged me and a couple of our good mutual friends - he shared happy news of his new baby and some pics. Everyone v excited and wished him congratulations!

He then said "so who's next to have a baby - she needs a playmate!" ... me and DH are newly married and are getting the question quite a lot...! Other friend said "I'm looking at you guys" (meaning me and DH)...

I then said "not for a while I'm afraid Grin why don't you have another one straightaway and you'll have Irish Twins - instant playmate!"

Meant it in a joking way and then they all called me a racist, xenophobe etc.... I didn't realise it was offensive and now I'm feeling shitty! Did they overreact to my (stupid) joke or am I just an idiot?! Confused

OP posts:
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:05

MadMags Grin

OMGyoumustbekidding · 21/02/2017 08:05

Sorry it only happens to the Irish Confused

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:12

This is not at all what I said OMG. I have acknowledged many times that there is an anti English sentiment (albeit for different reasons historically ) in Scotland : and in other parts of the world.

I have read all your post with interest but forgotten whether you still love in Scotland, or if you specified where. Unfortunately, in your effort to make a point that the English are also treated badly (and I do agree with so much that you say, particularly your PP on otherness) you have come across as if you view the Scots as other, and with disdain - and as nasty racists).Of course, plenty of Scots are nasty racists.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 21/02/2017 08:12

I am sorry if you feel that way beans. As I said most people are lovely including my parents. The fake tan comment was only because I have felt it is something I have been asked questions about a lot in the past (I let myself go pale in the winter). I don't understand what it has to do with snobbery. I can't afford to fake tan all the time. I just assumed it was a generalisation about me because I was viewed as "different" or "othered" but could be wrong.

I hope I have not caused any upset beans. I disagree completely with prejudice in all forms.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:12

LIVE in, definitely not love in. You are not in love with the Scots Wink

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:14

No upset. To stereotype myself for a moment - Glaswegians do like a good fight! It makes us feel better :)

Lots and lots of pale skinned Scots about. Maybe the fake tan is to compensate for constant darkness and rain...

OMGyoumustbekidding · 21/02/2017 08:14

I am working class

Gwenhwyfar · 21/02/2017 08:15

" there was no phrase that I know of, such as Irish twins; Irish confetti ; Welshing on a bet that reveals an attitude in such a shorthand way..."

Maybe it's difficult to find such phrases in English (the language of the English!), but they may exist in other languages. I haven't found much but a quick google brought me to the link below. You could ask friends who live abroad if they know any jokes or expressions.

monsu.desiderio.free.fr/curiosites/anglais.html

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:16

Living abroad and saying it in a foreign language which the English don't understand isn't quite the same thing - but interesting nonetheless!!

OMGyoumustbekidding · 21/02/2017 08:17

Probably... can't wait for a bit of sun. That is one of the things I do miss.

Glad I didn't upset you beans.

I do still love Scotland, even in the rain.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:18

I have American relatives ( I am so mixed up!). My mother is American : and the only 'English blah' I can think of is English Muffin.

Not a euphemism!

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:19

OMG Flowers

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:20

Gwen - I love the idea that the English only ever say 'Goddam' : I cannot recall the last time I heard anyone say that ! Haha!

Gwenhwyfar · 21/02/2017 08:23

" MN is a stronghold of anti-Irish sentiment.

You have evidence of that on this thread.

It's that English superiority complex you see. Refusing to just back down and listen 😉"

Well, no because at least half the Irish people posting on the thread have said they don't find it offensive.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 21/02/2017 08:25

I don't say that but I do say. "I beg your pardon" if I don't hear something properly. That has drawn a few looks from people hahaha...

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 21/02/2017 08:29

Good grief not offensive at all. A common turn of phrase that's not derogatory to Irish people, can't think why it would be deemed offensive.

Nellyphants · 21/02/2017 08:29

I'm Irish, I've lived in England & US. Back in Ireland now. I never heard the term until I went to the US where I imagine it originated. Happy to be corrected though.

I find it offensive. When in London recently, a friend of a friend used the term I mildly pointed out that this not a term that I like. I got 'Oohh touchy' from a few people I the group!

I asked my mother in her late 70s if she had ever heard of Irish twins (she grew up in England) she hadn't. Her reaction was 'how rude'.

OMGyoumustbekidding · 21/02/2017 08:31

I'm scottish, but spent a good bit of my childhood and young audulthood there.

Beans: Or if I find someone rude "English superiority... I beg your pardon!"

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:32

Nelly - someone said they first heard it in The Runaway Jury, so I agree it's probably American. Never heard my mum say it, however. But haven't really had a conversation with her that would bring it up!

My Irish friend has also never heard it and she has two daughters close in age.

Does seem to have spread though as lots of folk on here seem to know it.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 21/02/2017 08:33

And I hate hate 'Oooh touchy' as a response! That does take us back to the OP where she was wondering if her friends were being over touchy.

bakewelltarty · 21/02/2017 08:37

As an Irish woman I don't find this term offensive at all. I don't believe it is meant in a discriminatory way and that is the key.

I would also say that rather than being discriminated against being Irish has always had a positive affect on my life.

Most people I come into contact with have an affectionate view of the Irish and especially like to let you know about their Irish roots.

I get more jokes that could be deemed offensive by living in Essex. Everyone knows an 'Essex girl' joke. I just smile. If you choose to be offended by everything then it could be a long and tiring life.

hollyisalovelyname · 21/02/2017 08:53

What does 'having a paddy' mean ?

HappyFlappy · 21/02/2017 08:55

'Beyond the pale' could be considered offensive too but it's used all over MN.

Good point Bumblemummy. I bet that there are numerous historical expressions that are based in prejudice, contempt, loathing and brutality that we use all the time.

WanderingNotLost · 21/02/2017 08:59

I have a huge Irish family with so many sets of Irish twins it's become a running joke! I can see why "Irish confetti" or "Irish kiss" (not that I'd heard either of those phrases before now) would be offensive as they refer to violence, but I don't see why Irish twins would upset anybody.

HappyFlappy · 21/02/2017 08:59

'Beyond the pale derivation isn't about colour: at all.

No - it's about race/religion.

The Pale was an area of the Russian Empire where the Jews were confined. Some, as a concession, were allowed to live "beyond the Pale" i.e. within Christian areas.