School have banned DD from wearing anything she has made

[HandsDontDoDishes]

Bit of a back story

DD is really creative and always has been she's from a long line of very able and academic brothers. She's not this way inclined and has a few diagnosed additional learning needs.

As we saw this (art, music etc) was clearly her thing we encouraged her and she hasn't looked back-she has some confidence back from a few tough early years at school.

The school has taken a very hardline approach to her appearance- she's not allowed to wear her hair the way she wants.She keeps having stuff confiscated (a hair accessory made with three small Pom-poms?) hair bows that she has made for her hair and now it's her watch. She covered her bag in fabric she painted(the bag got banned) reason- as ever -the school cite Health & Safety The hair thing is bizarre given that my DD had her stuff taken off her and yet in the school class photo there are heaps of girls all wearing massive JoJo bows covering half their heads.

She's ten. She knows with older brothers that secondary is more strict in respect to items of uniform but I am being unreasonable in thinking her primary school are being a bit full on-with her?

Writing this as I reread an e mail sent from the school saying she's not wearing regulation swimming stuff (she is -they were only asked for a one piece)

[hmcAsWas]

Flipping heck HandsDont - I sincerely hope it isn't to do with the teacher being one of those who only likes the academic ones. So unfair!

[HandsDontDoDishes]

Annie the local comp is AMAZING! She cannot wait to join.

Very strict with regards to uniform but it has fantastic provision for AEN.

[gleam]

I'd certainly go in and see the school. You are getting back what's been confiscated?

[hellomarshmallow]

YANBU and I would feel upset about it too

[2014newme]

You say you are assertive yet you haven't been into sort it out. Your dd will be leaving the school soon! 😂

[circleSoflife]

"I think seeing the class photo has swung it for me."

OP, I totally get this. Based on your posts the school are behaving inconsistently as other girls are allowed to have ostentatious hair accessories. What the heck is wrong with DIY stuff? I'd speak to them and explain that your dc''s feeling were hurt in the school photo incident and ask to clarify their policy on hair accessories, pointing out that other girls are wearing a range of styles too. TBH i do not like the sound of this and am annnoyed on your behalf.

[HandsDontDoDishes]

hMC
I am wondering about parent consults now where teacher has said things like "well xxxxx certainly isn't anything like her brothers is she?"

[user1477282676]

Are the others teasing her about her things? Could the teacher be trying to "protect" her?

[Splooter]

It sounds as if there are school uniform rules. Just because some pupils are ignoring them doesn't make it right. They are probably being dealt with the same way as your daughter.

[OneWithTheForce]

Well her hair sounds gorgeous! With Dutch braids and gingham ribbon through it. I wish I could have done my hair like that as a child!

[hmcAsWas]

at not being like her brothers!

There really isn't sufficient focus on spLD in teacher training

[HandsDontDoDishes]

2014 This has been going on for months and I'm not the kind of parent that hangs about the doors in the morning and in the afternoon every time my dc aren't happy. I'm not a helicopter parent like some.

The stuff that's happening is RECENT.

[HandsDontDoDishes]

User no teasing- if anything when she's worn something the other girls make a fuss.

Splooter-nope. How is a neon rainbow giganta-bow school uniform? They're being worn day in day out.

Right will draft this all up and make appointment to see teacher

I rang pool their policy is very lax -nothing other than jewellery on there.

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

I can totally understand the school saying no to a swimsuit decorated at home with fabric paint. The school don't know if the paint will run in the pool or pieces added to the suit might fall off. I think this is straightforward a no-no. If she wants to wear it in a private pool or on the beach, then fine. DD's school wouldn't permit anything more than swim badges added to a swim suit but wouldn't kick up a stink about bikinis even if the letter home stipulated a one piece.

Regarding the hair and bag. I think it would depend entirely on how it looks. It's great your DD enjoys making things but I could see why the school aren't keen on poorly made, possibly could fall apart, items. They wouldn't want other kids stuff getting damaged by fabric paint that transfers if the bag gets wet, for example. But if it's a small hair clip with three little pom poms superglued on (i.e. looks exactly like something I imagine Claire's would sell), then I would query it.

Personally, I'd encourage my DD to continue making things but to wear/use them at weekends and the holidays. As she gets better at making things, she might then be able to use them at school if they look more in keeping. You wouldn't want to stifle her creativity, but equally, there is a time and a place for wearing your own creations.

[Somerville]

You mention badges on her bag that she was told she wasn't allowed to sue. Do they have safety pins? Or appear to use safety pins, even if she affixed them differently? That would certainly be a H&s issue in a primary school.

I also agree that a swimming costume with fabric paint would be an issue. The school don't know that the right paint has been used.

But the hair stuff sounds petty. I would send in an email asking to clarify what the school rule is on hair accessories every time it happens.

[circleSoflife]

"No word of a lie there are pupils who go in with these beautiful MASSIVE smiggle bags absolutely heaving with key rings we are talking at least a dozen. How is that not more of hazard that my DDs hand covered bag with sewn on badges?"

Sounds to me as if this teacher hates anything creative. Comparing her to her two brothers isn't very nice, every child has his or her own barriers and gifts. Teacher seems spiteful.

[HandsDontDoDishes]

Please forgive typos

Their*
Whole*

I can spell

My phones autocorrect is a bit keen.

[pressinandguessin]

I think would leave the swimsuit issue. I think that's fair enough that they don't want handmade items in the pool due to contamination. But i would absolutely question the hair ties and the bag. Your daughter sounds like a brilliant individual girl.

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

I imagine the pool wouldn't have a policy that says no fabric paint on swimming costumes I think that's common sense for a school or public pool.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

I'd die laughing if they said the H&S issue was that the hair bows/bag etc might be flammable.

I kind of hope you'd go in - I'd love to know what excuses they give you!


11 year old here, totally & completely disinterested in fashion, clothes, make up, etc (like me!) said she wanted some Jojo Bows. Out of the blue. If it hadn't been for the shock I'd probably have stopped the car & made her walk home 🤣😂. All she got was a 'Oh, do you' & quick change of subject. I'm sure someone will buy her one, I'm disowning her & the 'buyer' when they do. I just don't get it, she'd normally be in the 'eye rolling' 'What do they look like?!' camp with me. I'm starting to feel a tad scared of The Teenage Years!🤣😂

[bloodyteenagers]

Even if it's the school uniform policy, at primary age it's just a policy or a suggestion.
If it was uniform based the school would have to discuss this with the op to ascertain things like is she making her own bags because of financial constraints etc.

[HandsDontDoDishes]

Purple

Trust me the girls gets to wear what she wants outside of school and ok she's a bit quirky but it's all age appropriate so I don't mind. Plus she had there massive man/child minders so she's good

There's no transfer with the fabric on her bag it's as fast as anything you'd buy. Badges are sewn on not a safety pin in sight.

Re teacher we loved her because she was so good to the boys.we do know parents of children in DS's Year who really have no time for her -I'm starting to see their frustration.

Right

I'd best get some work done!

Thanks.

[HandsDontDoDishes]

Forgot to add

Can totally see the issue with swim costume.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Your little girl sounds quirky and fabulous !
I think your problem lies with the teacher OP, not school policies.
Good to know your daughter will be moving on soon.