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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Someone else bought my sister a 'sister' charm for her bracelet

132 replies

Changesorter · 17/02/2017 21:34

My sister has a big birthday coming up. she collects charms for a popular form of charm bracelet. I had saved to get her a nice sister charm only to find her SIL (my brother in laws sister) has bought her thr very same one.

Abu to be a bit nose out of joint about this. At the end of the day my brother in laws wife is not my sisters sister. There's only one and that's me!

OP posts:
theclick · 17/02/2017 21:52

Honestly it's precious people like you who do my head in. I'm so close to my best friend she's like a sister. I would never be allowed to say that as her own cousins and sister would bite my head off.

MrsMeeseeks · 17/02/2017 21:53

I think you're being a wee bit daft, love.

badg3r · 17/02/2017 21:54

So sister's husband's brother's wife has bought her a sister charm? That's a bit odd. Does your sister know already? I would tell fake sister you have already bought her that one too so she can choose another.

Original poster
Changesorter · 17/02/2017 21:54

I do like that my sisters SIL loves her enough to think of her as a sister but it's a bit weird given that she has me, her actual sister and we're close. I don't think of ot as a snub but I do think it's very thoughtless choice given that I exist!
To my sister this is a very meaningful gift, she adores her bracelet.

OP posts:
Somerville · 17/02/2017 21:55

My DH's sister has taken to calling me 'sis'. I'd think my own sister was being a bit weird if it upset her. Shortening sister-in-law to just sister, and getting on well together doesn't undermine the long and loving relationship that I have with my blood-sister. I'm sure it doesn't with yours, either. Just choose her a different charm. Or a really big SISTER necklace.

sailorcherries · 17/02/2017 21:55

So your sister's husbands sister has bought her a sister charm and you're angry? She bought her SIL a sister charm? She bought a woman she may be very close with and shares an actual family bond with a charm and you're angry?

Blood =/= family and I doubt you know how close they actually are, particularly if you're getting so precious over a piece of bloody metal.

Original poster
Changesorter · 17/02/2017 21:56

No badg3r my sisters husbands sister has bought the charm..confused yet? Lol

OP posts:
badg3r · 17/02/2017 21:56

Oh sorry, get that it is her husband's sister now! Slightly less weird but still tell the sil you have already bought that one too. Yanbu

sailorcherries · 17/02/2017 21:57

And if your sis had mentioned it and it meant a lot SIL was within her rights to buy it, especially since you had not bought it.

Do not pretend to buy it/actually buy it to force SIL to return hers, as someone suggested. That's beyond pathetic.

badg3r · 17/02/2017 21:57

... don't even get me started on second vs first removed cousins ;)

londonpia · 17/02/2017 21:58

I get how you feel- she's your sister, your ONLY sister. I don't think YABU. My brother died a few months ago and I hate it when my cousin, who has siblings of her own, refers to my brother as her brother. I had one sibling and we had a connection that no one else had- she has her own connections with her own brothers.

PageStillNotFound404 · 17/02/2017 21:58

YANBU. I think it's nice that she feels so close to your sister, but I think she should have checked with you - the actual sister - to see what your plans were before buying anything branded as "sister".

MojitoMollie · 17/02/2017 21:58

I'm another one thinking that you're over thinking this and should be glad that her SIL (Sister!!!-in law) is that close to here

MrsJayy · 17/02/2017 21:59

So your husbands brothers wife has bought your sister a sister charm is that right? That is weird

MojitoMollie · 17/02/2017 21:59

Her

1AnnoyingOrange · 17/02/2017 21:59

Abu to be a bit nose out of joint about this. At the end of the day my brother in laws wife is not my sisters sister. There's only one and that's me!

She is your sister's sister-in-law. So giving her a sister charm is quite thoughtful and they must get on well.

I think get your nose back in joint and think of a new gift.

MojitoMollie · 17/02/2017 22:00

No I think it's op has a sister who has a husband who has a sister who bought the ops sister a sister charm *I think

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 17/02/2017 22:00

Are they close?

Alternatively, maybe that's the only charm they liked.

badg3r · 17/02/2017 22:00

Its not pathetic if she was actually intending on buying it already herself (which I'm guessing is the point of the thread). If op and her sister are as close as she says the sister could likely feel uncomfortable about the charm too. I love my sil but it's a totally different relationship to my actuel sister who I shared my childhood with, and I would feel uncomfortable receiving such a gift.

Original poster
Changesorter · 17/02/2017 22:00

Sailorcherries

She is my 'blood' therefore my family. The woman who.bought her the gift isn't her 'blood'..

OP posts:
llangennith · 17/02/2017 22:01

I'd be pissed off too. And puzzled.

Bantanddec · 17/02/2017 22:01

Maybe she just loves her like a sister?

MrsJayy · 17/02/2017 22:02

Oh her sister in law still weird imo although maybe she thinks of them as sisters i would leave it and buy her something else for her bracelet birthstone

WizardOfToss · 17/02/2017 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isadora2007 · 17/02/2017 22:03

YABU as you've not even bought the bloody charm.

Buy something else ffs