AIBU to f*ck up my best friends big moment

[Disneyhasbrainwashedmyfamily]

Help! I've been asked by my BFF's partner to find out her ring size so that he can propose! Swept up in the moment- so happy for them-I agreed! But seriously, how the Fuck am I meant to do this without giving the game away????

You said she's expecting a proposal and that she has a favourite ring type so you've obviously discussed it...

Strike up a conversation with her about how she sees the relationship going etc.. any sign of a proposal etc? Normal enough. Then say "Have you been dropping hints that you want to get engaged?" I know i did and would have joked about it to friends. If you are in a relationship or are already married you can say what you've done or another girl has done. Then say something like " i suppose you've been sneaking off to try on rings. Do you know what size you are?". If you were with her you could suggest going to a jewellers to try on or get measured, for the laugh. That way it's more a friend speculating and getting excited with her, which is normal, rather than some contrived scenario.

My H took one of my rings to get my engagement ring made.

As it happens, it was a dress ring that was much too big . It took a week to get the actual ring resized.

There's no way that I would accept a ring that someone else had chosen 'for me' - I'm the one who's got to wear it for (hopefully) years, so I'd want to make sure that I liked how it looked on my finger.
This place is weird sometimes; on other threads, men insisting on their partner wearing/doing a specific thing (clothes, activities etc) are instantly labelled 'controlling' - but someone insisting that they choose a very expensive piece of jewellery and that their partner wears it for ever without any choice in the matter is suddenly okay...?

My dh very sneakily stole a ring I usually wear and took it to the jewellers to show them the size. Jeweller remarked that it was a very small ring and was he sure I wore it on ring finger. Dh then decided it probably was too small and that he'd buy a ring 3 sizes bigger.

The whole thing took about 3 weeks of me going out of my mind looking for my ring (it's the only thing I have of my gm's and was so worried I'd lost it I didn't even tell dh as didn't want to verbalise it might really be lost) and dh buying me an engagement ring 3 sizes too big.

I never had an engagement ring when we decided to get married 22 years ago. And lost my wedding ring a couple of years later.
I'll be getting married again in a couple of years, and won't have one then either. Or a wedding ring probably. It's just not important to me to display an outward sign that I'm with someone.
I think it's very old-fashioned to expect a man to produce one.

Seamstress - it's a present - do you prescribe all your presents to people? THATS controlling! You don't have to have one, or have to wear it if given one but most people like having something meaningful that has been chosen by their partner to show their love to them.

It's not that I don't trust df to know what ring /style I would like

More to the point in my case the ring style we had both discussed it trilogy looked awful on my fingers - have quite slim ones think J for wedding ring finger and liked like a knuckle duster

Also know of two ladies who didn't like their rings and couldn't tell df. In the end one did and they chose a new one together

Sadly they are divorced now ...

Yes precisely - they should have just worn it and not said anything and be pleased soneone loved them so much to try and get it right even if they didn't. Then pick a wedding ring they like!!

So it's ok to wear an expensive piece of jewellery daily for years, even if you hate it??

well your partner should spend enough time and effort to get you something you will at least like. And he should either know you enough to know what you hate, or have means to find out. Oddly, the only people I know who "hated" their rings were with selfish dicks who couldn't bother with the effort it took to get something right. And then held it over their fiances about how difficult and picky she was and how he can never get anything right in her eyes. . I'd think it was a massive red flag, to be honest. If you are absolutely rubbish at it, you don't spend a fortune on a ring you're unsure about and you do the "jokey" ring for the proposal.

Tell her you are thinking of buying a ring from QVC but don't know your ring size. Get their ring sizer and measure your size. Then get her to measure hers to compare. I think they have the sizer thingy on the website.

Why have you got to do this? it will stand out a mile unless you discuss ring sizes occasionally already.

If a friend suddenly started trying to get me to give them my ring size so they could buy a friendship set, or any other plan predicated on "pretend you're buying a ring for yourself" and I was in a long term relationship with a reasonable prospect of getting married in the short-medium term, the ring finger of my left hand would be the one finger I WOULDN'T measure, either simply because I'd be hoping/expecting to have a different ring on it soon or because I wouldn't want my boyfriend to think I was implying any criticism of his failure to propose this far by starting to wear a pseudo-engagement ring on that finger. And if my friend insisted on it being that finger I'd immediately suspect she was in cahoots with my fiancé and it would spoil the surprise (or that she was declaring her undying love for me herself in a roundabout way ). Measure any other finger and it's still going to be too big/small and will need adjusting, so he may as well just buy the one he thinks she'll like without any subterfuge and assume some adjustment will be needed.

I think NeverTalksToStrangers has the best approach if you must get involved, but I'd still be inclined to go back to the fiancé and say you were so excited and happy for them you wanted to help, but having thought about it logically, distance means any plan will be too contrived and risks giving the game away so you'll have to leave it up to him.

thus far.

It really bugs me that my iPad autocorrects real, correctly spelled words when I'm not looking!

There's only a finite amount of ring sizes and still it may need to be resized so I wouldn't stress too much and risk giving the game away.
My DH took our mutual friend with him who is a similar height and build to me, then decided (correctly) that my hands were even smaller than hers. It also helped that she worked at said jewellers and got him a discount. Love my ring!