AIBU to f*ck up my best friends big moment

[Disneyhasbrainwashedmyfamily]

Help! I've been asked by my BFF's partner to find out her ring size so that he can propose! Swept up in the moment- so happy for them-I agreed! But seriously, how the Fuck am I meant to do this without giving the game away????

Agree with others. He can get the ring size gauge from Argos or a jewellery shop and just put one of her rings over it when she is in bathroom/at work or wherever.
Or (just thought of this) there is a brill little pot you can buy with jewellery cleaner in it. Clean a ring of your own, show her how much it sparkles and then offer to clean one of hers? But as others have pointed out, each finger is different so unless she already wears a ring on her wedding finger, it will be different.

I'd get a ring gauge and put it in a magazine. When you visit take the magazine, flick through it and pretend it came free with the mag. People usually can't resist measuring their fingers with one so measure all yours then offer for her to do the same, make a note of the ring finger size, job done.

Do people still do the whole proposing bit then? Seems a bit old fashioned to me for the woman to be passively waiting until the man asks the question. It is the 21st century after all.

It seems so clinical and unromantic to choose your own ring.

It doesn't have to be. Now-DH and I made a morning of it, went round all the little jewellers in town together, had a swift but happy little kiss while the jeweller was ringing up the one I/we chose, then went for a romantic lunch. His proposal was completely spontaneous and unplanned which was pretty romantic in itself.

Duck out and say he needs to find someone who'll be seeing/visiting her in person?

Areyoulocal

Having said that we decided to after a night on the piss and chose the inexpensive, second-hand engagement ring together.

Us too!

I am SO glad that my (now) Fiancé chose the ring and planned the proposal!
After 3 years together I would expect him to know what kind of ring I would love!
Can't believe that so many people are saying how much they would hate this, and that it's an 'American' thing for the man to choose the ring!!
Would have been a huge anti-climax to be taken to Paris (albeit on the back of his work commitments, which was a great smoke screen) and for him to propose with an IOU or a haribo... rubbish!!!

Hmm, DP and me have just sort of decided to get married after 26 years (because of will type issues). Neither of us proposed, I think it would have felt a bit daft.

Haven't got round to getting a ring yet either.

QVC do a downloadable ring sizer:
www.qvcuk.com/Ring+Size+Guide.content.html?cm_mmc=PPC-DYNAMIC--UK_Desk_Goo_Dynamic%20Search%20Ads--All%20Products--Dynamic&gclid=CMzEwMqqmtICFXYz0wodYzkH-A

I do think it's a bit of a cheek what you're being asked. Quite a responsibility. Good luck.

I had to do this for a friend - I asked her if I could try on one of her rings as I really liked it, then I said 'I'm not sure what size I should get, what size is yours?'

I am amazed people go through the formal proposal bit when they are already living together/have bought a house/have children .I can't imagine being in any of those situations without some discussion of the future .
And I think if you are going to have a proposal a spontaneous ring-less one (or 'joke'ring) is much more Romantic than a staged one .I loved going with now DH (of 34years)to choose a ring together the morning after he proposed (it wasnt exactly a surprise in the sense he had been telling me we should get married for months and it was more of an ultimatum than anything tbh.We weren't living together ,each had a house and had no children.)He knew I would want to choose my own as I am very fussy about jewellry and have very small hands .The jeweller made a huge fuss of us and we then had a loved up lunch.Had to leave the ring(second hand ,now antique) to be made smaller so DH did actually put it on my finger a week later
Friends daughter recently got engaged -living together for several years but she was genuinely surprised-and he gave her a temporary rather pretty ring of semi previous stones with the promise of a 'proper"ring she could choose herself .Which is a nice compromise.
Do peole drop huge hints about the sort of ring they want then?I had no idea what I would choose until I tried mind on ..

Don't get involved, I wouldn't want a ring chosen for me by someone else and if they had been window shopping together he would have found out her ring size as she would have tried on a few! I wouldn't be pleased my bestie hadn't tipped m off..

Both times I've been proposed to I've chosen the engagement ring - first one was chosen in a jewellers and the second one I designed. And both times the proposal was a spontaneous one.

Not sure I'd have liked being presented with a ring but luckily It didn't happen

Buy a ring sizer......and casually leave it out in your house. She won't be able to resist xx

This is very lazy of her soon to be husband. He is in a much more intimate position to get her ring size on the fly. Tell him to do it himself.

My DH did it himself, he waited til I was in a slightly very inebriated slumber and was able to use a ring measure card without me even knowing.

The answer is to tell him to get her drunk!

Whatever happens, I love it when a man chooses a ring, there's usually a get out from most jewellers to send it back if she says no/exchange it if she doesn't like it so that's not an issue. I dont think I would have chosen my engagement ring but now I wouldn't change it for the world, it is special because it was chosen for me.

Wow so many people who don't trust their partner to know what type of jewellery they like! If your at the stage of getting engaged then you should know each other well enough to know that.
Some good ideas on here OP. Hope one of them works!

I agree it's a present and it loses its meaning when the woman picks it herself

I was so kind to my now DH - two years before he eventually proposed I ordered a ring sizer measured my finger and left it on top of his wallet. He kept tidying it away so I kept getting back out and leaving it on top of his wallet....
He got the hint eventually ....

I wouldn't do it, far better to let her choose her own ring, I would have absolutely hated being presented with one as a fait accompli.

Maybe you could convince him that a proposal without a ring is better than offering a ring that doesn't fit / isn't liked?

Wouldn't it be easier for him to do this?

This is what my dear late husband did when he wanted to get me an eternity ring - he secretly went into my (rather meagre) jewelery box and 'borrowed' a ring which I wore on the appropriate finger and took it with him to the jewellers while I was at work on the understanding that I could take it back for a different size in case it wasn't quite right.

He returned to the box before I got home so secrecy was kept.

Am I unusual that I wanted to jointly choose the engagement ring that I would supposedly wear for the rest of my life? Nothing wrong with romance but the memory of choosing or designing a ring, or a pair of rings, seems much more relevant to a lifelong partnership. Each to their own of course. I would find it very difficult to involve myself in BFF's relationship in this way.