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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to f*ck up my best friends big moment

115 replies

Disneyhasbrainwashedmyfamily · 17/02/2017 18:31

Help! I've been asked by my BFF's partner to find out her ring size so that he can propose! Swept up in the moment- so happy for them-I agreed! But seriously, how the Fuck am I meant to do this without giving the game away????

OP posts:

Yukbuck · 17/02/2017 19:51

Lol at someone saying she's better off single. Gosh people on here these days are taking LTB a bit too far!

leighb23 · 17/02/2017 20:02

I agree, my hubby proposed to me with a ring - I have incredibly small fingers (size G Wedding ring and I'm left handed so by PP my left hand should be bigger!) The jeweller swore black is blue that hubby had got the size wrong, but said he'd easily resize the ring if it were wrong.

Sara107 · 17/02/2017 20:13

No, don't do it. Give him some help about the size of her fingers in a general way (if she has particularly slender fingers for example - I think some men might struggle to judge this). And then let him ask for average, a bit smaller than average etc. The jeweller will resize the ring, probably free of charge so unless it is too small to jam onto her finger at all there won't be any problems. I wouldn't like my fiancee sorting it all out with my friend behind my back.

witsender · 17/02/2017 20:27

Just tell him err on the larger side and get it resized. I don't know anyone who hasn't been proposed to with a ring, seems pretty normal.

Dinnerout1 · 17/02/2017 20:28

Say you have been thinking about getting her a friendship ring for both of you to have.. 1 has other half heart etc or get some play doh for a laugh and get her to make her own ring on her finger and you do the same or just go shopping with her one day and keep going into ring shops and say your mum is buying you a ring for Xmas or birthday or whatever... And try a load of rings on obviously she will probably do the same and she will also get to find out what her ring size is or get her to find out so you can try on rings together. Used to do this with a friend of mine years ago

thenewaveragebear1983 · 17/02/2017 20:28

A friend of mine tied a cable tie around his gf's finger while she was asleep to measure for a ring. It got stuck obviously, because it was a ridiculous idea, but he didn't want to wake her up so left it on her finger, and when she woke up her finger had massively swollen up around the cable tie and nearly had to go to get it cut off at a&e.

Don't do that.

FireInTheHead · 17/02/2017 20:29

My DH got my friend to ask, she was also in another country, she said she'd been given an unusual silver ring and she thought it was more 'me' than her, if it fit she'd send it otherwise she'd give it to another friend. I didn't know my ring size and said I'd let her know. Then forgot of course. She reminded me a few days later because she was sending some other stuff and wanted to send the ring too. I got my ring finger on my right hand measured.
Of course finger size on LH was slightly different so DH's ring was slightly too big but resizing was free with engagement ring purchase.
And I was thrilled with his choice and not a bit bothered DH and friend had 'conspired'.

passingthrough1 · 17/02/2017 20:31

Do people actually know their ring sizes? I don't.

All my rings are just S/M/L size cheap things from Accesorize and the like. Wouldn't really be any good measuring them. Does everyone have a load of professionally sized rings just waiting to be temporarily stolen?!

JaniceBattersby · 17/02/2017 20:34

The style of ring she likes has been the same since our teen years wink so he's been well briefed there!

Mood ring?

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 17/02/2017 20:36

Don't do that.
love it!

TheElephantofSurprise · 17/02/2017 20:38

ring sizer
Then try it out for a laugh and get her to join in.

Inneedofaholiday2017 · 17/02/2017 20:40

Go ring shopping with her! She must be thinking about getting engaged too - egg her on to try on a few and remember which ones she likes and fit then Go back and find out later what size the ones that fit were... no need to lie to her - she'll not suspect you've been talking to her bf!

Inneedofaholiday2017 · 17/02/2017 20:42

Ps I think it's really romantic when a guy proposes with an actual ring - lovely!

KatKyn · 17/02/2017 20:44

It's really very simple. Purchase one of those plastic ring sets that jewellers use and have them at your house when she comes round. Come up with some old cock and bull story about choosing a ring for yourself or your SIL or SOMETHING and start trying them on yourself....it'll be really easy from there to get her to do it. Really, you can do this. The simpler you make the lie the better, people can't help but fiddle with things and she'll be trying them on over a coffee in a jiffy.
However, even though this will help, I had to have a half a size smaller on my engagement ring as it was a bit loose without the wedding ring. Good luck.

KatKyn · 17/02/2017 20:46

I've just read the last couple of posts and TheElephantofSurprise has an even better tool. Get one of those and get her fiddling with it.

GerdaLovesLili · 17/02/2017 21:15

This is helpful.... findmyringsize.com/en/ring-size-scale-as-ring-size-chart-UK-sizes.aspx?scaletype=1&reftype=creditcard

Lesley1980 · 17/02/2017 21:31

Tell him to propose with a fake ring & then go ring shopping.

spooniestudent · 17/02/2017 21:34

My dp stole took one of my rings from my jewellery box. It ended up being a perfect fit, but a lot of shops will resize for free if needed

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/02/2017 22:12

Far wiser to let the woman chose her own ring

After df proposed we went ring buying. We both wanted and liked the look of trilogy so 3 stones in a row

Tried it on and looked awful - so glad he didn't buy one and proposed with it

Saying that don't they all have 30days return so if she hated it they could return it

Saying that it must be hard saying I don't like your ring ..... :(

Propose with a haribo or cheap £5 one and chose together

haveacupoftea · 17/02/2017 23:15

Why is this so complicated? Go out shopping and say you need to go into a jewellers because you want a charm for somebody. Ooh and ahh over things for yourself including rings. Pandora have stacking rings sitting out in jewellers, try them on and watch her try them on and see if they fit.

Penhacked · 17/02/2017 23:21

Yep. He needs to steal her current rings.

Bahh · 17/02/2017 23:55

This all sounds really over complicated. I have a bunch of rings sitting on my dresser, OH could borrow any of of them for a day or two to get sized and I'd never notice.

Also would not accept a proposal without a ring. This is why I'm not yet engaged - we're ready but haven't got the money yet (he has put a minimum price on it, not me before anyone thinks I'm gold digging!). Just wouldn't feel like a real proposal without one, more like it's just popped into his head to ask and he's not thought about it at all. Definitely need a ring imo.

Notquitewhatiexpected · 18/02/2017 17:50

Drop into conversation with your BFF that someone has said that you have particularly fat/thin fingers (delete as appropriate!), then say 'I'm ring size (insert your ring size), that's not particularly big/small, is it? What size are you?'

Juney21 · 18/02/2017 18:06

GerdaLovesLili has the perfect solution. Great website - thanks.

Paninotogo · 18/02/2017 18:10

It seems so clinical and unromantic to choose your own ring. I think the sharpie on his own finger would work best.

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