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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to f*ck up my best friends big moment

115 replies

Disneyhasbrainwashedmyfamily · 17/02/2017 18:31

Help! I've been asked by my BFF's partner to find out her ring size so that he can propose! Swept up in the moment- so happy for them-I agreed! But seriously, how the Fuck am I meant to do this without giving the game away????

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 17/02/2017 18:34

Does she have another ring she wears on her right hand? Could you borrow it to take to a jeweller to get the size?

CharlieDimmocksbosoms · 17/02/2017 18:35

You could say you've ordered a ring on line and you need to find out your ring size. Does she have rings you could borrow to try and work out your size? What size are her rings? Could you try some out?

BIWI · 17/02/2017 18:35

Work out what ring size you are. Then arrange a night out with your friend, and in the course of conversation, admire one of her rings, and ask to try it on. (This will only work if she wears a ring, obviously!). Then you can gauge how close/far away in size her finger is to yours.

Or, if she doesn't wear a ring, start a conversation about buying a ring for yourself - get hold of a catalogue from someone that sells rings before you do this - and talk about you thinking about buying one, but not knowing your own ring size. Make a comment about how you have no idea what ring size you are, and ask her if she knows a) what her ring size is and b) how you would work yours out.

SkeletonSkins · 17/02/2017 18:35

Go to Argos and say you need to get your finger measured. Get her to come with you and be like haha do yours, let's see who's finger is bigger!

MatildaTheCat · 17/02/2017 18:37

You can't. However you could possibly ask her if you can try on one of her rings as you love it and gauge roughly what size she is? Or pretend you are thinking of buying a ring and asking her along and both trying a few.

Since the left hand is generally less muscular than the right ( if right handed) unless she tries rings on the correct finger it will be a guesstimate.

Otherwise make an educated guess based on the size of your own hands. Hardly anyone will get the size absolutely correct so it doesn't have to be exact in order to romantic.

NB I would not have wanted my engagement ring to be purchased without my own input. A proposal does not need to include the ring IMO.

CoraPirbright · 17/02/2017 18:37
  1. Purchase a block of blu-tack.
  2. Visit her house.
  3. make imprints of any ring you can find that you recall her wearing recently on her middle fingers.
Scribblegirl · 17/02/2017 18:38

Get her to try on one of your rings?

Don't stress too much - they can generally be resized, as long as they're not super bling or much too small!

CoraPirbright · 17/02/2017 18:38

Oh, I should have added:
4) try not to squish the blu-tack on the way home.

Trollspoopglitter · 17/02/2017 18:40

Why can't he print one of those paper ring size things off the internet and measure it himself when she's sleeping Confused

Longdistance · 17/02/2017 18:45

I did this with my bfs gf.

We were chatting about our upcoming wedding, and talking rings etc. I got the gf to try my ring on.

It was bigger on her finger, but we talked about what she liked so I could tell my df.

I think most jewellers supply a dummy ring don't they? and fiancé can then actually choose what she like.

My Dh asked me, set a budget, and I chose. So, slightly different scenario.

BonnyScotland · 17/02/2017 18:45

this is funny.. how on earth are you meant to do this hahaaaa I'm watching this thread for regular attempt updates lol

bloodyteenagers · 17/02/2017 18:46

Say you read something on line that was
Interesting. It's about finger sizes and
How the prominent hand fingers are slightly bigger than the less prominent hand. Something about muscles. I wonder if it's true.
Hopefully she will play along and wears rings. Whilst the rings are off admire the ring from the right hand and try it on remembering where it fits on you.

Or it's coming up to moms day/sisters birthday. She has roughly the same size
Fingers was thinking about getting her a ring (even have some rings saved on your phone) what size are you?

Rugbyplayersarehot · 17/02/2017 18:46

Whatever you do let us know op Smile

2014newme · 17/02/2017 18:48

I would just say sorry no I have no idea how to. The boyfriend can just size her existing rings when she takes them off. Or even better let her choose her own ring

Yukbuck · 17/02/2017 18:49

I feel like whatever you do will give it away. And I'd hate to have the surprise ruined myself. Especially if she suspects a proposal may be on the cards anytime soon.

I'd either go for a night out and get ready at hers and borrow a ring (perhaps keep it on til you go home and say oops sorry still have your ring, will bring it when I see you next) then measure it. Or just tell him to guess based on your own ring size!

Scribblegirl · 17/02/2017 18:50

I love these elaborate ideas but if I'm honest I think if she's hoping for a proposal she'll work it out!

Megatherium · 17/02/2017 18:52

Surely it would be much easier for the partner to do this? How difficult would it be for him to sneak one of her rings when she's in the bathroom and do a check?

ForalltheSaints · 17/02/2017 18:52

Please OP update us on what happens.

CheckpointCharlie2 · 17/02/2017 18:53

Love the blutac idea! I'm such a shit liar I would give the game away so I think you need to rehearse what you will say!

Hassled · 17/02/2017 18:54

If my best mate randomly started talking about rings and trying my rings on etc etc and I was in the stage of a relationship where a proposal wasn't beyond the bounds of possibility, I'd cop on straight away. Just get the boyfriend to buy an average size ring and she can get it resized later.

AliceInHinterland · 17/02/2017 18:54

Be careful. My DP and best friend did this. I felt very uncomfortable about them talking behind my back and her lying to me. I found it a bit humiliating that I believed her pretend story.
I know it sounds silly but I'm black and white about honesty. Just think carefully about whether she will find it funny or not (you will probably know this). Really he could sort it out himself and leave you out of it.

redexpat · 17/02/2017 18:54

Cora do you work for any of the intelligence agencies?!

EveOnline2016 · 17/02/2017 18:54

DH proposed to me with a harribo ring with an IOU a real ring.

If she says no at least it's not money wasted.

supersop60 · 17/02/2017 18:56

Rings can be altered. I'd be more worried that the BF would choose the right ring. (sorry, not helpful)

Fireinthegrate · 17/02/2017 18:58

Get her boyf to put on one of her rings while she's asleep and then mark the place on his own finger with a pen. This is what my friend's boyf did and the ring he bought her was an exact fit.