AIBU to ask this about c sections...

[pizzafrenchfries]

So I have another post on here related to a yoga teacher and a debate on c sections and bonding but after speaking to a few other mums in real life I would really like to know...

My son was born by an emergency c section. I was conscious but it all happened very quickly... anyway.... after the birth people constantly asked: 'were you ok with that?' (Having the c section) as if it was an option... my ex yoga teacher implied it would restrict on bonding, and now a few of the mums at one of the mums groups i go to have said a few times about how if you give birth bu c section you miss out on the birth/ it's harder to heal from a birth/ birth is a beautiful experience you can't share if you're having a c section etc etc.

So basically my question is am I being unreasonable to think that most of the time a c section isn't an option and so asking if you minded having one is a redundant question?! Why do people feel if it's not a vaginal birth it's not a 'proper' one or you haven't suffered enough? And do people really think (like my ex yoga teacher) that vaginal birth is the only way and are actually 'against' c sections?! If so what happens if labor doesn't progress do they honestly believe you should die?

I have had 3 very different c sections and I will always be a bit sad that I have never had a natural birth. Due to internal damage from having c sections I can't have anymore children.

My first was an emcs under general anaesthetic. I woke up and didn't even realise I had a baby, all I wanted was water, I couldn'tdo anything for him and couldn't hold him until the next day, I remember a midwife holding him to my booby to try and get me to feed him but I couldn't hold him I was so out of it. It took me time to bond with him, not long but it wasn't the instant rush. I did feel like a failure afterwards for having had a c section.

My second was semi elective due to problems at 39 weeks it was decided as the best option. It was okay, much better than the first and I was awake though i very sick during and after so didn't get skin to skin etc. We bonded fine but again it wasn't the instant rush.

My third I tried for vba2c. I had a long labour and I progressed slowly and eventually was taken for an emcs. It was horrific and I was in theatre for 3 hours, I thought we were both going to die and my baby was taken to special care. This time it was the instant rush of love and that bond was there as soon as I held him. I am so glad I tried for the vba2c, i feel like it healed me a bit and I would have regretted it if I didn't try.

I've had both. A very straight forward water birth which was everything I wished for. Second time round I had a grade 1 emergency csection, I was rushed down to theatre on a wheelchair (I'd only walked in the hospital 10 mins earlier with pains) due to baby's heart rate being very low. I knew nothing of the birth, knocked out and very traumatic. I can tell you I love both my kids with all my heart exactly the same and although I was a bit gutted early on with my second that I didn't have a 'normal' birth I think that was mainly down to the shock of the birth. I wouldn't change a thing as both my kids are happy and healthy and that's all that matters.
Tell anyone who says that to you again to fuck right off

I had anEMCS under spinal so was conscious with DD1. I had no choice I had PE.

I bonded with her just fine but didn't wonder how a vaginal birth would be.

DD2 I delivered vaginally and had a PPH so had to be rushed off to be packed under general. So although I got the initial 5 minutes better with DD2, I was actually away longer from DD2.

Yes generally healing is quicker with a natural birth but honestly your priority is your baby in the early days - you kind of swim through the discomfort.

6 vag births, one c section. Last one so wedged in sideways we probably would both have died. Which would have been lovely for my other 6 children.

I think you can bond or not bond with any type of birth. There's no medal for a vaginal delivery. I think in a few years you'll not think about the method of birth at all, it doesn't matter as long as you're both healthy.

I had to have an emergency c section with my first,then planned c section with my second as they hacked my woumb up quite badly and there was a lot of scar tissue after the first and I was told I may bleed to death if I had any subsequent vaginal births .
I bonded really well with both of my DC.
it doesn't matter whether you have a vaginal birth or a cesarian.

I have had two vaginal births (one of which was particularly traumatic) and one c-section.

I honestly preferred the c-section. I had far fewer problems bonding after that than from my traumatic first vaginal birth, and healed much more quickly too.

There are some people around who are just determined to talk utter bollocks about this. Take no notice, and if necessary tell them to wind their necks in.

Look for a new yoga teacher and new friends if necessary.

I remember your other thread OP. I hope you left a stinking review on your yoga teacher's Facebook page. They are spouting dangerous, ignorant, ridiculous rubbish.

I have had a vaginal delivery and a planned section. No problems bonding with or breastfeeding either baby at all. I was away from DC1 for a couple of hours while my bits were rebuilt in theatre - with DC2 we were together all the time. DC2 was a section due to the damage caused by the vaginal birth BTW.

It really doesn't matter and people who care enough to judge others obviously have far too much time in their hands! A safe delivery for mother and child should always be paramount.

I had one EMCS and one planned CS. I had no problems healing, no problems bonding and no problems breastfeeding with either of them. And a baby is a baby, hiwvit gets here is totally irrelevant.

Maybe new friends?

I had a C section and no issues bonding.

I've had one vaginal birth and two c sections - in terms of bonding with the baby there was no difference at all. I hate the whole competitive birth shit - just don't buy into that crap.

I had an emcs under General anaesthetic after 3 days of labour. It was horrendous and my baby wouldn't be here if I didn't have the section. I don't remember the first few hours of her life, but I can honestly say I have had no problems at all bonding with her. She is my life!
Still undecided o whether to go for vbac or elcs next time.
Your yoga teacher is an idiot and her views could be very dangerous if spouted to the wrong person!

People are arseholes.

It's ok to feel disappointed you didn't sneeze the baby out, but the reality is that no one other than you (and certain other women it would seem) actually care. Your baby loves you no matter what.

ELCS here no probs at all bonding after a wonderfully, surgical and predictably serene birth. Loved every minute of it.

My 'friend' kindly told me that I hadn't given birth due to my two elcs. Twat.

I have had one of each and bonded fine with both my DCs. Also breastfed both. I was significantly less traumatised and spent less time in hospital after my elective CS than my 'normal' birth. Not all vaginal deliveries are a walk in the park.

I had a baby that was positioned back-to-back and went through almost 48 hours of back pain and lack of sleep before a ventouse, forceps, episiotomy and then an emergency C section as the baby's heart beat had gone down to 20 beats a minute. He was black and blue with a completely closed black eye, the other eye was blood shot. He had bruising under his ear and neck and down his arm. He had a forcep mark across his cheek/eye are. There are still marks left to this day. I was kept in for a week and told he might be disabled because of the lack of oxygen and distress. I was told the next day I could ask for a C section for the second.

The day after I gave birth a midwife who had nothing to do with the birth slipped into the room for a word as she felt she had to try and convince me to go through a natural birth next time as it was a wonderful experience and I'd missed out etc. I often wish I'd told her to fuck off because she pushed it too much. I never felt I'd missed out. 19 and 17 years later what does it matter. As soon as we left the hospital and you get into enjoying your baby, they're here so what does it matter how they got here?

Annielouise, is your son ok?
I had a similar experience almost 18 years ago and my daughter is severely disabled. This is why I have no patience for this bullshit tbh.
As if having major abdominal surgery (especially when awake) is an easy option anyway.
Grrr
I had two electives after the first ga emergency one. She got completely stuck IN the birth canal, failed instrumental, they had to ga me and someone had to push up, whilst several other people pulled up ffs. Still the too posh to push/not a naturall birth wankers brayed on

They are talking bollocks, ignore ignore ignore.

I've had 3 sections - elective, emergency, elective. The only time I struggled with bonding was with the emergency one (at 31 weeks), I didn't "meet" the baby as he was whisked off to NICU immediately, I didn't see him until he was 24 hours old and he stayed in neonatal for 5 weeks. Pretty sure not bonding was a defence mechanism as nobody was sure that he'd survive, his 2 brothers didn't.

If someone says this to you feel free to punch them in the face. F@ckwits!

What a load of bollocks. I tried for natural birth with both of mine and both ended up being sections. I bonded with both babies and breastfed them straight away (and for over 12 months after). In both cases babies would have died if not pulled out via emergency c section, hmmm yoga teacher is that a better option?? Stupid, ignorant, smug, misinformed fool

When my NCT leader came round after my emergency C-section she said I needn't feel like a failure. Frost grew over the windows as I gazed at her in disbelief, until even she registered that she'd said something unacceptable. I pointed out that a healthy baby wasn't a failure. Have had no time for natural childbirth fanatics ever since.

Both my deliveries were C-sections, first emergency, second planned. I had no problems bonding with my DC though I did suffer PTSD from the first, botched labour.

Some people have very weird ideas about childbirth, as if it's for the greater glory of the mother.

It is nonsense. About one in four women deliver their babies by c-section - when you look around, can you tell who delivered their baby by c-section and who vaginally? I doubt it.

And some women have terrible, traumatising vaginal births. It's not always wonderful.

if you give birth bu c section you miss out on the birth/ it's harder to heal from a birth/ birth is a beautiful experience.

Sorry, haven't RTFT but I literally "LOLed" at this. I had a vaginal delivery (of sorts). Between the 7 HCPs in the room, the litres of blood over the floor, the instruments, the vomit, and the resuscitated baby, the very last word I'd use to describe it was "beautiful"

In fact, it was such a mess that the midwives said I wasn't allowed to come back