AIBU to ask this about c sections...

[pizzafrenchfries]

So I have another post on here related to a yoga teacher and a debate on c sections and bonding but after speaking to a few other mums in real life I would really like to know...

My son was born by an emergency c section. I was conscious but it all happened very quickly... anyway.... after the birth people constantly asked: 'were you ok with that?' (Having the c section) as if it was an option... my ex yoga teacher implied it would restrict on bonding, and now a few of the mums at one of the mums groups i go to have said a few times about how if you give birth bu c section you miss out on the birth/ it's harder to heal from a birth/ birth is a beautiful experience you can't share if you're having a c section etc etc.

So basically my question is am I being unreasonable to think that most of the time a c section isn't an option and so asking if you minded having one is a redundant question?! Why do people feel if it's not a vaginal birth it's not a 'proper' one or you haven't suffered enough? And do people really think (like my ex yoga teacher) that vaginal birth is the only way and are actually 'against' c sections?! If so what happens if labor doesn't progress do they honestly believe you should die?

[LoupGarou]

I have had four stillborn DC plus several late miscarriages and missed miscarriages - all birthed vaginally. DS was our last chance miracle baby, and like hell was I going to birth him vaginally. I chose to have a c-section, but as it turned out I had so many medical issues and complications and such a high intervention pregnancy I had to have a c-section anyway. It ended up being a disastrous crash section when he came at 34 weeks, but in the end he and I survived and that is what counts.

Ignore anyone who says c-sections aren't proper births - pregnancy and birth is a means to an end, not the end itself.

[Spybot]

Loup, so sorry to hear what you've been through.

OP My input. I had two planned sections. Although I didn't hold babies immediately after, I was nursing them within an hour. I bonded very quickly with both kids, breastfeeding went great and I felt no negative effect on bonding because of a section.

It is utter nonsense that a section would negatively effect your bonding. I have noticed that there is a lot of emphasis on skin to skin contact after birth. It's nice but a lot of people dont get to have that initially and it works out fine. Babies are not ducklings who immediately bond with the first person they see upon exiting the womb! Let's think about all the parents who've had preemies in incubator and have been unable to hold them properly - they love their children just as much as anyone else and their children love them.

OP. Don't let these people worry you. And by the way, any yoga teacher worth her salt should be empowering you regarding whatever birth you are facing not freaking you out. That is not the way of the Yogi!

[LoupGarou]

Thank you spybot

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

Well I had a c/section, and I saw dd briefly for a few seconds. I won't lie. I had to grow to love her. I don't think that was because I had a c/section though. I think sometimes this instant rush of love that women go on about is not there for every one. Now though. I don't about the sun, but. The whole universe shines out of her arse

[BipBippadotta]

Great post, Mouse.

LoupGarou I am so sorry for your losses.

[Applebite]

Loup - and so glad your DS arrived safely

[OpalIridescence]

loup what you have been through beggars belief, I am so sorry for the sheer loss you have had to face x

[limon]

Yanbu. I had an assisted birth (and terrible unjury) and firmly believe a c section would have been better - it took me several moths to recover. I didn't bond with my dd for ages.

[limon]

Loup. I am so sorry you've been through all that.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Loup - no idea how you had the strength to keep going after all that - have some and though

[CatchingBabies]

Loup- so terribly sorry for your loses. No one should have to experience that ❤️❤️

[LoupGarou]

Thank you all x

[mirime]

Birth is a beautiful experience? Load of bollocks (ime, obviously, I'm sure some people have a lovely time).

I had a vaginal birth, saw baby for seconds before he went off to SCBU (breathing problems) and I went off to theatre (episiotomy and third degree tear). Didn't see him again until the next morning.

[Ledkr]

I have had 4 sections and 5 dc. I can cough and sneeze with a full bladder st 50, tgsfs gotta be worth the pain