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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not want to leave DD aged 4 alone in a hotel room.

308 replies

Chamonix1 · 16/02/2017 17:01

Going away this weekend, DH's parents are coming and have very generously paid for me and DH to go out for a meal, they said they'd watch DD in the hotel we are all staying in so we could have some time alone. Lovely.
However they've recently announced that they are going to settle DD in our room, call their room from our room and go back to their room and listen out for dd through the phone.
This doesn't sit right with me because surely hotel staff etc could access our room, what if they don't hear dd?
I'm trying to work out if I'm being precious here or if other people agree. It is making me feel a bit uneasy. They don't want to have to sit in the room with her as they'd need to be quiet so they didn't wake her... what the verdict mumsnet?

OP posts:
Barbie222 · 16/02/2017 20:50

I hope they do sit with her if you decide to go ahead! -and what other
dodgy judgements might they make about her care!
FWIW I'm sure that if the McCanns see this thread they would surely be happy that people have taken something on board from their experience and changed their practices?.....

user1484394242 · 16/02/2017 20:55

I wouldn't trust them now, OP. How many times did you have to tell them you weren't happy with their plan?

MrsPringles · 16/02/2017 21:00

Absolutely no way in hell would I agree with this. Noooo way.

ApproachingATunnel · 16/02/2017 21:00

Nah, the connection might drop without anyone realising and i bet they won't be sitting there listening all the time. There will be periods (you dont know how long) where they will just assume she's ok and go to loo/watch tv/whatever.

I would not be able to enjoy 'going out' with such a set up and much rather not bother at all. Or take her with you.

TheNaze73 · 16/02/2017 21:01

No way would I leave a 4 year old. You just don't do that. Stick to your guns

diddl · 16/02/2017 21:02

I still wouldn't trust them.

Why the turnaround?

What was the problem in the first place?

thisismadness77 · 16/02/2017 21:04

I'd probably trust them to sit in with her if they have said so. I might "forget" something that I have to pop back for though.

RedHelenB · 16/02/2017 21:07

Next door but one with a baby monitor perhaps. If there was a fire alarm then there are two of them to get dd Very different to the macanns as they are not leaving her in an unlocked room at least a five minute walk away!
Yanbu though if you are not happy with it.

Rachel0Greep · 16/02/2017 21:11

I commented earlier to say absolutely and totally no way.

Back again to say I'm a little bit shocked that grandparents would even suggest this, tbh.
I'm an auntie, and I know if it was me, I would be doing whatever was best for the little one, ie if she would settle more easily in the parents' room, that's where I would stay with her.
And I would be delighted to have the time with her.

maggiecate · 16/02/2017 21:12

Nope nope nope. Most doors in big hotels can be unlocked from the inside by just pulling down on the handle so even if it was 'locked' she could open it and wander if she woke up and got disorientated or upset. I'm fairly phlegmatic about risk assessment, but in a strange bed with unusual noises around her there's a good chance she won't be as settled as normal. Adjoining rooms with the door ajar or not at all.
If you agree that they watch her on any other terms I can GUARANTEE they will tell you one thing and do another, and you'll either get back to find your daughter sitting behind the reception desk with the police or them being unbearably smug and saying "We TOLD you it would be fine."

exbloomer1 · 16/02/2017 21:20

IF and its a very big IF you really had no option and wanted to go ahead with your evening out, you can't trust that your dd would not put the phone back on its stand, so the only other thing to do would be buy and use a baby monitor and check it worked properly between the rooms

callmeadoctor · 16/02/2017 21:23

Has anybody got in touch with hotel and checked cancellations yet? (Connecting room or suite) Its just a phone call, someone could be cancelling a room as we speak!

OverTheGardenGate · 16/02/2017 21:29

No chance I would ever do this. YANBU

Badhairday1001 · 16/02/2017 21:38

YANBU I would not leave my daughter in this situation.

WaitrosePigeon · 16/02/2017 21:39

No.

letsmargaritatime · 16/02/2017 21:41

Why wouldn't you trust them? Do you have a reason to think they would lie? You know them, a group of strangers insisting they can't be trusted to be truthful don't know them! There is a big difference between exercising poor judgment and bare faced lying to your son and DIL. If you have trust issues with them they shouldn't be babysitting full stop. Some posters on this thread are a bit hysterical.

Bestthingever · 16/02/2017 21:43

Absolutely not. Obviously we all worry after Madeline McCann but it's the risk of fire I'd be concerned about.

Jenniferb21 · 16/02/2017 21:49

Absolutely no and never!! You have to trust your instincts when it comes to safety anyway. I had a similar issue with PIL recently but different Circumstances and I just thought if anything happened I wouldn't never forgive myself for doing something I felt uncomfortable about just to avoid other people judging me or me potentially getting in to confrontation with family members.

If they won't stay with her cancel your meal out and have an earlier meal with DD or room service. I would definitely not consider this and what came to my mind right away is Madeline mccan.

To those who are comfortable with it I expect they mean with the use of a baby monitor. It so I wouldn't be using a video one but I wouldn't still not do this myself. I also think the hotel manager would not approve of this.

Puddleducks123 · 16/02/2017 21:56

Definitely not.

Chchchchangeabout · 16/02/2017 21:59

No way.

3luckystars · 16/02/2017 21:59

Unbelievable.

I don't believe it.

LoveDeathPrizes · 16/02/2017 22:05

I slept walked onto a hotel balcony when I was little. Nope!!

MrsNuckyThompson · 16/02/2017 22:10

Surely it depends where their room is in relation to yours? If next door I'd say this is fine. I can sort of understand them not wanting to have to sit in the dark and silence once your DD is asleep!!

chillx · 16/02/2017 22:21

My inlaws drove 200miles to give us the night off once, very insistent. We never had babysitters etc as we had no need for one and we were fine that way. It was put to us that we deserved a night out and it was very forced. We were sent off to the cinema etc and reassured they will take care of our 3.5yr old son. I thought well it's after 6pm he will be going to bed soon what can go wrong? I text them around 7.15 to see if he'd gone to bed ok, they are sat eating fish & chips by the harbour! They know how strict we are about bed time and how worried I am about water. My son didn't know them and they didn't really know him as we saw them 3-4 times at most a year. They weren't used to children. Well I was fuming and worried and upset. I felt I'd been lied to and the penny dropped that they had planned this all along. It was for their benefit. Not once was it ever suggested that they were taking him out. Can't actually remember now if they used a car seat. It was 10yrs ago now. Still fuming now.

Youwillnotseeme · 16/02/2017 22:59

listening through the phone is rubbish, she could be screaming and unless the phone was in their hand to their ear they would not hear.
Agree you need to forget something, send DH.