AIBU or is my boyfriend just a massive knob

[Peanutandphoenix]

I was suppose to see my boyfriend on valentines day it was our first one together and he ruined it by cancelling on me said he has no money and apparently he forgot to tell me who forgets that they've got no money all he's got me for valentines day is just a card nothing else and I've bought him a present. I was suppose to be going to his today but his mum said I couldn't go down and he has refused to come to mine because he said he would be too tired after work (he's a cleaner and works from 6am to 10am) he is coming down at the weekend because he gets money today and am still only getting a card for valentines day nothing else no chocolates no flowers nothing really feel like just cancelling the weekend and flogging him and his present on eBay. AIBU and ungrateful or is he just a massive tit that I can do without this isn't the first time he's cancelled a date but he normally says he will come down a different day to make up for it.

Valentine's isn't the point though, a card is thought enough
It's the date cancelling and CBA to come to see you

Get shut & move on

A month isn't a 'relationship'. I've got bread older than that.

It sounds as though you really really just wanted someone to care for you after your nan died, so you went along with the first bloke who smiled in your direction. He kept up the 'nice' for a fortnight, then reverted to who he really is, and you're worried about being alone so you're hanging on...

Find someone nice, who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Not some semi-virginal 34 year old who's never had a proper relationship because his mum won't let him stay out late.

Alittlemop your right there the valentines wasn't the point and at least he got me a card but a card means nothing when you can't be bothered to come and see someone or even make a bit of effort to speak to someone that's another issue we hardly ever talk anymore he always tells me he's going to be and then sits off on Facebook sharing things and thats not going to bed that's telling me lies which is another thing that I can't stand and then he tells me that he would never lie to me which is complete bullshit if you ask me.

I work for a an online dating company. I would not recommend it to anyone, but especially not if you have mental health issues.

Good luck OP x

zaphodsotherhead Haha I have food in my freezer that is older than that. Your right think I just was looking for someone to be there for me at a time when I needed it the most and just wanted some hand holding and he gave me that for 2 weeks and now he's just stopped and now I understand why he's been single for so long because who else would want to put up with that manchild's shit other than mummy dearest. I think I am just worried about being alone at a time when I really need someone to be there for me and help me through what am going through at the minute but he just doesn't want to be there for me and am too much of a nice person to say no I've had enough because I don't want to upset him even though he's upsetting me right now. The only person who's been there for me through all of this and talks to me more than he does is a friend that I've known for a few months he knows what am going through at the minute and even he thinks I should just dump him because he's not treating me right. Haha pmsl that last bit made me laugh your right think I need a nice fella whos had a proper relationship before and doesn't have mummy breathing down their neck telling them they can't stay out late.

troodiedoo thank you your right I didn't have mental health issues when I started trying the online dating last year but with everything that's happened this year so far think I've got slight MH issues at the minute not surprising really though.

Sounds like he has issues of his own.
Dump him. If he cba and you have only been with him for 4wks, this relationship is doomed.
We cba in our relationship with valentines but i have been married for nearly 30 years and really only reaching that point. We are too practical now. Its all so commercial.

neveradullmoment99 he's never said that he had any issues so I wouldn't know tbh. But your right I do need to just dump him because if he's acting like this now then how much worse will be 2 years down the line I'd rather not stick around to find out.

You've only been seeing him a month and yet you've discussed having children together?!! Run for the hills!!

Yeh I remember about your Dad's family now you said that and sure iswym about your boyfriend's behaviour, you don't need all that on top of everything else you have to deal with right now. Sometimes its enough to know someone's there for you who cares but he seems very lacking in that area.
I really hope you can get this and everything else sorted and your friend is right to say get rid because you're not being treated right. If you're not happy you could end up just getting dragged down further

girlandboy I should've run for the hills on the first date when he said about moving in with me er no thanks am not wiping ya ass for ya and breathing for ya like your mother does am not a manchild babysitter.

Hollywoodstunt yeah your right and my friend has been there for me more than he has. Think I do just need to cut my losses and move on before he makes me feel any worse. Thanks hun am just going through too much right now to want to put up with him and his actions on top of everything else. Xx

The fact he's losing interest so soon into the relationship is a massive red flag, my ex was an absolute wanker however.....all the way through our 8 month relationship, he always wanted to see me even on days we agreed we wouldn't.

I'd be cutting him out of my life pretty quickly given how short a time it's been, however I fully understand how easy it is to enter into something with someone just so you have someone around....I'm doing my best not to rush anything with anyone as I know it's not the right time!

Give yourself some time op, he'll only get worse otherwise.

Crying over a valentines card? Really?

Are you sure he's single? I haven't read the whole thread but after the first few other OP's replies my first instinct was that he's got a wife at home so is stringing her along for as & when he wants to see her.

Hey no problem and I could see from your other threads that you just don't need all this as well.

karmasabitch your right think I do just need to cut my losses and get rid I can't be bothered with him anymore it's just too much energy and he just seems to like wasting my time. Think I should just be on my own for now.

stoopido no crying over the fact that he couldn't be bothered to see me on valentines day and had the shites excuse ever as to why he couldn't see me on valentines day even though the night before he had said that he couldn't wait to see me and then suddenly he had no money and he had forgotten the night before that he had no money.

Eliza9917 the amount of times he has cancelled on me and twice said that I could stay at his and then on the day I was suppose to go down there had a shit excuse to cancel on me makes me think that he may not be as single as he's making out.

Hollywoodstunt thank you for your advice your right I really don't need the manchild adding to my problems and my stress. All I want is a happy relationship and a stress free life but think thats too much to ask for xx

Wow you both sound really young for your ages.

It sounds how it reads, people will take as they will.

Regardless of age, this guy is just messing her around & treating her like she's 15....she's hardly disagreeing & saying she desperately wants to make this work with him.

Op is simply having a rant.

Thank you karmaisabitch he really is just messing me around and treating me like some dumb teenager and am just having a rant and wanting some advice and to be told that am right to just be fed up with him and just get shot and that it's not just because of the way am feeling right now. I really don't want to try and make it work with him anymore am well passed trying or even caring anymore.

Have you dumped him yet?

It's not too much to ask for and I really hope you get the happy relationship when the time's right, you deserve it, and certainly a stress free life after everything else you've had to endure lately
You seem more upbeat now than at the start of the thread so I hope your self belief and increased confidence carries on

Return his present and buy yourself a gift with the money. Then get rid of the useless boyfriend, you'll be much happier!

Snugglybedsocks no I haven't dumped him yet am waiting for him to get in touch with me because he's supposedly asleep at the minute.

Hollywoodstunt thank you starting to feel like am asking for too much. But am starting to feel happier about things now more than I was earlier on. Yeah hopefully my self belief and increased confidence will carry on .

gatorademebitch am seriously thinking about just giving his present to my friend because he deserves it more than knob head does am deffo getting shot of the tit head though.