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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or is my boyfriend just a massive knob

174 replies

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 13:23

I was suppose to see my boyfriend on valentines day it was our first one together and he ruined it by cancelling on me said he has no money and apparently he forgot to tell me who forgets that they've got no money all he's got me for valentines day is just a card nothing else and I've bought him a present. I was suppose to be going to his today but his mum said I couldn't go down and he has refused to come to mine because he said he would be too tired after work (he's a cleaner and works from 6am to 10am) he is coming down at the weekend because he gets money today and am still only getting a card for valentines day nothing else no chocolates no flowers nothing really feel like just cancelling the weekend and flogging him and his present on eBay. AIBU and ungrateful or is he just a massive tit that I can do without this isn't the first time he's cancelled a date but he normally says he will come down a different day to make up for it.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 16/02/2017 13:43

He's a 34 year but old man living with his mum who only works for 4 hours a day.
Unless there is a really good reason for this he sounds a bit bloody uselessness.
Get out before it's too late

Original poster

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 13:43

lottieandmia I think your right I shouldn't be wasting my energy on someone who is never going to change because I don't think he ever will change.

OP posts:

happypoobum · 16/02/2017 13:44

Ditch him and move on, I am sure his mummy will look after him.

Original poster

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 13:46

lottieandmia you're joking aren't you the sex is as useless as he is 2 minutes and it's all over he's hung like a dead hamster.

hoppinggreen your right think I need to ditch him before he can cancel anymore dates.

OP posts:

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 16/02/2017 13:46

There's a reason he's been single so long

QforCucumber · 16/02/2017 13:47

The valentines gift in general wouldn't bother me, it's not a sign of someones love.
....not wanting to see you and not making an effort generally, that's a sign.

lottieandmia · 16/02/2017 13:47

Why the hell are you with him? Do you really not think you can do better than this?

piefacerecords · 16/02/2017 13:47

Why is he only working 4 hours? Why does he live with his mum? Why did he forget v day?

Just saw your most recent post - in your own words 'he's not exactly the catch of the year' (huge understatement imo). Tell his mum he's dumped

HermioneJeanGranger · 16/02/2017 13:48

He's 34, lives at home and only works 4 hours a day - you can do SO much better!

WizardOfToss · 16/02/2017 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 13:50

Yeah I think the reason he's been single so long is because he's a mummy's boy pratt. I guess I should be grateful for the card but the whole just not wanting to see me just makes me think he's not really bothered he showed that when I cancelled the weekend by just turning round and saying well all I can say is I'm sorry if he really wanted to see me he would've made an effort to come and see me.

OP posts:

user1484750550 · 16/02/2017 13:53

I wish people would stop insulting people by saying 'you sound like a teenager!' when someone has an angsty dilemma! It's so rude.

OP, I do feel for you, and I think you deserve better. He DOES sound very immature. Tell him to jog on.

Original poster

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 13:54

wizardoftoss I know everyone seems to be in agreement for leaving the shit head.

lottieandmia am so use to being treated like shit by mentally abusive and controlling fellas who cheat on me that now I just seem to be use to getting treated like shit feels a bit like that's what I somehow deserve because it's all I ever end up with.

piefacerecords think I will be telling his mum that he's getting dumped.

OP posts:

Original poster

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 13:56

user1484750550 thank you I really am not a teenager. Thank you for your advice think I do need to tell him to do one.

OP posts:

HollywoodStunt · 16/02/2017 13:56

might be wrong but think I've seen posts by you about him before, he's not improved so you can do better instead of wasting more time

am not gonna criticize his part time working hours or still living at home though, jobs are hard to get and presumably he isn't earning enough to rent, loads of people in their thirties are still at home these days because it's not as easy to leave as it used to be

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 16/02/2017 13:58

The fact he is living with his mum at 34 would be enough to put me off..

Also, are you sure you're not just his 'bit on the side'?

wishingona · 16/02/2017 13:59

Hung like a dead hamster is the best thing I've read on MN. It's a massive LTB from me.

CaoNiMa · 16/02/2017 13:59

What exactly do you see in this prince among men, to be maintaining a relationship with him?

BonnyScotland · 16/02/2017 14:00

I feel for you... you've put effort into getting him a Valentines Gift and expected a nice evening together... instead he's pulled the rug from under you and has yet to show any empathy for your feelings or apologised for his behaviour.. instead hiding behind his Mother.... to make excuses and reasons for her actions....

you know you deserve better Honey... alot better

piefacerecords · 16/02/2017 14:00

The fact he is living with his mum at 34 would be enough to put me off..
Also, are you sure you're not just his 'bit on the side'?

Ew - are you suggesting he shags his mum?

Original poster

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 14:00

Hollywoodstunt this is the first time I've posted about him I've posted a couple of times about my nan dying and my dad's family being ass holes. It didn't bother me that he was working a part time job or living at home what's bothering me is the way he's acting at the minute iyswim.

OP posts:

meganorks · 16/02/2017 14:00

He's just not that in to you. If he was he would make more effort and want to spend more time with you.
And he sounds like a deadbeat
LTB! (Honestly never thought I would use that!)

BagelGoesWalking · 16/02/2017 14:01

I don't think you'd get much for him on EBay

Seriously, don't waste any more time. He's obviously never had to make too much effort as mummy has always been there propping him up.

You DO deserve more! May be hard to see it, but I'd prefer to be single than make any effort for someone like him.

Jjou · 16/02/2017 14:04

Get rid. Workshy, mummy's boy, thoughtless, flaky and crap sex: what would you want to stay with him for?

Backt0Black · 16/02/2017 14:06

Dare I ask.... do you hope to have a family in the future? Would he instill such an uh-mayzzz-ing work ethic and 'can do attitude' in your child !?!

Run, run far far far away

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