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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my boyfriend just a massive knob

174 replies

Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 13:23

I was suppose to see my boyfriend on valentines day it was our first one together and he ruined it by cancelling on me said he has no money and apparently he forgot to tell me who forgets that they've got no money all he's got me for valentines day is just a card nothing else and I've bought him a present. I was suppose to be going to his today but his mum said I couldn't go down and he has refused to come to mine because he said he would be too tired after work (he's a cleaner and works from 6am to 10am) he is coming down at the weekend because he gets money today and am still only getting a card for valentines day nothing else no chocolates no flowers nothing really feel like just cancelling the weekend and flogging him and his present on eBay. AIBU and ungrateful or is he just a massive tit that I can do without this isn't the first time he's cancelled a date but he normally says he will come down a different day to make up for it.

OP posts:
KC225 · 16/02/2017 14:41

You would have a lot LESS stress in your life without this man/boy. He is immature and flakes. Get rid, get well and find yourself the attentive grown up you deserve.

Good luck OP

KC225 · 16/02/2017 14:41

He is immature and flakey.

spaghettithrower · 16/02/2017 14:42

LTB.
Sounds like he has a girlfriend where he lives.
Anyway, it sounds like he's not that interested if he can't be bothered to make an effort.
Get rid.

Raffles1981 · 16/02/2017 14:49

Mummy's boy. Move on, trust me, he will never change.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 14:49

troodiedoo not a whole lot anymore if am being honest.

Qforcucumber no I've never been to his or met any of his family but he hasn't met my family either we've only been together since January this year and already he's acting like this.

ShootFruit and bastardgodarkly your both right I do need to dump him and I probably will feel a huge sense of relief when I do and I really shouldn't give the time waster anymore head space. No its not my problem that he's been single for 2 years and now I can see why he's been single for 2 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 14:51

Thank you all for your advice your all right he will never change and he's not doing my mental health any favours right now so I do seriously think that I need to just get rid now before he drags me down any further.

OP posts:
Violetcharlotte · 16/02/2017 14:54

I'm at work reading this and some of the comments are really making me laugh Grin

OP you don't need us to tell you he's a massive tit. Run, run as fast as you can!!

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 14:59

VioletCharlotte thanks hun your right think I already knew in my mind that he was a knob head think I just needed the wise people of mumsnet to tell me if I was being unreasonable because of the way am feeling right now or if he really is just the knob head that I think he is.

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 16/02/2017 15:03

'Having a dig at the size of his genitalia is nasty too.'

No it's not! He's rubbish in bed and lasts 2 minutes

beautiebyqueenie · 16/02/2017 15:05

All I can really see from this is anyone would deserve much more from a "boyfriend" than what he is giving you. Get RID.

Niskayuna · 16/02/2017 15:12

27??

OP, please. Date men. Nice grown up ones who do not live with their mums and 'forget' how much money they have.

If the 'sex is useless' and you don't even seem to like him much then why are you even with him? It sounds like one of those dreadful Jeremy-Kyle esque relationships where bitter angry people who loathe one another get together just to shout a lot.

You need to think about yourself and your self esteem. Get stronger. Certainly spend some time single. Consider counselling or have a google and see what support is available in your area. Something that can help you explore why your self esteem is low, how to raise it, how to make you feel better about yourself and avoid these damaging relationships.

Try new things, go to groups, socialise, try and enjoy being who you are. Stop worrying about 'finding a man' and 'being alone'. If you clamour desperately at the bottom of the barrel you will end up with these loathsome manbabies that treat you badly. You need to strengthen yourself up a bit so you have better standards and believe yourself worthy of a decent man.

MiddleClassProblem · 16/02/2017 15:12

So you've only been with him a month!?!

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 15:16

lottieandmia Haha pmsl that was the point I was trying to make.

beautybyqueenie thanks you right I do need to just get rid and fast.

OP posts:
Crispbutty · 16/02/2017 15:16

Good god ... the drama!!

ShootFruit · 16/02/2017 15:19

Sorry.... back up a bit, it's only been since January? It's only half way through February!

You shouldn't even be giving him a second thought! He is not your night in shining armour. Stop looking to date for a while and concentrate on yourself. I wouldn't even bother contacting him again if I was you.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 15:20

niskayuna thank you so much for your advice the doctor has suggested some counciling but thats for a whole different reason.

Middleclassproblem yes we've only been together a month but it's only been in the last couple of weeks that he's been acting like he's just not interested in a relationship with me anymore even though he says that he wants a relationship with me thats not the feeling that I'm getting anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 15:22

shootfruit I think I jumped in to a relationship too soon after my nan died am still grieving for her and I've been single for a year before I met the tosser. Think I should just be on my own and get my head sorted out because it's not in a great place right now and he's not making things any easier at the minute.

OP posts:
ALittleMop · 16/02/2017 15:28

He's just not that into you

And that's not good for a person.

You're giving yourself good advice in your last post. Bin him and get yourself sorted then you'll be in better shape when someone great comes along

Puddington · 16/02/2017 15:28

it's only been in the last couple of weeks that he's been acting like he's just not interested in a relationship with me

To be blunt OP that means that for HALF your relationship he's been acting disinterested and thoughtless and useless. A MONTH into dating someone new everything should really be bliss and rainbows, the fact that things have gone so wrong so quickly is a huge neon red sign that this is not the guy for you. You really must cut your losses and ditch him, on the bright side better a month into it than a year!

missmoz · 16/02/2017 15:29

If you've only been together for a month and he's been crap for two of those 4 weeks then there really aren't any good memories to hold on to. Thank god you've worked him out before you wasted a year on this looser.

But you know that already.

SmellySphinx · 16/02/2017 15:32

You're not being unreasonable and your boyfriend is just a massive nob.

Karmaisabitch · 16/02/2017 15:38

Hey op,

How long have you been putting up with this guy??

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 15:39

ALittleMop I do just need to get rid of him because he's really not good for me right now.

puddington your right it should all be bliss and rainbows right now and it's not am just glad I have worked out what a tosser he is now rather than a year into it am just going to cut my losses and forget about him am better off without him in my life.

missmoz your right thank you think I will just ditch him and be happy on my own because in all fairness there are no happy or special memories all there is is just me being constantly cancelled on and made to feel like shit every time he does it.

Thanks smellysphinx

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/02/2017 15:40

I think this is an awful lot of angst for a relationship that's only been going a month. The present would be irrelevant to me personally, if uou date a guy who works part time as a cleaner and lives with his mum uou must surely know he won't have much money. Yeah a box of chocolates doesn't cost much but he remembered the card. I think neither of uou are that into the relationship,so just move on.

Original poster
Peanutandphoenix · 16/02/2017 15:40

karmasabitch we have been together for a month but for last 2 weeks he has just been acting like he's not interested anymore.

OP posts:
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