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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to discuss the BBC drama on Shannon Matthews

147 replies

EveOnline2016 · 15/02/2017 21:43

I have watched both parts.

I either need to be told IABU or not.

I used to be full of hatred for Karen, but since the program and googling as much as possible from Julie, I have changed my mind.

I know this is an emotional subject, so please don't start with the lynch mob.

But could Karen Matthews be a DV victim.

OP posts:

Runny · 16/02/2017 18:46

Can anyone explain to me how the likes of Karen Matthews, who've never worked a day in their lives and have no aspirations whatsoever are able to get away with it?

If, for example I lost my job tomorrow and had to go on a Universal credit, I'd have the job centre continually breathing down my neck threatening to sanction me if I didn't provide enough proof Id been looking for work. I know hard working people who've been in the same job for 20- 30 odd years and through no fault lf their own have been made redundant, but have been made to feel like useless pieces of shit by staff at the job centre.

Then you have people like Karen. How do they get away with it? I don't want to sound like a Daily Mail reader, ive claimed benefits during tough times, but ive worked since I was 16 and have paid into the system. People like that have contributed bugger all and yet are bleeding the system dry. I don't get it. It's people like that who give benefit claimants a bad name.

brasty · 16/02/2017 18:53

They will be made to look for work. But put yourself in an employers shoes, how likely would she be to be offered a job?

MrsJayy · 16/02/2017 18:58

Karen had 7 babies in about 9 years she always had toddlers around her so she wouldnt have been forced to sign on. She had worked in the past and craig had a job

Runny · 16/02/2017 18:59

Oh I agree that she'd never be able to hold down a job, but why don't they get sanctioned like everyone else?

MrsJayy · 16/02/2017 19:06

She might have been sanctioned but if you have kids benefits rarely stopped

wannabestressfree · 16/02/2017 19:39

At the time that happened you could stay on benefits for a long time with no need to sign on/ look for work. I lived on a terrible housing estate and the deprivation and cruelty was on a massive scale. A woman lived on the next road who had several children and ss used to provide a skip every few months to clear her house out. Her children wore proper hob nail boots. I have never seen anything like it....
but, I live in a 'naice' area now and I work in child protection/ teach in a school. We have several families we complain about quite regularly. I feed two extras every day who my sons are friends with. Ss do nothing. I have filled out reams of paperwork. There are lots of children like Shannon and her brothers and sisters and it's heartbreaking.

MrsJayy · 16/02/2017 19:45

Oh wanna that must be so frustrating as well as heartbreaking

JoffreyBaratheon · 16/02/2017 19:55

No sanctions then - that was an IDS thing, I think?

Punitive to poverty.

Our neighbours haven't worked for the 3 years they've been here and don't appear to have to sign on or go anywhere. But the younger kid is 4 now so maybe that changes when the youngest is school age? It's a very clear case of unsuitable people having kids to get council points.

TheFullMrexit · 16/02/2017 21:03

Interesting comments on here. Story told obv from perspective of her one true friend. I wonder how posters would feel if it was told from Shannons POV or one of her siblings. The notes they wrote " are we going to get fed tonight" - the fear of Craig, being drugged...we had no real vision of the DC at all - except when the neighbour looked after them throughout the two programs.

If program was from a child or shannons POV I dont think any posters would even be thinking about Karen .

ApplePaltrow21 · 16/02/2017 21:16

Go watch a video of the real Julie. She looks rough as a dog's bollocks and twice as thick. Go read the details of the case. Julie and the rest of them should have gone to jail along with her.

x2boys · 16/02/2017 21:25

she had a 'partner''that worked so assuming she wasent claiming as a single parent she wouldnt have been required to look for work they would have got child tax credits etc.

HelenaDove · 16/02/2017 21:56

Its easy to say report report report. But............

a. What about anonymity. There was a thread on here a while back about a social worker who let slip that it was a neighbour who reported the person.
b. what about the fear of reprisals if you decide to report someone. Police cutbacks and class prejudice being what it is i cant see them rushing to protect someone from a housing estate who has reported a neighbour and could be suffering from revenge at the hands of said neighbour!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/02/2017 22:08

Why have we got on to work. I couldn't care less if she's never worked a day in her life. That's not the point. Her actions would be no less evil. Had she been a high class barrister or a Head Teacher.
Also would you rather people be sanctioned. What the bloody hell would that achieve. Frustrated parents taking it out on their children. Screaming at shouting Resorting shop lifting, perhaps. Lack of money really isn't the answer.
This estate is what's wrong with Britain, said by. My daddy's a millionaire posh boy no university fees, Cameron. Well yes maybe he has a point. However where once it was free. The price to go to uni now is extortionate. Poor people have no chance, ITRW. You can't keep people down and moan when they stay down.

Powergower · 18/02/2017 08:46

Am I the only one who really despised Julie? She had a bad case of martyr syndrome and refused to see what was clearly in front of her. She was enjoying the attention and all eyes on her just as much as karen.

Figgygal · 18/02/2017 08:52

Power im with you Julie just kept putting herself in the middle of it god knows why I couldn't stand her

Kennington · 18/02/2017 08:55

7 children's lives have effectively been ruined because the mother was selfish and stupid and inconsiderate. It wasn't Karen's fault, of course, but it doesn't change the outcome.
7 children are difficult to manage for a highly competent person so I don't see why anyone would expect someone so clueless and vulnerable to be able to manage.

CallingGloria · 18/02/2017 09:35

I work in a very deprived area and see people living in poverty, with low IQ and education every day. Its easy to sit in your warm house and make assumptions about people like Karen. I think her life has made her hard but she is essentially a victim. She has probably been abused from early on and was manipulated and controlled by people only slightly more intelligent than her. She knew this but had neither the intelligence nor common sense to do anything about it.

I also doubt she wanted any of her children. She had neither the ability nor money to look after them appropriately, nor knew how to seek help.

Unless you have lived like 'Karen' you don't know whats its like.

wannabestressfree · 18/02/2017 09:51

Sorry Gloria in the nicest possible way that's bollocks. I lived on an estate with lots of 'Karen's' everyone receiving the same money etc. She may not have been intelligent enough but she is no victim. Her children are..... of her. Being unintelligent is no excuse. She had help offered. She didn't engage.

x2boys · 18/02/2017 09:59

I didnt despise her Power but i agree with what your saying a family member died suddenly a couple of years ago and initially there were uncertanties around her death and there was a police investigation, her 'best 'friend' was right in there giving interviews to the paper ,organising a fun day to raise money for her children giving a statement to the police whilst i,m sure she was devastated at her friend dying she appeared to be revelling in the attention a little to much.

Cuddlecouch · 18/02/2017 13:57

I grew up poor with a mother who was struggling. On a very poor estate. It was hard and it was traumatic but at no point did my uneducated, struggling mum think it wad ok not to feed us or hide us for money. Most of the people in our street struggled to make ends meet but there was a lot of love and friendship. The fact that karen was poor and uneducated but that is no excuse for what she did. There are thousands of families just like hers who would never resort to the stuff she did. She is vile and in time learnt how to become a professional victim. Her friend Julie is no better, she even visited her in prison because her ego couldn't handle how wrong she had got it. She spent years trying to find some redemption in karen to satisfy her own unfounded views on Karen's victim hood.

Trainspotting1984 · 18/02/2017 16:32

I don't understand the cycle of abuse stuff. Afaik Karen came
From an unremarkable family- she was from a large, working family and was the one who went off the rails, whereas her other siblings seem to be living fairly average unremarkable lives. She just moved from
Man to man having children she didn't care about

corythatwas · 18/02/2017 16:49

Kennington Sat 18-Feb-17 08:55:00
"7 children's lives have effectively been ruined because the mother was selfish and stupid and inconsiderate. It wasn't Karen's fault, of course, but it doesn't change the outcome."

How wasn't it Karen's fault and if so- whose fault was it? Wasn't she the one who abused and neglected those children for years?

She used a man with LD's to carry out the kidnapping for her own gain.

She moved in a vulnerable teenager as her boyfriend when she herself was in her late 20s. He was found innocent of the abductions.

Is there any suggestion that she was not the person her children needed protection from?

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