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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

404 replies

Smudge612 · 15/02/2017 11:25

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything Hmm, but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

OP posts:
Pebbles16 · 15/02/2017 19:48

I am one of the least "having people stay/ going to stay with people" person but if you begrudge me shower gel and toothpaste then we really would have to rethink our relationship. I will always offer towels, as it can be an arse, but we don't have a car so I would hope people wouldn't expect me to bring a mahoosive suitcase.
When people come to me they get their own of everything (usually raised from hotel miniatures) so they never has to ask.
This is largely due to me being a bit controlling!

PurpleDaisies · 15/02/2017 19:48

This is why I never have people to stay - too much politics!!

What politics? My friends are lovely. I've never had an issue with petty arguments over towels and shower gel. Confused

TheOnlyColditz · 15/02/2017 19:49

Some of the people in this thread are incredibly poor hosts. How dreadful to resent a squirt of facewash!

Tulipblank · 15/02/2017 19:52

This thread is an eye opener! If I have guests then they can use whatever they like! My £40 shampoo, or the kids bubble bath, or even root around in my cupboards for a new razor or toothbrush. I've invited them to stay because they're friends or family.

Not providing a towel is just plain weird......

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 19:56

I don't have hotel toiletries, or I might allow the use of them! I have only been in a hotel once in the last 30 odd years and forget to take anything Grin

shinynewusername · 15/02/2017 19:58

Like so many of the best AIBUs, this is a class issue. It's incredibly Hyacinth Bucket to be uptight about people using your shampoo.

INeedNewShoes · 15/02/2017 19:59

shiny - wouldn't Hyacinth have special posh guest toiletries and fluffy pristine white bath towels and robes?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 20:02

Not Hyacynth Bucket at all- I just don't share my stuff ^^

shinynewusername · 15/02/2017 20:03

Yes, it's also Hyacinth to care too much the other way Smile

Dinomum79 · 15/02/2017 20:04

I would bring my own but have had people to stay who were rummaging through my bathroom cupboard for shower gel etc (our spare room has its own ensuite so we don't have any of our stuff in it) . I now put a basket of travel size toiletries in there . They seemed a bit outraged that I hadn't provided toiletries 😳 Xx

SparklyUnicornPoo · 15/02/2017 20:05

I'd ask. I even ask at my mums, and at home we all have our own bottles, but mostly because I come from a big family and used to get really annoyed with people using my stuff, particularly my Dad who has never learned the difference between my nice shampoo and the shower gel mum buys him, he doesn't even have any bloody hair!

I do keep some cheaper stuff on the side for if anyone needs it but as the only overnight guests I get are my teenage siblings (who obviously don't wash) it never gets used unless I've not been shopping.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 20:05

Not Hyacynth Bucket at all- I just don't share my stuff ^^

daisypond · 15/02/2017 20:22

I'd assume you can use the shower and shampoo etc. And I'd assume people who stayed at mine would use mine, absolutely. If going to stay at someone's I would take my own moisturiser, toothpaste, deodorant, but I wouldn't even take shower gel or shampoo because I'd assume I would use theirs - likewise with towels - if we're talking about a short stay, a night or two.

TheOnlyColditz · 15/02/2017 20:23

Can't you see how selfish you sound? "I don't share my stuff" - I wouldn't accept that from a child, much less an adult who was supposed to be my friend. It['s so mean!

228agreenend · 15/02/2017 20:24

I wouldn't assume I can use someone else's shampoo etc and would always take my own. If I'd forgotten shampoo, I would ask first.

BabychamSocialist · 15/02/2017 20:27

Ironically, I would care less about my friends using my toiletries (as long as it's not my special shampoo that I have to get on prescription) than I would my family. That's because I lived with them for 20 years and I know they'll use the whole bloody bottle. Oh and one time my brother forgot his razor whilst staying with us, used my Venus razor, didn't tell me and I nearly cut my legs to ribbons the next time I tried to shave them! Git.

Love51 · 15/02/2017 20:30

My former uni mates and I consider sharing a form of market research. We don't ask, but afterwards we critique, so it isn't a secret!

BabychamSocialist · 15/02/2017 20:30

LiviaDrusillaAugusta

Well we have two bathrooms and two en suites so we're pretty used to it. We always buy stuff for our ensuite, the main bathroom and the kids' bathroom. For the en suite in the guest room we just buy one of each thing and leave them in there until they're empty. That means the shampoo currently in there is the one from when my friend came to stay in August, it also got used by family over Christmas and it'll stay until it's used up.

SteppingOnToes · 15/02/2017 20:38

Remind me to hide my salon shampoo next time I have visitors - I wouldn't be happy people using it when they are £25 a bottle each

SteppingOnToes · 15/02/2017 20:39

Happy for people to use toothpaste shower gel etc, It's just shampoo is a bit personal

tinkiiev · 15/02/2017 20:46

I actually quite look forward to trying out different shampoo etc in other people's houses - never occurred to me that this was rude! Blush I'd never in a million years begrudge someone staying here a blob of shampoo or whatever.

I had a flat mate who used my toothbrush once though and I was not ok with that at all.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 21:08

i wouldn't accept that from a child

Tbf I absolutely know how selfish I sound and I'm quite comfortable with that, although I understand that not everyone would be.

You wouldn't have to 'accept' it from me - My friends respect other people's possessions. Why is it mean? I don't ask anyone else to share their stuff with me either! And I don't invite anyone to stay, if they descend on me then they need to have everything with them.

I don't have hundreds of bathrooms though so that kind of avoids the issue of lots of sets of products iyswim

liz70 · 15/02/2017 21:14

"It's just shampoo is a bit personal"

No it isn't. It's shampoo, not frigging thrush or piles cream. Hmm

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 21:15

I'm sure those who are generous have friends who are the same. And those of us who wouldn't dream of expecting someone to share their stuff have friends that are the same Grin

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 21:16

I find anyone being presumptuous a little irritating, that's all

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