Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

404 replies

Smudge612 · 15/02/2017 11:25

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything Hmm, but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

OP posts:
brasty · 15/02/2017 18:34

And if I had something very expensive, I would put it in a cupboard while guests are there. I am amazed though that anyone with kids leaves expensive toiletries out in their bathroom.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 18:34

anyone who stayed would be doing so for their benefit (as in I wouldn't have voluntarily had them to stay) so that's why I'm a tad inhospitable Grin

EatSpamAmandaLamb · 15/02/2017 18:35

So what would you do if they didn't bring a towel? Would you bill them for usage and laundry?

londonfeather · 15/02/2017 18:37

I don't think I could be friends with someone who resented me using a squeeze of their shower gel. All guests are welcome to use the best I have in my home - mi casa es tu casa!!! I want guests staying to feel welcome not weird or uncomfortable about something as trivial as shampoo.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 18:38

i hate having people to stay - and I don't willingly share my stuff Grin

Mynestisfullofempty · 15/02/2017 19:00

Livia surely providing a towel for your guests only entails taking one out of the cupboard for them and putting it in the washing machine when they've gone. It's hardly an inconvenience is it?

Mynestisfullofempty · 15/02/2017 19:03

Cherrysoup I definitely don't want them scraping their toothbrush on my toothpaste, it would make me feel sick.

Good grief.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 19:05

I only have two towels Blush

dowhatnow · 15/02/2017 19:08

I don't scrape my toothbrush against my toothpaste tube anyway. That's also grim. Surely most people can squeeze it out without any contact?

Mynestisfullofempty · 15/02/2017 19:10

dowhatnow Exactly, no need for any contact.

bummymummy77 · 15/02/2017 19:10

I put hotel minis out for people to use. I use the avenda hair thickening and range and it's stupidly expensive so hide it when people come. 😳

greenworm · 15/02/2017 19:12

With my family and my very close friends I'd use stuff that was there, unless it looked expensive/special, and assuming I wasn't using it for more than 2 or 3 washes. With people I knew less well, or thought mumight mind, I'd take my own stuff and ask them about using anything of theirs in advance if I had run out of or forgotten my own.

PuppyMonkey · 15/02/2017 19:15

People who begrudge guests using their shampoo = odd.

People who don't bring their own toiletries when staying with someone = odd.

Woolyheads · 15/02/2017 19:24

I would pack my own. However I wouldn't even notice if a guest used some of mine.

HelenaGWells · 15/02/2017 19:25

If I'm close enough to stay at someone's house I would feel fine using a squirt of shower gel. If I found out that a guest felt like they couldn't do this I'd be confused. If I let you stay in my house you are free to use my shower gel. You are also free to make yourself a drink etc.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 19:28

Not odd - just different ways of doing things.

What would be odd is for someone to begrudge the use of their stuff while happily using other people's!

mellowfartfulness · 15/02/2017 19:32

Surely it depends on context. If me, DH and the kids are descending on someone for a week, I bring shower stuff because we'd get through loads of it in that time. When I took a four hour train journey to go to a gig and stay with a friend afterwards, I shoved a spare tshirt and knickers in a satchel and that was it, so I borrowed her shower gel and doubt she even noticed. I would never use the last of something, and I'd ask if I thought of it before I was actually butt naked and dripping, but surely to god a squeeze of shampoo is not an issue between friends??

As a host, I assume I might need to provide anything and everything - and have been asked for most of it over the years, including a spare Tshirt to sleep in. People forget stuff. If you can't be relaxed about offering everyday items to guests, I don't honestly think you can be a good host. If you have expensive stuff you don't want to share, hide it beforehand and put out something ordinary - like DD does when she doesn't want her friends to play with a particular special toy. If a 6 year old can grasp the idea...

lljkk · 15/02/2017 19:33

What's the difference between expensive & cheerful/cheap shower gel/conditioner/shampoo?

I know the Basics range isn't quite L'Oreal, but beyond the kind of £1-2/bottle price bracket, what do you get for £10/bottle or whatever the posh stuff costs. Do tell.

starfishmummy · 15/02/2017 19:35

I would always take my own as I have sensitive skin and cant just use anything.
If we have guests I put some toileteries in their room for them to use or they can use what is in the bathroom. If there was something special that I dont want them to use then I would move it into my room.

BoboChic · 15/02/2017 19:37

I take my own shampoo, conditioner and shower gel when I stay with friends - I use Aesop products and get plenty of free samples that I save for travel.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 19:38

Who has two different lots of toiletries? I have whatever cheap shit products I pick up, I don't have expensive stuff for me with cheap stuff for guests! I didn't know buying guest toiletries was a 'thing' - every day is a school day Grin

brasty · 15/02/2017 19:40

I happily give towels to guests. Except when I have had lots of people to stay - 5 adults, I don't actually have enough clean bath towels for everyone plus me and DP.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 15/02/2017 19:40

But then I don't expect to use other people's stuff if I go there either. As long as everyone has the same attitude it isn't an issue

mistermagpie · 15/02/2017 19:42

This is why I never have people to stay - too much politics!!

brasty · 15/02/2017 19:46

There really isn't too much politics, unless your friends are twats