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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

404 replies

Smudge612 · 15/02/2017 11:25

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything Hmm, but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

OP posts:
Mamabear14 · 16/02/2017 13:38

I once had a lovely lady give me a tampon as I was caught out and the bloody machine wasn't working. She could see me feeding coins in and came up and slid me a lil-let. Could have kissed her as I had a long bus journey I wouldn't have fancied a toilet roll pad for!

Wtfdoipick · 16/02/2017 13:39

I leave toiletries in the guest bathrooms but generally my friends and family bring their own. We are all really particular about products we use so take our own. Even when going to my parents house I take everything I need. It would not occur to me to use someone else's.

If my guests need to make their own tea or coffee then I'm being a bad host.

Mamabear14 · 16/02/2017 13:39

Also, I have one bathroom and plenty of fancy toiletries, white company handwash/shower gel etc. I don't think I'd even notice if people used it. I would however be miffed if someone used my roll on.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 16/02/2017 13:40

And often the people 'reduced' to asking for money are trying it on anyway - same people every week with the same excuse.

The tampon issue is interesting - when I couldn't easily afford sanitary towels I had to use
Toilet paper from public loos etc - I wouldn't have been comfortable asking someone

SapphireStrange · 16/02/2017 13:43

I wouldn't have been comfortable asking someone

Pity. I think most women would be only too happy to help out. Any of us could be caught short.

Like others on this thread, I wouldn't trust a wad of loo roll unless I had only a short journey home.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 16/02/2017 13:45

Oh trust me - it can last for plenty of time! Grin

Kiroro · 16/02/2017 13:45

LiviaDrusillaAugusta

I don't want overnight guests. I certainly don't invite people to stay.

No shit Sherlock! I would never have guessed that from your posts! Livia winning prize for the most unsuitable person to host, ever!

Mega LOLZ

Kiroro · 16/02/2017 13:47

If I don't know someone well enough to say "I'd love a tea, shall I get the kettle on?" I wouldn't be staying the night with them.

expatinscotland · 16/02/2017 13:47

'Do the mooncup wearers buy stuff especially for guests? Genuine question'

I don't. But on MN people have baskets full of hotel toiletries (not scrubs like me who go to Premier Inn where the gel is attached to the wall), baskets of san pro, guest ensuites with guest dressing gowns and slippers.

San pro costs fortune. I haven't bought it in years. If I have a spare fiver, I sure as hell won't be spunking it on san pro I don't use.

wishingona · 16/02/2017 13:47

I don't think it's fine. I'd always take my own.

NotCitrus · 16/02/2017 13:48

Inside ladies' loos it's acceptable to ask for anything, and most polite to offer help to people who might need it. I've given out nappies to various stressed mothers (and received at least one), and been asked for tampons.

If I'm letting someone upstairs in my house and then to use the bathroom, then the bottles round the bath are included in the bathroom offer, along with hot water, toilet roll, pile of towels, soap on the basin, etc. Lodger keeps her expensive gunk in the cabinet to ensure guests (or more likely my small children) don't use it, but other stuff is fair game.

I expect my guests to make me tea, though!

lottieandmia · 16/02/2017 13:49

YANBU - I think I would expect someone to do this if they were staying with me.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 16/02/2017 13:50

It didn't occur to me to ask a stranger for something like that - I would have to be in serious trouble before I did. Given the slating I have had from some posters (rude, selfish etc) I'm quite glad it doesn't Grin

expatinscotland · 16/02/2017 13:56

Gah, Livia, where have you been? On MN land, your home is supposed to be open to everyone - homeless people who broke into the shed in your ma's garden, taxi drivers who then ask if they can come into your home and use your loo after picking you up as a fare, whatever random knocks on your door and asks to use your loo, loons whose kids are in the scout troupe your h runs and who chap on your door demanding to know where your h is (you need to feed those special ones, too). There needs be a special loo, with baskets of toiletries and san pro.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 16/02/2017 13:58

Oops yes - good point BlushGrin

expatinscotland · 16/02/2017 14:12

Need to also allow others to use your home as a funeral parlour and graveyard or you're 'heartless'.

LucklessMonster · 16/02/2017 17:19

My home definitely isn't open to everyone and I only have one bathroom.

But I'm not enough of a cunt to begrudge guests a cup of tea or the use of my shampoo.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 16/02/2017 17:29

And yet you are happy enough to call someone a cunt for not doing things the same way as you?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 16/02/2017 17:32

If you read the thread, nowhere have I slagged off the hospitable people and yet the insults have been coming thick and fast from people who purport to be generous

Shona52 · 16/02/2017 17:46

I would have no problem with this either. (And always put things out I think guests might need) But if your not close (would be strange if your not and staying at someone's) might be best not to assume this.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 16/02/2017 17:48

I'd be so upset if any of my friends or family thought they had to ask before using shower gel or shampoo.

They're a guest in my house, I want to feel comfortable, for the duration of their stay I honestly think that what's mine is theirs.

Even the posh stuff - I'd feel glad they got to enjoy it.

user1475439961 · 16/02/2017 17:49

I would always take my own bathroom products. I would however offer my own to visitors.

Unicorn1981 · 16/02/2017 17:50

I wouldn't mind anyone using it but I'd take my own when staying elsewhere. Although when we stayed with dp's sister abroad she told us not to bring any as she had loads because of the baggage allowance thing. Once my other sil actually used my posh shampoo that was on a separate shelf and used almost half a bottle as her hair is so thick! I was annoyed about that! I wouldn't ever assume I could use the expensive stuff but I don't care anyone using mine as long as they ask out of courtesy (if it's on the bath it's fair game though)

DagenhamRoundhouse · 16/02/2017 17:56

I remember a friend helping herself to about a quarter of a bottle of Chanel foam bath without asking! Whole top floor reeked of it for days. Cheeky coo.

PollyPerky · 16/02/2017 17:58

I'd never use anyone else's without asking first. I take my own anyway as I like my own!
Here, we have an en suite anyway so the other bathroom is just for guests and therefore I make it clear they can use the products in there. Cotton wool, tissues, shower stuff. I don't provide shampoo but once someone did ask to borrow some, as they'd not brought their own.

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