AIBU to assume I can use their shampoo/shower gel when visiting?

[Smudge612]

I don't mean rummaging in their bathroom cupboards or anything , but for example, we have shower gel, shampoo & conditioner out on the side of the bath (shower over bath job). I would assume guests would use them if they needed when they stay at mine - and am happy for them to do so. Is it wrong to assume I can then do the same thing if I stay over somewhere???

Like I said upthread, I don't have overnight guests anyway and I rarely stay elsewhere, so it isn't an issue. If I choose to share, then that is up to me - people don't get to help themselves to stuff. If you want stuff for your stay, bring it with you - I can manage it and I'm not that organised

This was the first time anyone managed to use up all the hot water on their own. If I had known they liked long showers I could have put the immersion heater on too.

No I don't keep and eye on food and drink, if we have guests I like to get in plenty of vittles, including their favourite tipple.

You do get the odd person who takes the piss though!

And imo it is incredibly rude to assume its okay to help yourself to stuff that doesn't belong to you but I totally understand that some people think it is acceptable, and that's fair enough.

Different strokes for different folks I guess ^^

Although my opinion may be tainted by an ex boyfriend who would come over for the weekend (same town), his mates used to turn up and he would merrily provide unlimited tea, coffee etc using the stuff I had bought.

Oh yeah, I'd be alright with someone I invited around availing of anything they need to make their stay pleasant and comfortable but I wouldn't be keen on extending the invitation to any random off the streets who has a nodding acquaintance with my guest.

Any food would be provided by the takeaway/restaurant.

If you want unlimited food, towels, shower products, then there are plenty of cheap hotels available.

Depends who it is. Close family, would be fine! Friends, I would ask.

lol Liva you do sound quite defensive towards your hypothetical guests. Lots of my friends don't bother carting around entire bottles of shampoo etc and just use a bit of mine. I doubt they'd help themselves to stuff that was obviously expensive (e.g. perfume) and I probably wouldn't leave it out anyway but if you can't spare a drop of shower gel for your guests you're either too hard up to have guests or very stingy! I assume you don't begrudge them a bit of loo roll!

I'm only defensive because certain posters seem to think I'm evil and nasty! I don't like being expected to share anything, which doesn't mean that I never share, just that I don't like people expecting it or just helping themselves. It works for me.

I don't want overnight guests. I certainly don't invite people to stay.

I wouldn't dream of helping myself in someone else's home to things, including cups of tea and coffee, but as I said I recognise that not everyone feels like that. If it isn't offered, I do without.

And I wouldn't have a clue whether something was expensive or not so why risk it? Take your own stuff, you don't inconvenience your host

What if you forget sanitary ware! Do your guests need DIY tampons? Or do you buy the really cheap ones for emergencies and print off a map with a chemist on it?

If I'm away unexpectedly then I'd hope the host wouldn't mind me using whatever if I needed a shower. If I'm planning a stay I take my own stuff. Not saying the hosts isn't good enough, it's just something you pack.

With food I would never help myself in like my in laws/friends. But with family I'd be more comfy rooting around. Same with drinks, would wait till offered for former/make my own latter.

Personally, I'd feel offended if someone brought and used their own shower gel whilst staying at my house. If course, that's assuming they don't have a skin condition.
I've certainly learnt something new on this thread!

Just to return, with guests, it's help yourself to whatever. No questions asked.

We have a whole walk in cupboard stocked with toiletries, soaps, toothpaste, various facial stuff I've tried, Lush stuff, sanitary wear...

Mummy if I was packing to go away I would take a shower bag so you'd never know. : P

I would assume that an adult would think to pack their own sanitary products. If they didn't then they could use one of my sanitary towels (I don't/can't use internal products). Doesn't mean I would be happy about it though.

Do the mooncup wearers buy stuff especially for guests? Genuine question

I have a basket full of everything. There was a time when my period decided to come 2 weeks after I'd last had one, so obviously wasn't bargaining on it. But I have tampons of most varieties, towels & even incontinence pads. (There was a time when a tampon and towel would last an hour so used those beauties instead!)

Livia come and stay in our guest room, I'm going to fill you full of hospitable joy. Even breakfast in bed to make you feel like a queen, how's that?

Liva I think that's fair enough - if you feel uncomfortable sharing that kind of stuff then maybe overnight guests aren't for you and you've worked that out for yourself anyway so I definitely don't think you're nasty or mean you just have much more need for control over your stuff than average.

I think the thing is when you invite someone to stay you're simplicity assuming they'll use some of your stuff - loo roll, cups of tea, bit of electricity etc. and for me shower gel is included in that.

implicitly not simplicity,

I've never known anyone who would deliberately come out with pads or tampons if they thought they might need them and I definitely don't begrudge them one if they're caught without (I've given many tampons to strangers in pub toilets!).

I've given many tampons to strangers in pub toilets

I can't even get my head round someone asking a total stranger for one - it is on the same level as people coming up and asking for money in the town centre.

I must live in a really strange world where people don't take the piss

*I can't even get my head round someone asking a total stranger for one - it is on the same level as people coming up and asking for money in the town centre.
I must live in a really strange world where people don't take the piss

How is asking for a tampon if you're caught short either taking the piss, or the same as someone begging for money? (leaving aside how shit it is that anyone should be reduced to having to ask for money in the town centre).

I think a world where someone would begrudge a woman a tampon is not strange so much as mean-spirited.

Livia - I understand where you are coming from. The only person's shampoo I borrow is my twin sister.

A world where people come up to randomers and ask for stuff is odd to me but I get that not everyone feels the same way.

If I got 'caught short' I would sooner use loo roll from a public lav than ask a stranger.

The people who ask for money seem to think I'm potentially a soft touch though