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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does this man sound awful or is it just me?

60 replies

Meowstro · 14/02/2017 14:41

I'm sitting in a hospital bed next to a woman and her partner, told the nurse she didn't know what she was talking about on subject of his partner's mc. He then tells his partner that she's lucky he's with her as no one else would stay with her in hospital like he has. He's told her to get rid of her top she's wearing because he doesn't like it and when she asked if he would buy her a new one, he said no, she'd have to get a 9-5 job to pay for things. He's taking to her like she's an idiot because English isn't her first language and his seems to be (just about), just like with the nurse. He's dictating what she needs to text to a friend. He's complaining about how long they've been waiting for doctor to come and see them and she's now apologising to him for it.

I already want to deck him and he's muttering about me under his breath due to the fact I'm wearing my husband's shirt!?

Is it me or is he a dick?

OP posts:
TheCatsMother99 · 14/02/2017 14:44

Maaaasive dick.

If there are concerns about his behaviour could you raise it to someone there?

Guitargirl · 14/02/2017 14:45

It's not you.

But there are dicks everywhere. Just be grateful he's not your husband.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 14/02/2017 14:46

Oh that's sad Sad The poor woman

xStefx · 14/02/2017 14:47

Poor Poor woman, I would inform the nurse of his attitude and just say its upsetting to hear . This woman actually may want some time to herself without him around to get over her MC. Yes, he is being a dick

HerOtherHalf · 14/02/2017 14:47

He's a dick. Why would you even doubt it?

Original poster
Meowstro · 14/02/2017 14:53

I've been sitting here all day thinking maybe I'm just nosey. She seems to be OK/used to it - I went to the loo whilst he went for a smoke, I looked at her thinking maybe she'd give me a sign but nothing? The nurse hasn't checked in on her since his rudeness towards her.

OP posts:
CookieLady · 14/02/2017 14:54

Absolute fucking dickhead.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 14/02/2017 14:59

What an arseAngry Could you accidentally spill a bedpan on him? Seriously though, he sounds emotionally abusive. Sad

xStefx · 14/02/2017 14:59

Horrible thing to have to listen to, your right she probably isn't ok with it, just used to it- poor love probably has no confidence left.

DeterminedToChange · 14/02/2017 15:06

I know midwives are very keen to act if there's domestic abuse. I think I'd ask for a quiet word with the person in charge of the ward and report this. Poor woman.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2017 15:10

What words did he mutter about you wearing your husband's shirt?

Just out of curiosity

Megatherium · 14/02/2017 15:17

What an arsehole. I second the idea of alerting the nurses to the very strong likelihood of abuse.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 14/02/2017 15:18

I would raise my concerns with the nursing staff, he is being emotionally abusive toward her. If he speaks to her in that way in public goodness knows how he is towards her when they are in private.

EweAreHere · 14/02/2017 15:21

Alternatively, when he's off on one of his smoking breaks, you could tell her directly that her partner sounds like a massive controlling, abusive dick and she deserves to be treated better than that. Tell her she can ask for help if she wants to leave him but doesn't know how. Plant the seed.

sotiredbutworthit · 14/02/2017 15:21

Tell the nurses. They can at least broach the subject with her.

harderandharder2breathe · 14/02/2017 15:24

Definitely dickhead, possibly abusive.

Poor woman Sad

BouncingBlueberry · 14/02/2017 15:25

Report this please. Massive safeguarding alarm bells are ringing. Poor woman. I hope they keep her in and kick him out at end of visiting so she can get some peace and quiet.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2017 15:27

Ewe, most Mumsnetters won't even politely tell their own neighbour, they're using the wrong bin, because they 'don't like confrontation'.

So I really can't see that happening...

Foxysoxy01 · 14/02/2017 15:33

Please do report it to the most senior nurse you can.

Could you maybe say to the guy his aggressive way of speaking to his wife is upsetting you and just because his wife puts up with his abuse does not mean you have to be subjected to listening to it. Obviously only if you feel like you can otherwise report to most senior nurse you can and headphones with music or TV.

Topseyt · 14/02/2017 15:34

Sounds like an arsewipe with a massive ego.

Does he ever go home so that his partner and the rest of you can get a break from his twattery?

January87 · 14/02/2017 15:35

Please raise this with a nurse or the head of the ward. He is being emotionally abusive and gaslighting her. 'Nobody else would stay with you in hospital like this, you're so lucky you have me' what a fucking ass.

Original poster
Meowstro · 14/02/2017 15:36

I'll see what I can do, they've been taken off for a quiet word. The toilets all have anonymous domestic abuse line numbers in with detailed posters visable.

Just, "look at the state of her wearing a man's shirt. Disgusting!".

OP posts:
Topseyt · 14/02/2017 15:37

Meant to say that during that break you could try to quietly mention his attitude to the nurses or midwives, though they may well have already picked up on some of it.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2017 15:38

Very strange

DesolateWaist · 14/02/2017 15:39

Just, "look at the state of her wearing a man's shirt. Disgusting!".

Are you kidding me?

Sorry but I would have had to say something if some dickwad had said that to me.