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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call in sick?

155 replies

DreamCloud99 · 13/02/2017 06:43

Background:
I have ME.
I work part time in retail (travel agent)

I've recently had an informal meeting about my sickness (odd days here and there related to ME as well as a three month absence related to my ME).

I have 5 year old twins.

I've been poorly constantly since November with chest infections , viral illnesses , water infections etc all related to ME and how run down I am.

I've dragged myself in to work throughout (I had one day where I just couldn't ).

Today I'm very weak , I have a very sore throat and chest , I haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time as I'm so so exhausted . I've also got cystitis and an aching back due to all the coughing . I feel nauseous.

I have to drop the twins off at school - a 40 minute drive through traffic , then drive to work which is another 30 minutes away.

I just can't face it Sad

I've zero energy and I'm aching from head to toe .

I'll be in trouble if I call in sick.
We are short on staff today due to a training day.

But I'm in tears as I feel so bad.

I don't know what to do ?

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 13/02/2017 08:54

OK! I completely and utterly disagree with your feedback in every single way Grin as if you think I deserve jail for legally buying something in a EU country......

good job I didn't buy Valium hey? you'd have me hung!

anyway, back to OP

Hatemylifenow · 13/02/2017 08:57

Why is it irresponsible?? Genuine question

NattyBatty · 13/02/2017 08:59

Don't feel guilty that you have run out of spoons!

butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

user1471537877 · 13/02/2017 09:00

Hi op

Please call in sick or you'll carry on till you're off twice as long

I have been where you are, got far worse it's a long story and after 10 years by chance met a physio who helped me get much better

I'm going to give you some odd suggestions here, feel free to ignore but it may just change your life

Please book a gp appointment, get them to check your B12 and homocysteine levels, the last one is really important

Low B12 is common in ME and the level accepted in this country is out of step with the rest of the world sadly

Low B12 leads to secretion of a protein called homocysteine which causes all sorts of problems and irritates the bladder causing infection like symptoms

Take care of yourself, ME is an horrible Flowers

DrivingMeBonkers · 13/02/2017 09:05

What does OTC mean? is it 'over the counter' ?

DrivingMeBonkers · 13/02/2017 09:06

I have to drop the twins off at school - a 40 minute drive through traffic, then drive to work which is another 30 minutes away.

If you can get up and take your children to school, then you are fit for work.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 13/02/2017 09:07

It does indeed

as opposed to "via downloading TOR and cruising the dark net" which is, not optimal....

Original poster
DreamCloud99 · 13/02/2017 09:09

Driving you'll see from my update I did not take my children to school.

I also disagree with you - you clearly have no understanding of ME - it is easier to take the children to school than have them at home when I can barely care for myself today .

I can't rest with twins around.

And I can guarantee the school absence officer wouldn't be impressed either .

OP posts:
strawberrypenguin · 13/02/2017 09:11

Well for a start not having eaten for that long will make you feel like crap so I suggest you eat something and make sure in the future that you eat regular meals. I presume you fed your children so you could easily have had what they did.

Original poster
DreamCloud99 · 13/02/2017 09:17

strawberry it's not about making food - you can be so exhausted you can't actually muster the energy to eat

OP posts:
PenelopeFlintstone · 13/02/2017 09:17

Hi MaisyPops,
thanks and, yes, I understand that's what User meant. I think having one of those symptoms might not be a reason to have a day off work but having all of them combined should be enough to warrant a sick day, surely? It was sore throat and chest, aching back and cystitis. Not to mention that the throat and chest is probably contagious. It sounds enough to me but perhaps I'm a softy! Grin
I'm not in the UK though. I'm in Australia. Maybe it's different.

sum1killthepawpatrollers · 13/02/2017 09:19

fuck me, someones poked the vipers nest with a stick this morning!!

its not as simple as getting up and moving about, taking some paras or eating something when you have ME, its a chronic illness that wipes you totally out and sometimes literally doing nothing is the only way to try to prevent it developing into more.
OP, take it easy today, hope you pick up soon

PurpleDaisies · 13/02/2017 09:24

If you can get up and take your children to school, then you are fit for work.

That is not automatically true. How is a drive to school and back the same as doing a full day of work.

A lot of posters appear to have no knowledge of ME. It's not the sort of thing where you can just push through and it'll be fine. Usually you end up feeling dreadful for double the time you've "pushed through".

PenelopeFlintstone · 13/02/2017 09:32

I agree Purple Daisies! It!s totally different!
This is like the threads about kids having a day off school.
So uptight, puritanical and overly obedient!

moreslackthanslick · 13/02/2017 09:33

Ugh that bloody spoons theory always makes me nauseous. I have a chronic illness (M.S) it can be applied to as well. I haven't taken a day off sick with it though since 2010. Admittedly I only work very part time out of the house as I run my own business at home.

Sorry OP, you sound like you're not taking care of yourself to me and quite full of self pity. Stop defining yourself by constant, "I have M.E - it's so hard" and push yourself to do the things you should do (like eat) to take care of yourself so that you're capable of looking after your twins and working. If it really Is that hard then quit the job and let it go to someone else who can turn up and be there for the business.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 13/02/2017 09:39

I think many posters do understand how debilitating ME can be. But they are also acknowledging the OP''s valid concerns about ringing in sick again. As previous posters have said, if reasonable adjustments have been made (as the OP says they have) but her absence rate is still high, at some point the employers may well decide that she can't do her job.

memyselfandaye · 13/02/2017 09:40

Jail for buying antibiotics? Wtf! Grin

You're very very angry user, do you think the police and the courts don't have enough work to keep them busy?

You can buy them and Ventolin online in the UK with a private prescription without seeing a doctor too.

Original poster
DreamCloud99 · 13/02/2017 09:40

moreslack well good for you - you deserve a medal Hmm

If you have a chronic illness then you should know it affects everyone differently .

Nowhere have I self pitied - I'm simply trying to explain how ME can affect me

And defining myself with "I have ME - it's so hard ?! " Shock

I'm pleased for you that your illness allows you to work to full capacity and you can proudly say you've never had a day off sick - good for you !

It's not the same for everyone . I've lost most of the thing I enjoyed in life to this illness . Including my career .

I find your post downright insulting !

OP posts:
Original poster
DreamCloud99 · 13/02/2017 09:43

I'm coming off the thread now.

I've called in sick and need to rest - thank you to the majority of posters who provided constructive and reassuring advice Flowers

OP posts:
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 13/02/2017 09:44

I have come across this particular user on quite a few threads. Always manages to insult or wind someone up...

Sunnysky2016 · 13/02/2017 09:44

Just to send you a of {flowers}. I have fibro and have had constant chest infections and viral infections since September, I havent moved off the sofa for two days. Everything has taken so much energy I'm drained. So I know how you feel. No suggestions sorry, it's so difficult to get others to understand.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 13/02/2017 09:44

moreslackthanslick

well, when they handed out empathy you were clearly not in that queue, AT ALL

I am pleased you are managing your MS, but as you should well know ME is a complex condition, and maybe OP feels sorry for herself because (a) she is depressed and (b) she feels shit all the time and (c) she is scared because she can see her job potentially being lost

Sunnysky2016 · 13/02/2017 09:45

My flowers didn't come up- why not? they always normally do!

Original poster
DreamCloud99 · 13/02/2017 09:45

FFS moreslack just FFS Angry

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 13/02/2017 09:47

Comparison is really helpful. Hmm
I have ME, and this weekend I slept for 40 out of 48 hours because I 'Pushed through it' last week. And I'm still in bed feeling like I've not slept in a month.
MS is a different disease with different symptoms, comparing isn't helpful.
user you're batshit. That's all.

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