To call in sick?

[DreamCloud99]

Background:
I have ME.
I work part time in retail (travel agent)

I've recently had an informal meeting about my sickness (odd days here and there related to ME as well as a three month absence related to my ME).

I have 5 year old twins.

I've been poorly constantly since November with chest infections , viral illnesses , water infections etc all related to ME and how run down I am.

I've dragged myself in to work throughout (I had one day where I just couldn't ).

Today I'm very weak , I have a very sore throat and chest , I haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time as I'm so so exhausted . I've also got cystitis and an aching back due to all the coughing . I feel nauseous.

I have to drop the twins off at school - a 40 minute drive through traffic , then drive to work which is another 30 minutes away.

I just can't face it

I've zero energy and I'm aching from head to toe .

I'll be in trouble if I call in sick.
We are short on staff today due to a training day.

But I'm in tears as I feel so bad.

I don't know what to do ?

[Hatemylifenow]

What a nice helpful comment cuddly. Would you say the same to someone with cancer?

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

Sunnysky2016

WQRONG BRACKERS! YOU USED {

you need to use [

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

I am hiding thread, I am pretty used to AIBU bit its cunt o clock today clearly, nasty people who like to use the internet to upset people

[wifeyhun]

Some horrible responses on this thread.

Hope you get better soon Dream

[toptoe]

Could CAB (citizen' advice bureau) give you some advice on sickness and what adjustments need to be made by work? If you think that you'll be going off sick again then it would help you to know your rights and also what you need to get put in place at work.

It might take the stress out of calling in sick when you are unable to work. And you sound to me like you were unable to work - it just isn't feasible sometimes when you are unwell.

[user1484226561]

Jail for misuse of antibiotics yes!You're very very angry user, do you think the police and the courts don't have enough work to keep them busy?

do you not realise this is going to KILL your grandchildren. How ignorant and selfish is it possible to be?

Oh its "batshit" is it, you are going to KILL people, hundreds of thousands of people, but fine, you don't care, just keep going ,

It will shortly become a criminal offence, and with a very heavy penalty.

[user1484226561]

Yes I m very very angry about this issue, that people can be so blind and selfish and negligent.

Anyone with an ounce of intelligence should realise the complete immorality of this kind of casual use of antibiotics.

but hmm fine, just call me "batshit", and carry on murdering your grandchildren and every one elses.

[Hatemylifenow]

I still don't understand why user, are you going to bother explaining?

[isupposeitsverynice]

This antibiotic bollocks has fuck all to do with op's thread, it's not even her taking them - start a new thread if you feel so strongly. I hope you feel a bit better after some rest OP

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

user is referring to the overuse of uneccessary antibiotics leading to antibiotic resistance, it's a very real and very serious problem.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

its my fault this issue came up (ish) , and sorry that this has derailed it.

user has a point, and its certainly made me think twice actually

I just don't see another solution other than feeling shit for 3 weeks

[VladmirsPoutine]

user you're being goady as fuck this morning!

[Ohyesiam]

This sounds a horrible situation.
My sister had amazing success with her ME when she saw a naturopath, she did have to totally change her diet, but saw the benefits from the first week. Much less limb pain, and increasing energy.

Best of luck op xx

[Barbielovesken]

Oh Dream,

I'm so sorry you're feeling so rubbish. I am completely ignorant about ME but I do have a chronic illness myself (chrons) so when I hear someone with a CI say they're feeling shit - I automatically sympathise. Its not just the illness - its the associated side effects of the illness and the associated side effects of the drugs you're probably taking. Its so difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced such an illness exactly how debilitating and exhausting it can be - how difficult once normal activities now are. I'm envious of myself before diagnoses and I'm envious of anyone else with their full health. I bet you are too.
Its also horrible to feel torn - having to choose between looking after yourself or going to work. Many people dont have to face this decision so frequently. Its an added pressure to working and parenting life - which is pressurised enough as it is!.

I've nothing to add - I'm happy you've called in sick. Theres nothing you can do about it so dont feel guilty. Of course you'd prefer to be well and energetic and able to go to work each day - this is not your fault. I'm sorry that your boss isnt more understanding though - its hard to be sick and worrying you'll be 'in trouble' on top of it.

I'm being useless here. I just wanted to say that I'm sending sympathy and unmumsnetty hugs and I hope you're feeling better soon, you poor love x

[Kiroro]

Well you sound sick to me OP! Hope you did manage to take a day off and rest up.

[HarryTheHippo]

Hugs. I have ME and am still in bed while my kids are playing. I feel so bad. I want to be the mum that's baking and playing with them but my body won't play ball. Its such an awful condition. I wish I had physical help.

Wrt work I had to stop working as in my line of work absences just coukdnt be managed regardless of reason.

[SargeantAngua]

from another with ME. When I've found it hard to eat smoothies and soups have been good. I hope things improve for you soon.

[memyselfandaye]

Calm down user you're going to burst something. You sound so angry at the world, maybe you need to see someone?

Or just stop being a goady cunt, have a day off, it must be exhausting.

[user1484226561]

I still don't understand why user, are you going to bother explaining? I don't actually believe there is anyone that ignorant, people are dying right now today now this minute because of antibiotic resistance from the over use and abuse and failure to monitor and record their use. This issue is escalating. Within a few years there are going to be ten fold more deaths, within a decade, hundred fold, and within a generation, hundreds of thousands of lives lost, from this insane, selfish, pointless behaviour.

Calm down user you're going to burst something. You sound so angry at the world, maybe you need to see someone?

no, you who are NOT angry at this irresponsible behaviour which will cost the lives of your grandchildren, you need to see someone, there is something wrong with you.

[Greyponcho]

Seems that (aside from people going off on bizarre tangents) some posters don't realise that everyone's chronic illnesses vary for each person.
I have a CI and whilst I empathise with the OP, I don't know exactly how she feels. But it seems that she has a genuine desire to work, to keep working to sustain herself and her family without having to rely on benefits to do so (that's why the government has Access to Work, to keep people in work by investing in tools to help them do that rather than be on benefits/unemployed).
She's taking action to reduce school commute to help reduce demands on her energy.
The trouble with a CI is that you have to get used to a 'new normal' - that is, accepting what you can no longer do and what your limitations are. This is hard to do - especially when you think that you should be able to do all the things you used to. It takes a good long time to adjust (and quite honestly, mourn the loss of your old life), but the process really isn't helped when you have people making pointless shitty comparisons to what "they CAN do" and what "you SHOULD BE DOING", I.e. The same as them, based on their poor judgment/perceptions and lack of understanding of you.
OP, you may need to reevaluate whether this is working for you and if you need to review the reasonable measures, it may mean that you might need to reduce your hours for a while, maybe temporarily, so that the demands on your time meet what you are physically able to give. Yes, it's shitty. Btw, I have an arrangement with my HR that I can 'budget' my sick leave as I need to - any hours I miss working on a bad week are made up by my sick leave hours, but if I use them all then I have unpaid leave.
I don't want to do this, but considering that I'm doing so to match my capabilities in line with my 'new normal', its something I have to do. Maybe speak to your employer?

[Greyponcho]

P.s. Can't believe the differences in opinions on this post and one from last week:
Chronic condition: MN verdict = get into work you lazy mare.

Poster with a cold who 'prefers to let their own body get on with things instead of taking decongestants etc, fancies letting colleagues do the work for once': MN verdict = oh you poor love, you sound so ill

[laurzj82]

There is some horrible fucking nasty people on here. You should be ashamed of yourselves and hope you are never in the position of having an illness.

OP if you're still on here I applaud you for managing twins and a job with ME. I used to have it and its awful. I'm thankfully recovered now so am very very lucky. Hope you feel better soon (and think you did the right thing calling in sick)

[memyselfandaye]

User Why do you keep referring to my imaginary grandchildren?

How do you know if my 6yr old is able to have children? I mean if he had previously had some sort of childhood illness or condition that prevented him from fathering children your constant banging on about my "grandchildren" would be incredibly twatty.

TAKE A PILL USER

Oh and fwiw I have to take a course of antibiotics every 8 weeks, lots and lots of them, and steroids. I don't think I'll be carted off to your fantasy jail anytime soon.

Oh and what is the source of your information for the hundreds of thousands of lives lost within 30yrs? Do tell, without googling.

[booklooker]

Oh and what is the source of your information for the hundreds of thousands of lives lost within 30yrs? Do tell, without googling.

I think maybe you should have done a bit more googling before posting that, isn't it very well documented that the over use of anti-biotics is having a damaging effect on world health.

I got this within secs of googling

And at least 23,000 people die annually from antibiotic-resistant infections.

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/antibiotics/art-20045720?pg=2

I a not sure this has anything to do with the OP, so sorry about that.