To call in sick?

[DreamCloud99]

Background:
I have ME.
I work part time in retail (travel agent)

I've recently had an informal meeting about my sickness (odd days here and there related to ME as well as a three month absence related to my ME).

I have 5 year old twins.

I've been poorly constantly since November with chest infections , viral illnesses , water infections etc all related to ME and how run down I am.

I've dragged myself in to work throughout (I had one day where I just couldn't ).

Today I'm very weak , I have a very sore throat and chest , I haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time as I'm so so exhausted . I've also got cystitis and an aching back due to all the coughing . I feel nauseous.

I have to drop the twins off at school - a 40 minute drive through traffic , then drive to work which is another 30 minutes away.

I just can't face it

I've zero energy and I'm aching from head to toe .

I'll be in trouble if I call in sick.
We are short on staff today due to a training day.

But I'm in tears as I feel so bad.

I don't know what to do ?

[Willow2016]

OP
let yourself be pampered and try not to worry.
You know your own body and something was wrong and now you know why.

I had ME donkeys years ago and I didnt get out of bed appart from for the toilet for weeks in the early stages, I know how bloody awful it is.

[Willow2016]

Amaried

Yep popping a couple of paracetamol will cure up pneumonia no bother!
OP is in fecking hospital and gonna be off for a bit more than a day!

[Willow2016]

User
ONE PERSON SAID THAT THE HAVE STARTED ANTIBIOTICS, ONE!

Maybe you should vent your anger at the real people who demand antibiotics from their gp for the sniffles etc not someone who regularly gets chest infections in winter and knows what antibiotics to take without wasting her gps time?

Insulting people isnt going to win anyone over to your 'mission' anyway.

People with chest infections generally need antibiotics, my son does plus steroids so you gonna send him to juvenile court?

OP now needs antibiotics cos she is properly ill, even worse than suspected, should she be denied meds in favour of someone in 30 years time?

This isnt the time nor the place start your own ranty thread.

[Willow2016]

You have just decided for yourself to take antibiotics, with no regulation or monitoring. That is completely and shockingly selfish and immoral.

And the prize for the most OTT reaction ever goes to...

WTF is selfish and immoral about treating a condition you regularly get with the same antibiotics you regularly get just not having to wait a week to see your GP (and get worse)

She bought them OVER THE COUNTER presumably in a chemist call the drugs squad!

[PageStillNotFound404]

Hope you recover quickly OP - glad you listened to sensible advice and got yourself checked out.

I am thoroughly disgusted with some of the responses on this thread. No doubt some of you went straight back to work after your empathectomies as well?

[Oneiroi]

Mummytime the OP has been to the hospital and been diagnosed with pneumonia.

[mummytime]

I would say if you have symptoms like this do go to the Doctors. There are lots of things that are "treatable" as well as ME/CFS that have the same kind of non-specific symptoms. It is always worth nagging at Doctors to at least get all the blood tests etc.

[Oneiroi]

Greyponcho that was one of the blood tests I had early on when they were trying to diagnose what was wrong with me and it came back normal. Strange that it isn't a standard test they do for everyone! How long was it before they realised that it was gluten making you ill?

OP how are you feeling?

[Greyponcho]

Just out of curiosity, have any of the posters with ME ever been tested for gluten sensitivities?
I was mis-diagnosed with ME but turns out that gluten was the culprit

[lougle]

Yep, pneumonia would explain just not feeling like you could drag yourself in! Oh dear. I hope you recover quickly.

[MsJamieFraser]

Do you work FT or PT OP, just wondering if you can drop a shift to ease the strain in yourself? Would this be an option or even a reduced work load.

[Fighterofthenightman]

ME is a physical illness and comes under the equality act but it is also possible and usually understandable that employers cannot continue with an employee who as OP said, has had three months continuous sick in a calendar year and other days too. As long as they have made reasonable adjustments and gone through the appropriate processes they shouldn't be deemed to be unsympathetic or not understanding on that basis.

And that userxxx poster is correct about antibiotic resistance but proved themselves to be not someone to attempt to engage with with their 'worse than rape' comment and getting a shop worker sacked for talking casually about antibiotics (but that bit is almost certainly complete bollocks and on the off chance it isn't, that poster is......I think you can guess).

[Hatemylifenow]

Amaried

You didn't fancy reading the full thread then?

[Amaried]

If I was in your circumstance I'd drag myself in.. the next stage of disciplinary would cause me more stress than a day at work

[RandomMess]

Oh no, pneumonia is awful, DH took ages to fully recover from it!

wishing you a speedy recovery

[Oneiroi]

Milly I understand that GPs need to rule out other physical causes of people's symptoms that they do have effective tests for, but ME is not a psychological illness (coping with it can cause psychological problems, but that causal relationship is the other way around). As I said research has progressed a lot in recent years and while they still haven't got to the bottom of what causes it and how the physical processes work, they have firmly established physical effects of ME such as changes in gut bacteria, the immune system and brain matter. Obviously there is still no cure at present, only treatment for symptoms, but it isn't a case of being touchy about it, it can be very damaging to imply that it is caused by psychological illness. This makes it harder for medical researchers to obtain the funding they need, as well as misleading patients and leading to inappropriate medical advice in many cases, even people being placed on anti-depressants when they don't need them.

I am very glad to hear you're so much better though. And hope that you can now dispose of that T shirt!

[millymae]

Hi oneiroi - Yes I meant it exactly as it is written. In my case it was absolutely the right thing to do. This thread isn't about me I know, and we are all different, but if I tell you that after the longstanding problem with an ingrowing toenail ( entirely my fault because I left it far too long before seeking help) I developed labyrinthitis that I didn't properly recover from, you may see where I was coming from. I was back and forth to the doctors for weeks and each time I had bloods done the results were worse than the time before. I was losing weight, looked terrible, had aching joints, an upset stomach and absolutely no energy. My liver enzymes in particular were dreadful, and my GP was absolutely right to make sure that there wasn't a cancer somewhere. I had CT scans, MRI scans, an endoscopy and a sigmoidoscopy and thankfully apart from some nasal polyps and a hiatus hernia which I didn't know I had there was nothing suspicious found. I know a lot of people are very touchy about the psychological aspects of ME, but I make no apologies for what I said. I really didn't mean anything by it and certainly was not being unsympathetic. Believe me, I know exactly how awful ME can be. I've been there and got the t shirt in an extra large size.

[HarryTheHippo]

Thanks for the encouragement and good luck with your baby. :)

We don't have any family support (just the opposite in fact) so the years of sleepless nights haven't helped and I kept thinking I was extra tired due to not sleeping etc etc. I wonder if I can be rereferred to the me clinic. Will ask.

[Oneiroi]

It must be even more challenging with children, because you can't really pace looking after them! I am expecting my first this week so will also soon have to figure out how to manage my condition around having a family, and have struggled more recently because the pregnancy has limited my exercise, so have some rebuilding to do now to get back to where I was. But now I believe it's possible I think it will be easier.

I found it very hard to let people help me at first. If you have good family and friends around please lean on them as much as you can do that you can fit in the time you need for rest and exercise, it will pay off. I totally get what you say about the frustration! Patience (not naturally my strong point ) and stubbornness are your best weapons. It would be weird if you weren't feeling frustrated. Try to channel that into determination to change it, a tiny step at a time, and don't let the GP fob you off telling you that you are depressed if you aren't, that's the last thing you need.

The group sessions GPs often refer people to can be a mixed bag, it can easily turn into a place people come to complain and leave you feeling quite negative. I'd try to push the GP can get you some one-to-one specialist support on graded exercise and be prepared for it to be slow progress at first. You won't see changes day to day but over months it will build up and you can start to feel like yourself again.

[HarryTheHippo]

I don't feel particularly depressed. I feel very frustrated. But all the symptons of not wanting to do anything/exhaustion etc could be either. I dont know what to say ro the Dr when I go!

[HarryTheHippo]

Wow that's incredible! I was referred to an me/cfs clinic after I was diagnosed about 10 years ago which did have information on pacing but I've since had kids and life's changed so much and I feel awful.

[Oneiroi]

Harry it is such a delicate balance, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I'd recommend pushing to get referred to a specialist if at all possible rather than relying on your GP. Even with the best intentions many GPs know little about ME or haven't caught up since the dark days where the received wisdom was that it was all in patients' heads.

It's hard to disentangle because if you've been struggling for a while you may well have become depressed too, and as you say the treatment for depression won't really help you overcome the physical challenges of ME. But it may be a good idea to focus on stabilising yourself from the depression first because managing ME successfully, in my experience, requires relentless positivity and determination that can be impossible if you are depressed.

Exercise has to be built up very slowly and it takes a long time to tune into your body so you know when to stop. You have to accept that sometimes you'll misjudge it, do too much and make yourself ill but gradually you can start to feel where the limit is and push against it gently and slowly. Nobody can really set out a plan for you of how much to increase activity because it will be so individual.

At first I was sleeping 18 hours a day and was in agony walking 100 metres. S
Six years on, having changed jobs, by last year I was comfortably running 5km and working full time. When you feel that different kind of exhaustion you get from ME, that 'fog', you need to stop and rest, not push yourself over the edge. But over time you can gradually increase activity. It is so frustrating at first, going from 100 metres to 110 metres. But if you are patient and kind to yourself it can work. I wish you the best of luck.

[HarryTheHippo]

I'm in a mess with mine. I tried to do more walking and now struggle with walking far at all. I'm waking up exhausted and manage a few hours up before wanting to lie down. I'm due to go back to the Dr. after more blood tests. Thing is I'd it's more depression then treatment seems so different - pushing through and exercise... To needing to rest.

[Oneiroi]

*Once he'd excluded any physical cause for my problems
*
I'm not sure if this is what you meant to write Millymae, because the rest of your post is very supportive, but this is unhelpful, misleading and risks continuing to propagate the huge misunderstandings about ME. The causes and physical processes behind the illness are still not well understood but the myth that ME somehow has no physical cause because doctors don't yet have an easy test for diagnosis has been thoroughly debunked. Some very good scientific research has been carried out in recent years showing significant immune system differences in ME sufferers and changes in brain matter. Far more research is needed, it is massively underfunded compared to research into other chronic illnesses, but there is solid evidence that the old assertions that it was a psychological issue were nonsense and very damaging to many sufferers (ironically, actually leading many of them to develop psychological problems subsequently). Given the connection and impacts on the immune system it's entirely plausible your condition was triggered by antibiotics. Mine was triggered by an operation.

Well done on your recovery, it takes so much determination. I also manage my condition through exercise, although this had to be built up painfully slowly over many years. But it is great to hear more positive stories that show it can be done with the right support.

[HarryTheHippo]

Ah yes. I had people at work tell me, "I get tired too." And friends. And even now if I ever say I've had to send the day in bed I get, "oh it would be lovely to be able to spend the day in bed." It's so so different when you have to. And all the things you were supposed to do still need doing by...