To call in sick?

[DreamCloud99]

Background:
I have ME.
I work part time in retail (travel agent)

I've recently had an informal meeting about my sickness (odd days here and there related to ME as well as a three month absence related to my ME).

I have 5 year old twins.

I've been poorly constantly since November with chest infections , viral illnesses , water infections etc all related to ME and how run down I am.

I've dragged myself in to work throughout (I had one day where I just couldn't ).

Today I'm very weak , I have a very sore throat and chest , I haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time as I'm so so exhausted . I've also got cystitis and an aching back due to all the coughing . I feel nauseous.

I have to drop the twins off at school - a 40 minute drive through traffic , then drive to work which is another 30 minutes away.

I just can't face it

I've zero energy and I'm aching from head to toe .

I'll be in trouble if I call in sick.
We are short on staff today due to a training day.

But I'm in tears as I feel so bad.

I don't know what to do ?

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Yes it's a disability and is covered by the Equalities Act, as is my condition, but that doesn't mean you csn have unlimited time off without consequence, you can be dismissed for medical inefficiency if reasonable adjustments have been made and regular and effective service is still not provided by the employee.

[ILikeBeansWithKetchup]

And, I meant to add, if you do go on after your mammoth commute when you are ill, you might make yourself worse : that is no help to anyone at all. Least of all you.
If you love your jib, that's great, but I think there must be more sympathetic employers. Hope you feel better soon.

[HoobleDooble]

Would phoning in make you feel worse through the stress of worrying what will happen when you go back?

I've been in your position and dragged myself in so that I could show my boss how crap I felt and get sent home ... didn't work, Boss was out on home visits all day, so I basically sat with my head on my desk all day, wishing I'd phoned in.

[NattyBatty]

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) is a bitch of an illness and often mistaken for "me me me syndrome" by people who have never had a chronic illness. Unfortunately your manager might be one of those people.

In your position I would take the day off, and then have a long talking with your manager at your return to work meeting. There is usually a space where they have to write any information about support you need at work, so that would be the time to cover it if you can't bring it up during the normal course of events. As stated in PP, you are covered by the disability discrimination act, so they need to make reasonable adjustments for you. If they haven't done so already, you need to put some pressure on them to help with this. If they haven't made any moves to help you then there is no way they can sack you over it (your union rep will have a field day if they try!)

I hope you feel better soon.

[PenelopeFlintstone]

userxxxxxx none of this would actually be a normal reason to miss work
What??!!
If it's like this at your workplace I'd try to find a better job!

[Tomselleckhaskindeyes]

Op I have a similar debilitating illness and have had twins too. I had to take a drastic decision and took a year off to get myself right. I was lucky I had redundancy money. (My employer wanted me to stay) i recently have gone back to work but I'm self employed now so I can plan my own work and time. I had to make a drastic decision but the relief of not having to ring in sick all the time is immense.

[TheNaze73]

I'd dose up & go in. Are your company looking at any type of compromise agreement?

[Rickandmorty]

With ME I would not dose up/ force yourself/ try to get through. Forcing yourself to achieve things with ME can land you in hot water with regards to your illness. Get into bed.

[MaisyPops]

PenelopeFlintstone - I think what User was getting at is feeling tired, chesty and having cystitis wouldn't usually be a reason to call in sick.

They're right. Obviously ME on top of it could be but we don't know what the OP's absenve pattern is. In lots of companies youre worse off having lots of odd days. In my place of work 3-4 times off work (of any length) gets a meeting.

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

People really, really need to be aware that the Equalities Act doesn't mean you can't be fired for illness-related absence, because you can. Leeway should be given and reasonable adjustments made, but at the end of the day, if you cannot provide regular and effective service, you will be deemed medically inefficient.

I see it all the time on here, people saying you can't be sacked it's a disability etc, but it's not the case.

It's shitty I know, I have come close to losing my job because of my disability, but I can totally see it from their side too.

[BlondeBecky1983]

ME is awful and it sounds like you are doing an amazing job so far with everything you have to do. Many people with ME struggle to work at all which is commendable.

[lougle]

It is difficult. I get chronic migraine, have preventative treatments including botox, but still get more headache days than non-headache days. The migraines give me debilitating exhaustion, nausea, mind-fog, facial numbness on one side, etc. If I took time off every time I felt ill, I simply wouldn't work.

Last week, I had a long day coming up. We do 12.5 hour shifts. I went to bed early because I had a migraine. But it didn't shift and the nausea kept me awake literally all night. Because I had Flu (real flu) over Christmas and tried to return midway through the illness, I've triggered our absence system. I really don't want more sickness on my record. But a 12.5 hours shift is pretty daunting on the back of no sleep, with a migraine persisting. I dragged myself in and I got through it. It wasn't great, but it was doable.

[BlondeBecky1983]

You going to work is commendable I mean.

You definitely sound ill enough not to be in today.

I would get in touch with occupational health though and see what they can do to help make things more manageable for you.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

Call in sick.

[Thattimeofyearagain]

If you go in your going to make yourself worse. Stay off but ask for a meeting and explain that ME is covered under the legislation and you need yo talk about reasonable adjustments.

[Greyponcho]

I'm with thattimeofyear on this one.
You're not 'just' ill.
You have a chronic condition that affects you daily to do tasks most people take for granted. Provided that you've had the condition for more than a year you are protected by the equality act.
Your employer needs to be getting you a proper occupational health assessment and discussing the reasonable adjustments to be made.
If you need help with doing your job, (even getting to and from) contact access to work.
Perhaps remind your employer that ME is also known as chronic fatigue syndrome- the clue is in the name.
wouldn't be surprised if most of your illnesses are picked up from colleagues and the public whilst doing your job

[flumpybear]

Do you have an occupational health at work? I'd get an appointment if so they can help support your sickness with the management and let them know what your needs are. Can you work from home with your job at times?! This may help perhaps?!

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

I feel for you.

I also dragged myself in, I got some antibiotics OTC this summer so have cracked into them. I FUCKING HATE FEBRUARY

I don't think the issue is today per se, you either go in and feel ill or stay home and stress, and rest

the issue is your ME is incompatible with full time employment and motherhood, and now is crunch time. So maybe you do need to get this properly diagnosed and classified as disabled. you also need to have a talk with your husband, as if you don't work or are dismissed- he will have something to say!

sorry OP, I hope you can get this addressed over the next few months

[Hatemylifenow]

I have a similar condition (not ME but similar) and have had reasonable adjustments made for me such as:

• able to work from home if I feel an attack coming on - able to work from home in general
  
• able to come in late/leave early to avoid rush hour crush if I feel an attack coming on
  

Is anything like this an option for you going forward? They've really reduced my sick days.

[Sunnie1984]

You sound sick enough to me.

Likely that having twins and a job has been too much, particularly with this seasons cold and flu bugs which have floored many perfectly healthy people

If you are going to call in sick, take more than one day off. Stay of until you feel completely better, as two single day absences is technically worse than a whole weeek off, as it only counts as one absence.

Get to your doctors and see what support they can offer. Same with occupational health.

[user1484226561]

I got some antibiotics OTC this summer so have cracked into them are you serious? You have just decided for yourself to take antibiotics, with no regulation or monitoring. That is completely and shockingly selfish and immoral.

[Mehfruittea]

I have chronic illness, some days really feel impossible. Can you get yourself in to a union? Regardless of what you do today, make 5 mins to find a union that represents the travel industry and sign up. This might be your only protection if things head down the disciplinary route.

Many experienced managers still don't know how to manage someone with a disability and how to make reasonable adjustments. In your case, you will need reasonable adjustments to the sickness absence policy.

hope tomorrow is a better day xx

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

That is completely and shockingly selfish and immoral

I have asthma, and every year I get a chest infection- which necessitates anti biotics. rather than wait 5 days (if I am lucky) for a GP appointment to get the same drug prescribed, I bought some (the same one) in an EU country that's sells them otc

I get this very fucking year, I know how it feels , I know what a chesat infection feels like.

Seriously why is that selfish? why is that immoral? I HAVE to work. I am the only breadwinner.

anyway what the fuck do I care what you think .

[user1484226561]

anyway what the fuck do I care what you think

clearly you don't care anything for anybody, you are utterly selfish. What you are doing is totally irresponsible, and in my opinion should be a criminal offence, with a long jail term attached, and i think that before long, it will be.

[DreamCloud99]

I called in sick after I had to ask my lovely neighbour to take the twins to school for me

My boss was not happy as another colleague has called in sick also . There's a training day going on and there's simply no staff.

I feel very very guilty and worried but I'm so weak I can't even summon the energy to make myself breakfast .

I will probably be off for a few days or risk a serious plummet in my health.

I'm in a union and with their help I have been given adjustments - it's just so unpredictable with this illness that adjustments don't always cover it .

To the pp asking why they go to school 40 minutes away - we are in the process of moving to the area of the school so it's only short term.