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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I don't have an eating disorder?

332 replies

NotAlwaysHungry · 12/02/2017 22:51

I make myself sick about 2-3 times a week. I know it's not the greatest habit and is no doubt very unhealthy but I only do it when I've eaten too much junk. My weight is fine and I'm otherwise very healthy.

My sister recently found out about it (long story!) and she was horrified. She now has it in her head that I have some sort of eating disorder and will die at any minute.

She told me I need to see a doctor but I've been doing this for nearly eight years now and considering I'm still healthy then I'm hardly going to suddenly drop down dead because of making myself sick a few times a week.

OP posts:
Missbohan · 13/02/2017 14:25

Your bmi sounds like it might be fine, depending on how tall you are - I weigh less than you and even though my bmi is too low the GP hasn't asked to weigh me before. Wait and see if they ask you first and then just say no need you already know how much you weigh so then no need.

MrsJayy · 13/02/2017 14:28

Making yourself sick after food isn't normal behaviour your sister and other posters are right but you seem quiet relaxed about it what were you expecting posters to say?

MrsJayy · 13/02/2017 14:31

I missed an update apologies i see you are going to your GP good luck Flowers

fassbendersmistress · 13/02/2017 14:32

OP I could have written your post word for word a few years back.

I was in complete denial for over 10yrs, hid it from everyone esp my DP (why do this is it's normal behaviour?) and felt too ashamed and disgusted with myself to seek help.

When I finally realised I needed help I found it easier to write it down and hand it over to my GP, who was very supportive and arranged help (CBT and talking therapy helped me). It's been a long and difficult road with relapses, but I'm so bloody glad I accepted the problem and got help.

Honestly, you can't see it now but there is an actual reason why you are unable to limit your intake, are feeling panicky and anxious when full...and why you feel immense relief when you vomit (I'm guessing as I don't think you've actually said that). Those feelings have roots, it's not just 'something you do'. You can and will get to the bottom of it and the fact you've posted here is the first small step.

Good luck!

MTB1003 · 13/02/2017 14:32

You honestly really thought throwing up that much a week wasn't a big deal, and then you're surprised when people point out it actually isHmm you really thought this was normal?

Missbohan · 13/02/2017 14:35

This is confusing me too - as someone who has battled an eating disorder for years i think op should drop the act - unless u are completely dim u must know that making yourself is not "normal" - i have met a lot of other people with eating disorders and none of them play dumb unless they want attention. Sorry - prepared to be flamed for this - but asking for advice on 'will i be weighed' and then you know posters will say 'oh why don't you want to be weighed' i mean come on. Kind of an insult to other people who suffer with this.

BagelDog · 13/02/2017 14:36

Well done, for posting here,making the appointment, and telling your DP, massive step to take. Getting over these things is difficult at the start, but the relief that people know is huge, and you will put this behind you, and before you damage your health. You knew this wasn't normal or it wouldn't have been such a big secret, but you can't admit that to yourself, just like you really know that crying because you ate pasta is t normal, but the denial is all part of the illness.

fassbendersmistress · 13/02/2017 14:39

Oh and for a good long time I was normal weight, my skin was fine and people always commented on my lovely teeth. But it did all catch up with me, without warning, and many of my teeth are practically see through close up now and I had digestive problems for a long time as well as various other issues due to continuously depleting my body of resources.

Niskayuna · 13/02/2017 14:39

" To think I don't have an eating disorder?

I make myself sick about 2-3 times a week. "

You have an eating disorder.

AyeAmarok · 13/02/2017 14:40

I presume OP doesn't want to be weighed because she thinks she is not slim or light enough, so doesn't want the GP to know that.

LagunaBubbles · 13/02/2017 14:41

I dont think you are going to go to your GP, although I hope you do.

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 14:46
Confused

I never said that what I do is normal. I said it was normal for me because I've been doing it for so long.

OP posts:
Missbohan · 13/02/2017 14:51

So what advice were you hoping for? For someone to say great good job keep it up? You know no one on here would say that so I fully do not understand. Only you can decide if you want to get help - having people on mumsnet telling you it's not ideal to make yourself sick is kind of stating the obvious and presumably something you already knew, also if you go to your GP and tell them what you have been doing they probably will want to know your weight - again, obviously.

Purplebluebird · 13/02/2017 14:52

You have bulimia. I had anorexia in the past, and refused to see it until I almost died. Consider yourself lucky that your physical health has not been affected yet, and get some help before it is!

LanaorAna1 · 13/02/2017 14:56

You can have a shiny happy smile for years, the damage bulimics do to themselves is internal. Dodgy teeth are the least of your worries.

Heart failure doesn't show. Until it does.

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 14:57

I dont think you are going to go to your GP,

Confused What makes you say that?

OP posts:
Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 14:57

I posted for advice not ridicule.

OP posts:
springydaffs · 13/02/2017 15:00

People have their issues op. Take no notice. It's you and your recovery you need to focus on now xx

Missbohan · 13/02/2017 15:02

But what kind of advice? You just told people that you make yourself sick - you know you will just get lots of sympathy. Go and seek help privately if you recognise that you have an issue, or listen to your sister and your partner who have both already clarified for you that you need help. Frankly: anyone who claims they think making themselves sick is no big deal and asks the opinion of the internet KNOWING they will be told otherwise is insulting to other people who have eating disorders. I am getting off this thread now.

didthedeed · 13/02/2017 15:02

missbohan Stop being such a dick. OP has taken some important steps forwards here - fwiw I was asking why she didn't want to be weighed just so she could see that was another red flag pointing towards her illness.

If you know so much about it then you'll know that denial can be incredibly strong. You are clearly much further along the acceptance/recovery process than OP, but that doesn't mean you should be so rude.

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 15:02

I have already explained why I posted.

OP posts:
didthedeed · 13/02/2017 15:03

I am getting off this thread now. Good. Angry

Fontella · 13/02/2017 15:03

I never said that what I do is normal. I said it was normal for me because I've been doing it for so long

Regardless of how long you have been doing it, you cannot, even in your extreme state of denial, honestly suggest that you think binge eating, then forcing yourself to vomit several times a week is 'normal'.

Going for a shit is normal. Walking and talking is normal, taking a shower, having a glass of water/cup of tea ... is normal. Forcing yourself to vomit up what you've just eaten is not by any stretch of the imagination 'normal' regardless of how often and how long you've been doing it, and you know it OP.

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 15:04

I haven't made anyone read this thread either.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 13/02/2017 15:04

What makes you say that?

Because I think you are still clearly in denial.